UGH!!!!
I think I am going to take a break seriously, man!
A guy I've erm you know a few times in the past but there was always an underlying friendship too and honestly possibly love on his side (he's basically even proposed in the past) came back into my life and wanted to meet. I was trying to suggest meeting as friends only, NO sex. Part of me loved the idea of food, DVDs, chatting, laughing. I hadn't said yes or no and was trying to resist.
Anyway HE'S hurt his back and A's sister had to go to hospital for a minor operation and i get THIS stupid message from A.:
"I really like chatting to you and would still love to see you. I can't do the day and when I'm back I'll message you. You're always welcome to come by mine when you want
"
UGH WHY do I keep being offered sex?
I am trying so hard to NOT have sex and I keep being offered sex, sex, sex.
FFS I could sleep with a different man every week but that's NOT what I want.
But I'm getting quite frustrated at trying SO hard to do the "right thing" (apparently, if a woman wants a relationship) and NOT have sex. And I almost feel like, why do I BOTHER trying to be good. Yes I miss sex a lot. Cos of my manbreak & now trying to be good & go slow, I haven't had it for 1 year and nearly two months. But I'm doing this to try and get a relationship. You know? and if having sex when I want it is the sacrifice I have to make to get it, I'm prepared to do that to show them I AM girlfriend material.
Like I said, I have to be patient and I don't even know any more. Seriously. I think maybe I'll just take a break and focus on a different life area for a while.
I'm still really grateful for all the changes I've seen inside and out so far but I'm pretty effed off today, I can't lie. And AS for chatting with someone for a month and thinking he MIGHT want more than just sex and then the welcome to come by my house. UHHH.
Oh well.
Maybe I'm trying TOO hard?
Maybe I just need to take a break and try and focus on attracting other things I want like money, galpal friends etc?!
Maybe it's just a hickup, just a bad day?
Anyway, we all have our moments, I know. And even my fave chatroom isn't working. My day from HELL. Heh heh
I'll try not to resist the sheet and do some work stuff even though I don't want to and play my lovely computer game & tidy the room (UGHH) and just find things to appreciate somehow.
Eh, we all have moments like these. Hopefully, this too shall pass.
I still feel like i've laid a strong foundation however.
And by the way, I didn't fancy my blind date but I DID enjoy the date it was lovely & we had some laughs & a great time chatting. So that was cool. I don't want more and he doesn't want to be just friends but we're still both glad we met.
Back to the drawing board methinx!
I think I am going to take a break seriously, man!
A guy I've erm you know a few times in the past but there was always an underlying friendship too and honestly possibly love on his side (he's basically even proposed in the past) came back into my life and wanted to meet. I was trying to suggest meeting as friends only, NO sex. Part of me loved the idea of food, DVDs, chatting, laughing. I hadn't said yes or no and was trying to resist.
Anyway HE'S hurt his back and A's sister had to go to hospital for a minor operation and i get THIS stupid message from A.:
"I really like chatting to you and would still love to see you. I can't do the day and when I'm back I'll message you. You're always welcome to come by mine when you want
"UGH WHY do I keep being offered sex?
I am trying so hard to NOT have sex and I keep being offered sex, sex, sex.
FFS I could sleep with a different man every week but that's NOT what I want.
But I'm getting quite frustrated at trying SO hard to do the "right thing" (apparently, if a woman wants a relationship) and NOT have sex. And I almost feel like, why do I BOTHER trying to be good. Yes I miss sex a lot. Cos of my manbreak & now trying to be good & go slow, I haven't had it for 1 year and nearly two months. But I'm doing this to try and get a relationship. You know? and if having sex when I want it is the sacrifice I have to make to get it, I'm prepared to do that to show them I AM girlfriend material.
Like I said, I have to be patient and I don't even know any more. Seriously. I think maybe I'll just take a break and focus on a different life area for a while.
I'm still really grateful for all the changes I've seen inside and out so far but I'm pretty effed off today, I can't lie. And AS for chatting with someone for a month and thinking he MIGHT want more than just sex and then the welcome to come by my house. UHHH.
Oh well.
Maybe I'm trying TOO hard?
Maybe I just need to take a break and try and focus on attracting other things I want like money, galpal friends etc?!
Maybe it's just a hickup, just a bad day?
Anyway, we all have our moments, I know. And even my fave chatroom isn't working. My day from HELL. Heh heh
I'll try not to resist the sheet and do some work stuff even though I don't want to and play my lovely computer game & tidy the room (UGHH) and just find things to appreciate somehow.
Eh, we all have moments like these. Hopefully, this too shall pass.
I still feel like i've laid a strong foundation however.
And by the way, I didn't fancy my blind date but I DID enjoy the date it was lovely & we had some laughs & a great time chatting. So that was cool. I don't want more and he doesn't want to be just friends but we're still both glad we met.
Back to the drawing board methinx!
