Inner Changes I've seen:
Rising Warrior you've asked what sort of inner changes I've seen, I've thought about it and looked through this journal and these are the things:
Less attachment to getting a boyfriend. I still REALLY REALLY want one but I'm not - it's more things like, if something goes wrong I've gutted but I'm bouncing back a bit quicker I think. And I used to feel down about not being in a romantic relationship and sad about it a lot more. Sometimes I still no but nowhere near what I used to. Sometimes I even feel more hopeful now. Part of that is due to the outer changes that happened & getting back out there after a year off. But this sub has also helped.
Patterns: Being more aware that actually I've self-sabotaged with several guys in my life (at least) & realizing that there are some blocks there. I think it's when I think a guy is too good for me, it's a bit like what Shannon said but for me it's like "Oh, he's going to reject me, so I'll just reject him first, maybe that will hurt less." But it's been WAAAAY more subtle than that and come out as me saying things that put them off me, things that make it sound like i don't even like them. But just being more aware of the patterns there from before.
Improve & ideas - I had a few ideas of what to put on my profile or things to work on.
Self-love - Just a stronger urge to work on that and find ways to increase that NOT in a narcissistic way! - but in a healthy balanced way of course that includes a healthy respect for others too.
Dreams - this is more an outer life thing but it's also the inner world. I had a dream I was changing my facebook status to "in a relationship" and I've had sex dreams too, I think. I might have had dreams when I just kissed but I forget now.
(Erm, yes, it could also be my body protesting the not having sex thing! Ahem, moving on from that point!)
Less jealousy & insecurity.
Just in the sense that it used to be if I saw a guy I liked in a photo with a girl, I'd feel threatened, I'd think he was with her and so on. I mean like one example is when my ex boyfriend changed his profile photo to one of him next to a girl, in a pub together, quite close together looking cozy. It wasn't till I said to his best friend about (ex's) new girlfriend and bestie laughed and said, "She's just a friend and she doesn't even live in this country!" But compare THAT to
me seeing photos of my online crush with two other girls AND seeing girls flirt on his instagram with him and me NOT feeling the usual jealousy, insecurity, threatened, not feeling like wow I've got competition - I mean, yes I DO but not feeling automatically like "What's the point, he's going to choose one of THEM, he'd NEVER pick me."
This is what I have sometimes been like. I've felt like no use competing, she's better than me, let her have him.
This time I feel like, OK, so other girls fancy him, they have great taste. He could still pick ME, and if he doesn't it's OK. Someone great will. And oh she's probably just a friend - - - without being naive about it, I must ad!!
So those are the changes I've noticed on the inside. [/align][/u]
