Apex-Predator Evolutionary Log - AM6 RE-RUN Stage 2 - Letting go

[blue42]

"Alexander Technique"

That is a fantastic program I've only read some books about it.

What ever the dose your doctor gives you I would do half of what he says, I would never trust a female doctor because of what I know.
My subconscious fears about women being self sabotaging.. its just.. no, i cant.

[Dee]

"Alexander Technique"

That is a fantastic program I've only read some books about it.

What ever the dose your doctor gives you I would do half of what he says, I would never trust a female doctor because of what I know.
My subconscious fears about women being self sabotaging.. its just.. no, i cant.

Yep Its the fastest way to perfect posture I've heard about. It sucks to have to keep remained your self to sit properly, walk like an Alpha etc. Not a lot of people write about how the subs have changed this area. Whats this about doctors?

[Dee]

AM6 STAGE 1 - Day 11

AM6 KICKS ASRE!!!!

Am not sure if it’s the Overcome fear, shame and guilt script, but every time I would have sexual thoughts I would think of my mum or sister and that would make me feel ashamed and stop. Like they know what am thinking of kinda thing. Since listening to AM6 this has deceased a lot also I can’t seem to recall thinking about the past this couple of weeks past; when before I couldn't stop and little everyday things would trigger past negative memories.

FACING MY FEARS

I didn't approach anyone today (just had a convo with a female serving at the chicken spot), I didn't feel in the mood, some hot woman sat right opposite me in the train, she followed me to that carriage. I said “ You alright” but she wasn't looking at me and I had my headphones on, so I can never be sure if 1) She heard me, 2) She ignored me, 3) she thought I was on the phone 4,5,6,7,8. Anyway from that moment I lost the will, walk up approaches are cool coz you can leave when you run out of stuff to say but its almost like i can see how it will turn out when am in the mood. Again in the train some blonde MILF was staring at me HARD!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why is it always the older ones.



Anyway has planned I went out to break more fears, stood in the middle of a busy tube tunnel, only the kids looked back, some people smiled others laughed. Then I walked about affirming and tapping, strange looks, some painted performers greeted me. Then I walked down Tower Hill towards London Bridge and after a while I had the stomach to say my affirmations and reframes out a loud. I didn’t expect it to be so easy, I expected people to have reacted in a life treating way, funny to see how no one really gives a fuck, but I spent my whole life worrying. I didn’t approach afterwards too because I didn’t feel like it.


They closed down central London for the firework newyears show.


That aside my world view has changed completely, it’s like before I would have to run my every thought and action thru a imagery committee that would judge what people would think about it and that decision would decide what action I would take. Also It seems that it affects my intelligence because instead on focusing at the task on hand I will be worrying about people’s opinions, criticism what they’ll think if I fail or do a terrible job etc. 60-90K thoughts a day most about what people think about me and thought about me in the past, all that has changed now.



Also I read "The Universe Doesn't Give a Flying Fuck About You" while on train for a motivational boost, its one of the books I have challenged myself to read aloud in a public place. Find it attached, download it (its free), read it and DO SOME EPIC SHIT!!!

[Dee]

AM6 STAGE 1 - Day 12

-I spent the newyear’s alone and pissed off, am extremely bored when around people, even before when I was younger and had a more activate social life guys would come with girls to my house and I’ll be like am cool am staying in tonight, (maybe if the meds don’t work am finding an cute shy introvert online, PLAN B).

-I Was listening more to the ADD book and it seems that my boredom with people and life and those types of moods is normal for the condition, I just hope the meds will help with this as described in the book or its back to the drawing broad.

- I just noticed another pattern of mine, conflict seems to excite me and I seem to unconsciously get into arguments and fights, it’s like my normal dope levels are so low I need extreme shit to get a normal dose

- I Had great sex dreams about some women I know, It’s been happening a lot I can’t say this has happened before, and I had lots of sex dreams on the 1st stage of AM5 too.

-I have decided to leave the other programming for now while on AM6, I’ll just meditate instead, it helps with the overall goal am trying to achieve, I’ll also spend 30 mins a day thinking of the person I want to become following the Think and Grow Rich and Born Rich suggestions.

- Also I seem to have been jogging every day, I need to keep a log, anyway am going to jog then bed.

[Dee]

PS. I don't give a fuck what people think about me more than ever and its amazingly freeing. You not truly free until you free from the fear of other people's judgments, thoughts and opinions, that's just the way I see it.

[Dee]

AM6 STAGE 1 - Day 13 EPIC Sh*T

Today was the dawn of a new beginning for me. I dropped out of many college courses, I passed on so many jobs that needed a lot of human interaction for the solitude of a warehouse, I passed up many dates and relationships, Why?, you may ask; ALL because I lived in fear of what people would think of me.

They say a person has about 60-90k thoughts a day right, over 60% of mine were mind reading people in the past, present and in the future, pretty sad way to live, always thinking that people are thinking your worst fears about you. At the mercy of people’s approval, like a slave to the rules of society, culture, religion, but within dreaming of the freedom to be released from it all and be my own person.

And today ladies and gentlemen I reached the outer limits of that goal I did something that a few months ago I would think impossible if you asked me. I clued myself to a chair in a train and I tapped away my fears as I SAID the re-frames OUT A LOUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, yes a lot of people could hear me word for word in what seemed like a grand library at the time.



Weird thing happened, NOTHING WEIRD happen. Just some people looking, others trying to look away, some annoyed expressions, some little girl staring hard, some guy looking in admiration, some teenage girls laughing, some women looking at me as if they in heat, some people wishing they had the balls to do so, some other people thinking am crazy, others wondering what the f*ck am doing, others knowing what am doing instinctively and not been bothered. (I started to wonder why all the fear)

I looked people in their eyes as well, I swear, I had some sort of swagger afterward like this energy that women could sense, walking around like I own the tube station. It’s truly AWESOME, I had never felt so comfortable around people in my entire life, Ave never feel so comfortable period.

Before my mind processor would crash as I would try to keep track of everyone I saw and walk around in they defocused state, when speaking in public I would try to keep track of everyone and lose the whole plot but now I can ignore certain people and concentrate on the tasks at hand.



It has to be the sub’s OVERCOME FEAR script, I just want to face my fears all of them, am looking for more and more extreme stuff to do all the time now. I feel so much more grounded like I don’t even need a gorgeous women to validate my worth, or I don’t need to cover myself in an expensive mask of clothing, Jewry and scents to feel better about who I am, am like F*CK WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT ME, IT DON’T MATTER, unless you pay my bills, then and only then will it matter. Of course I want the finer things in life but NOW not to impress other people and win them over, just cause the primitive hunter male in me needs some goals to chase, conquer and feed off, plus everyone loves shinny things, its just the human condition.




Side note am studying cold reading so I visited some Indian guy for experience and asked him to teach me, he recons in their tradition they study for 6 years, he done some numerology, sort of dowsing and palm reading. A lot of hits and a few misses, but he recons I must focus on ONE WOMEN, and that my money line in my hand says; income £10 outgoings £20 or something on those lines but after the age of 28 for 7 years the stars will be on my side. Also he said about some accidents i had in the past and that I will have another this year, spot on about the past and i'll prove him wrong this year, am not driving




Anyway I have to keep pushing myself on a daily basis , I really NEED this subs full results and am not going to sit on my arse and wait for results. He “WHO DARES WINS” is our motto. I have always been intimated by black folks so I went to a black and Middle eastern area of London at night to tap away my social anxieties too, no point been confident around White folks and Asians but p*ssy around Blacks and Muslims.

“You Are Dying, and your World is a Lie” this was my days reading on the way to do battle with my demons. Ave attached it for you reading pleasure, ENJOY.

[stratos]

WTF..haha..awesome. So you went out and tapped away your fears out loud and in public? Can you give an example

[Dee]

WTF..haha..awesome. So you went out and tapped away your fears out loud and in public? Can you give an example

Well, its just as you imagined it.

I just paced my experience and affirming the truth and doing other positive re-frames about social issues. eg:

"I release the need to care what people think about me, its my thoughts that create my reality not others peoples opinions of me"

Then someone looks at me strangely,

"What ever is gong on is her head is none of my business and I refuse to be controlled by peoples disapproving gestures and expressions, am free to do what ever the f*ck I want, when ever the f*ck I feel like it"

I walk passed a beautiful women,

" Weather someone is young or old, rich or poor, ugly or not, their thoughts about me don't change anything in my world unless I give them that power. How are all these looks and reactions going to change my world? I'll still get on the train, go home, eat , shit, sleep and what would have changed an 1hr from now, a day or year? Only my emotions and I have complete control over them, I choose the release the need to give people power over me."

Walk down and see a group of teenagers that start joking to themselves and "..................." am sure you get the idea by now.

The hardest part was sitting in the train cause the people are there staring at you in the face and no one can avoid the awkwardness and for some the need to release it by laughter, at some point the train was packed and the two seats besides me were empty, but it had to be done.

There's only one way to get out of your comfort zone and that's to GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE.

[stratos]

Bravo. WOw

[Mystic Pymp]

People tend not to care about things like that. When I was walking today I saw poster for "Aida" opera and automatically I started whistling "Grand March" motive. Nobody cared even if I'm sure plenty noticed, but it made me strangely happy and free.

[Dee]

People tend not to care about things like that. When I was walking today I saw poster for "Aida" opera and automatically I started whistling "Grand March" motive. Nobody cared even if I'm sure plenty noticed, but it made me strangely happy and free.

Well if you can compare whistling a popular tune people are aware of to talking to yourself while tapping your forehead, side of your eyes, under your eyes, under your nose, under your lips, then your collar bone, under your armpits, on top of your head while still standing in the middle of a well trafficked pavement where people have to walk around you, then you are right no one cares expert for maybe the person doing it. Wink

[Dee]

AM6 STAGE 1 - Day 14

Almost at the halfway mark for stage one:

-Noticed that am envisioning the future the way I want it to be, whereas before I would only see the unrealistic worst that can happen.
-Been jogging daily, am no longer having to push myself, I just know its that time and I get up and do it. Used my ab toner last night while jogging, interesting experience.
-I feel like there is two of me, the old vs the new (thoughts, feeling and beliefs), some immature behaviors and thoughts are re-surfacing (cud it be the maturity script in action?)
-Still finding it hard to sleep and hard to awake.
- Less and less am thinking about the past, and even when I do I realize it and change direction, before I would get caught up in the false memories for a longer time and feel worst with each.

I working on my goals for the year and a daily visualization script to keep me focused on them. I also done some shopping, getting my sexy grown-man look going on. For years I was walking around looking at a dum and feeling terrible spending all my money on self-help products , it paid off, now i'll walk around looking like somebody and feeling like a prince creator. Only progressive thoughts, feelings and emotions for 2015.



I called up the ADHD clinic on Friday and they haven't even scheduled another appointment, I asked how long it may take until I feel a pill going down my neck and she said 1-2 months. After soaking up the "The Universe Doesn't Give a Flying **** About You" and “You Are Dying, and your World is a Lie” which I attached a few days ago, it made me realize that I lack a sense of urgency, am not getting any more younger and time is slipping by like sand in an hour glass, while I wait to live, to be happy, to achieve, to have fun etc. F*CK WAITING, am not going to wait 2 months to become more productive I have a lot of EPIC S*it to do. I organised to get myself some meds without a prescription, any min now I'll get them. Can't wait to get them and start building my empire.

[Dee]

AM6 STAGE 1 - Day 15

In NLP they say if you have one option you a robot, if you have 2 you in a dilemma, if you have 3 you have choice. So I sent about 2-3 hours in the town centre teaching my brain to have flexibility of thought/mind.

The run when like this:
1) See a women I want to approach, (think of approaching and notice my thoughts and emotions)
2) Write down my first thoughts that stop me from success, (I might run out of things to say and she’ll get bored of me)
3) After 15 mins create a dilemma by giving another positive outcome that’s possible, (like the fact she might feel attractive and be flatted by my approach)
4) Then after another 15 min create flexibility by imagining a crazy scene. (like her begging to give me a BJ after a few mins of speaking because am so incredibly hot)

I saw 40 hotties I wanted to approach and went thru the steps and then a pattern immerged which goes like this “I’m in a low energy zoned out state and am afraid that would be off turning has she’ll be influenced by it, if not that then I’ll run out of things to say and the convo will get awkward and our boredom will ruin a possible close like getting her number for another meetup.”

The Outcome

After the excise I realised that if I really knew how to tell the future or read minds I’ll be a billionaire playboy by now. I seems that some women could also have that energy (is everyone in a happy energetic state 24/7?) and I could have a dark vampire sort of seduction vibe that would work with some women if am willing to find out who. Another thing is that the women might have a lot to say and the responsibility of the convo doesn’t have to be mine alone, I don’t have to know what am going to say , I can let things flow and if indeed there is awkwardness it just means we don’t click or or are distracted by our attraction or something.

I rather have friends/partners I enjoy the company of rather than just having friends. It’s hard to explain but I’ve learnt not to take all my thoughts as fact but rather as suggestions and opinions and given more choice of thoughts I have more flexibility to create the reality that I want rather than been controlled by my past conditioning and fears.

THIS IS TOO EASY

Besides that I was comfortable in the town centre today can’t seem to have had 1 thought of what people might be thinking of me walking around alone looking at women and taking notes., AWESOME. The only things that pissed me off was:

1) Only old ladies seem to be staring at me
2) I always meet a superhot women and we have chemistry but I always never act on it, before It would depress me now am just f/cking pissed off.

That said since starting AM6 I seem to have gone out on my own and on my own terms more that I have in 2013 combined, coincidence? The whole of next week I’ll be conditioning myself with the 3 sec rule, if I can get myself to unconsciously approach women I like and say anything without thinking like removing my hand from a hot stove then life will be much more easier, I can use the same excise above to re-frame “rejection” by creating more options to unfavourable reactions. THIS IS TOO EASY!!!!!!!!!!!

PS: I have to move out by the end of this week (all fear is wiped out) and my ADD is making it hard to prioritize the tasks, can’t wait to get my hands on those stimulates.

[Leo1990]

As a kid I thought I had ADHD. My parents put me on meds for awhile. Then took me off.

Turns out I was just a growing kid, and talking in school seemed much more interesting than work.


Just saying, I think stimulants might actually be a crutch. I don't think anyone really needs them. Turns you into a zombie and women can sense this. Why not try some Ginko or Nootropics?

If you do take em, its my recommendation that you take the lowest dose possible. Probably 25% of what they would recommend. That sh** is powerful.