What I'm realizing is that I'm understanding mark mansion's ideas behind "models". It is always the intention that is shining though my actions. It leaks into the daily with women and they will pick up on it. They will pick up on my neediness or my lack of it one way or another so the only way forward is to deal with why I am needy and effectively erase it. Version A is pushing me to go towards the best option of "game", in my opinion, that I know of. The game of becoming stronger in myself and my own opinion of myself rather than the opinion of others. Mark calls it becoming vulnerable. I call it being truthful to myself.
I have the fear of expressing my intentions to women because they might not be comfortable with it and I might scare them. If I'm not comfortable expressing my interest, I can't even joke about it. That is starting to change because I became much more forward with C. I'm starting to adopt "take me for what I am. If your not game I'll move on because life doesn't stop for me". Now I'm seeing her tomorrow to watch another jazz performance.
Taking a nap while playing version A and I had a visceral dream l. I dreamed of myself using a razor to shave off my skin and reveal the rawness of my flesh. Sounds so metal and cringe worthy and I think it means I'm shedding my insecurities and garbage.
Today and yesterday I had a heavy don't give a fuck attitude. Like it was literally the theme of the day for me. One of my friends is trying to distance herself from me and I'm thinking "that's fine. My life will keep moving on and I will meet new people. I'm not going stop my life for you". It's liberating for me.
Edit: I thought I was being too forward with her in one text but she proved the "rational but fear laden" side of me wrong
[attachment=444]
I have the fear of expressing my intentions to women because they might not be comfortable with it and I might scare them. If I'm not comfortable expressing my interest, I can't even joke about it. That is starting to change because I became much more forward with C. I'm starting to adopt "take me for what I am. If your not game I'll move on because life doesn't stop for me". Now I'm seeing her tomorrow to watch another jazz performance.
Taking a nap while playing version A and I had a visceral dream l. I dreamed of myself using a razor to shave off my skin and reveal the rawness of my flesh. Sounds so metal and cringe worthy and I think it means I'm shedding my insecurities and garbage.
Today and yesterday I had a heavy don't give a fuck attitude. Like it was literally the theme of the day for me. One of my friends is trying to distance herself from me and I'm thinking "that's fine. My life will keep moving on and I will meet new people. I'm not going stop my life for you". It's liberating for me.
Edit: I thought I was being too forward with her in one text but she proved the "rational but fear laden" side of me wrong
[attachment=444]
Phase 1: The Foundation
AM6(2020)
LTU v6(2020-2021)
OF v3(2021)
Phase 2
AM6 Refresher + SM3(2021)
AM6(2020)
LTU v6(2020-2021)
OF v3(2021)
Phase 2
AM6 Refresher + SM3(2021)
