Apex-Predator Evolutionary Log - AM6 RE-RUN Stage 2 - Letting go

[Dee]

Summery

HighLights

Am too lazy to do this this month

Stage two of AM5 has been a hard journey through time and space, i made new friends and lost old fears. I went to thinking little about myself to respecting my self regardless of what other people think about me in this regard

Money Related

My value of myself has changed I am more comfortable asking for what’s mine or what’s owed to me. If I do someone a service then they must pay play they part in the agreed transaction.

All I have to deal with now is accepting business something in me might still feel it’s not fair to charge someone 100-500+% profit margins seems a bit greedy but then again business is a dog eat dog world. Any way I feel as though I have a lot of value to offer to the world and I deserve compensation for that.

Business Related

Based on my business insecurities that has totally vashied as much as I can see, it makes sense to hire people better than you or smarter than you, before I had issues with that feeling stupid, inadequate, and paranoid that they steal my idea. Now am looking forward to having people execute and or improve my plans and put my new ideas under a microscope. It’s going to be awesome, look out world the new Sir Rickard Branson is on the way.

Short Term Goals

I did not managed to compete my objectives for my waking up at 6am everyday and excuting my new daily Ritual somewhere along the line my obsession with success disappeared.

Its hard to explain before I would guilt myself or use my insecurities as motivational fuel but so much negativity as been eased from me this month I have run out of fuel. As a consequence I probably won’t need to do all that stuff I wanted to do think better of myself or feel good. I used to try and be a jack of all trades to avoid feeling ignorant and now am okay with mastering one thing.

Various Improvements
*Used to get nervous around people now that’s deceased to just the memory of been nervous
*Am going out and socialising more.
*Negative voices in my head have ceased to exist
*Racially based inferiority complex has gone where the voices live
*Without the loud inner critic my personally seems to show more, where as before I could not do anything so I don’t critize my self harshly.
*More balanced mentally, am not thinking about success (or how to) all the time
*WAY MORE HAPPY – I almost cried tears of joy yesterday at how I have changed so much I never thought I could be so free of negative thoughts and emotions and I seem to be getting better each day.
*Ave accepted my dyslexia and ADD, that I’ve been too hard on myself most people question they ability most the time too and just cause I “labelled” myself with these conditions doesn’t mean I get a get out of jail free card.
*Ave accepted that I can develop my brain like I can my body if I put the work in so my insecuries on this have faded it’s all on me now to get the mental skills I want as hard as it may be its possible.
*Am more certain of my business success now more that ever, I can see the picture in my mind of how it will all work and all the pieces and people that will make it work and this time I don’t see myself as the weak link and liability in it all.
*Now am more confidence in my ability to learn new skills and adapt,
*I had a Major Life Breakthrough with a negative pattern that always played out when ever I got close to success, I tamed that beast and now am forever free from it.
*I had a Major Life Breakthrough with getting triggered to feel useless when I made mistakes and the like.
*The need to worry has disappeared, and I am consciously stopping negative thoughts at the gate and only thinking about things I want to experience in my life.
*I have faith

Downsides and side effects

I am still demotivated and has made me more lazy than I was before.
I have turned down 3 dates/meetups with 3 different women.

Upsides

A’ve been having sex dreams every night for the last week.

Man I have been through some hard times this last month hopefully stage 3 is smooth sailing and I bit scared tho I don’t know what to expect but I know I will double up on my improvements.

Report
AM5 Stage 1 - Garbage Disposal

I lost motivation and stopped using my time management apps and softwares :@

Laziness Destruction and Motivation boost is on the way Ladies and Gentlemen. Cool thing about AM5 you don't know when anything will happen.

[Dee]

AM5 Stage 3 Summery

It’s been a disappointing last 34 days, besides time flying and I not feeling as though I made the progress I wanted to within that time AM5 stage 3 hasn’t had any huge effects on me. Most of the changes are so little I feel as though am making them up just to stay consistent with this trend.

I started to get bored a lot been alone which before never bothered me it could be the extroversion training. So I went so a few time and I was still bored to death with the whole experience. I then stopped all the progress I was making of going out and stayed indoors since. My coach recommended me going to events that I found more fun and exciting rather than just going out for the sake of it. Am starting considering alcohol again, when drinking everything’s fun but I won’t ever do that again.

My motivationless mindstate seems to have faded although am really lazy and I don’t think AM5 will cure it. Am waiting to see an investor tomorrow and this could be the break I’ve been waiting for, maybe my low moods and lack of enthusiasm is based on the fact things don’t seem to be moving forward at all creating a stuck feeling, but all things pass away.

Laserlike Focus and Concentration,

I have been doing brainwave entrainment and playing this sub during the day and the level of awareness it has given me as changed. I noticed that I have a constant stream of thoughts and every time I take my attention away from my thoughts to something external for example they seem to try every trick in the book to get my attention back by bringing up more exciting things to things about.

I started the Fast Forword Program to correct my spelling, reading and pronunciation issues and I have almost competed one module out of 8. The module am on had a “game” that focused on grammar and its weird because I caught my self-using the word “whom” the other day in speech now I have never used whom, who always sounded better but out of the blue I began using it so am excited about competing the program. When I do my re-run of AM5 I would have cured on dyslexia and lunched my business am confident will be through the roof which will bring my Alpha to new levels.


AM5 Stage 4
I don’t know if it has to do with this stage but its intense on my brain, I have been meditating for years now and I can feel movement or changes in my brain and stage 4 is intense, it’s been 2 days now and I feel it hard. I would think it has more changes than stage 3 and I will witness more improvements.

My faith in subs has faltered the only thing that’s keeping me going is the fact I had crazy dreams during stage 1. Yes dreams is the only proof I have for myself now. But at the end of AM5 I will know for certain.

I will never give up on my goals, dreams and vision, I will be all that i can be or die trying

[Clansy]

Personally havent felt anything on stage 3 too, but all of it came our at middle and end of stage 4, it was such a dramatic change. It was like everything just flipped into its places. I think stage 3 does a lot of work inside and you dont really notice the changes till your outside can back it up. It is just like muscles and bones, neither one can reach its full potential without strong other side to back it up.

[JackOfHearts]

Same thing for, I felt the program effect on stage 4, then It blew my mind . I think the stuff you can see on stage 3 is your body language that is changing. Since Stage 4 to 6 I have seen slow steady improvement in my behavior.

[Dee]

Awesome news!!!

Stage 4 rocks!! you right Maniac360 and Clansy

“Life is harsh only for those that fail to assert themselves” Read it somewhere

Am not sure if it’s this sub (well am sure the sub creates a domino effect of events that force you to change) but I have stopped/stopping been a doormat.

On many occasions on this stage I have reacted differently than I normally would have. I ordered a service from a model the other day and she completed the job but not according to the instructions I gave, in the past I would have just overlooked that and gave her good feedback rating on the websites portal but not this time I confronted her on the issue and she gave me a full refund and told me to keep the work.

I could have handled it more smoothly am sure but I have been pissed off at all the people who don’t respect me and walk all over me. My friend keep me waiting for 3 hours the other day as he was supposed to pick me up then we would go to his place, when he got to mine I didn’t go with him I was like fuck him he can drive back on his own for leaving me waiting like that.

Am feeling like going to night school and getting a MBA as people will respect me more that way, I also seem to hate BS from people and I have a urge to call people out on it whereas before I would not say anything and leave them believing I was dumb enough to buy they Sh*t.

I also have to report that like I was told before by the guys my motivation as returned and I think it’s from a positive place am starting to restructure my routines again. This is so awesome and wonderful, AM5 seems to have been working in the background all this time and am starting to see the results.

It seems Alpha males have it easier than the rest of the population and am been initiated into the ranks.

Laserlike Focus

Also my focus is improving but so gradually I failing to notice it sometimes. Once in a while tho I notice how clear my mind is and when I read I can go through many sentences without rereading to been distracted on something I read triggering other thoughts that have nothing to do with the content. I am no longer feeling any changes in my head tho when listening to beta waves so I am whiching up the track for another one.

Beside that I might start posting regularly again, I wonder if anyone had the same experience has me on stage 3-4.

[InTheZone]

Stage 4 is where I started to really increase my exposure time because I started seeing the results and it made me motivated to go all out in the final three stages. Glad you are seeing the same thing.

[JackOfHearts]

Kill the nice guy and you'll be free leepy:. Most people think it's rewarding to be nice and compliant but actualy it's not.
Great result keep saying what you really think

[Dee]

AM5 S4 - Day 16

I have been approaching new people once every day.

At some point in the next few weeks as am busy right now (excuse?) I will spend an hour a day for 90 days approaching people and starting conversations. After that time am sure it will become a skill and habit that I will be able to do comfortably and without thinking. The I can move on and master another step in the seduction process.

1st Day – I chickened out when back home p*ssed off at myself, didn’t tap on it thought I used it as fuel.

1st approach – Old lady at bus stop, there wasn’t anyone else around and I near home had to talk to someone. That went well I think.

2nd approach – A pretty chubby looking women in a tracksuit she was walking fast and she pasted me then I asked her opinion on something and she answered I first started walking faster to pace her for a few secs then I remember how comfortable it could be. She kept walking as we talk then disappeared into a park, she looked back tho. She was smiling ear to ear the whole time

3rd approach – I take evening walks and there isn’t always hot girls alone at night on the road, so I was getting close to home I could have felt bad if I didn’t open anyone so I saw a guy and girl and approached them. The girl was smiling from ear to ear and I think I forgot the guy was there and looked at her for a bit to long, he then stated in a nice way she was his girl and they were arguing and couldn’t talk.

4th approach – These two women where outside a glass company talking at about 9 pm. One was mixed race and huge in height and size she towered over me, the other white girl was my height and quite attractive. I was feeling bad as I spend over 18 hours on the PC so as we began talking I was afraid of getting shut out the set so I blabbed a lot and didn’t give them time to talk. The white girl laughed at one of my lame jokes guess she liked me.

5th approach would be tonight.

Am not really trying to get any numbers or have a prolonged convo I just need to get comfortable and relaxed opening sets and talking to women. The I can move on to trying to increase the time we speak etc. coz I do notice I don’t know where to take it from the opener and I might drag it on for too long.

[MadTheReaper]

Great way to go.

Talking to strangers can be addictive. Especially daygame.
But I wish every addiction was like that.

[Dee]

Day 24

Cool, so I just got out of a session with my female sex coach and I should say; for the last two weeks since I started on a program she recorded for me she is always excited to see me and the professional mature women is gone out the door. She acts like a horny teenage girl in love, we really kick it though.

Alpha/beta Progressing

What’s awesome is she a hypo dominatrix and she really into the dominant role and like women dominant relationships. But I seem to have become more alpha and “overwhelm” her female energy.

An example of this is the fact that she was supposed to record the session and send them to me but I got the coaching at haft price so I felt I didn’t deserve to ask for her to record it, but after 2-3 months I have changed so dramatically that today she said she couldn’t because she was using her laptop that didn’t have the software and I pushed her to download audacity and she recorded the session.

“Life is harsh only for those who fail to assert themselves” read it somewhere.

I seem to have changed my mind about the dynamics of relationships a lot, some ones always has to take the lead and nature choose a man. But today men give all the power always to hot women making alphas seem even more attractive than normal.

I have been looking at these guys who are into polygamy and some of them have 3-6 hot loyal girlfriends/wives then there’s guys shy to even talk about sex with avg looking girls and take they shit in a relationship, somethings gotta give.

Approaching syndrome

So I started off a few months ago feeling like I was going to die when reading the “How to be an alpha male”. I mean my stress levels where thru the roof. I was picturing my skinny, big belly, scruffy looking, and insecure short tiny self-approaching these hot, superior, chased after goddesses. You can imagine the outcomes that naturally came out of it.

But now I approached this girl and asked where I can get heroine from just because I was bored and wanted to see how she would react. I can honestly say I have overcome this issue, I am far from mastering it but when I feel the fear I get happy it makes me feel alive and gives me fuel to do the thing I fear. I now see myself as a person who deals with his fears and doesn’t shy away from them.

The bus stop girl

I need to work on my voice and accent, I speak low and people find it hard to understand me. But away way there was this blond that I saw on the road taking my walk. She crossed the road and went to the bus stop (I think she sensed my intention?), I crossed and when to speak to her. I had to repeated myself as she didn’t hear me, but she smelled of booze and it was like 9pm (bad time to practice this stuff on weekdays on roads).

Anyway I need to learn body talk, first she gave me the once over, from toe to head, then she started looking into her bag and didn’t see what for then she started fixing her hair. It was like she was really nervous or something, but because she didn’t look at me expect when answering I took it she wasn’t interested and the time of night it was ……… Been insecure about my accent and not dressing the way I start to based on my budget makes it really hard to view things objectively.

But I have seem women behave strangely to me before, one girl because so confused, one time my mates girl started singing and looking at me and all sorts. Am not sure what happened with her but she was acting strangely.

What to do next

At first I was in it just to speak to women and break my barriers but now I feel I walk away too soon as I misjudge everything going on and I have overcome this approach issue.

What must I do next see long I can speak for until the person walks away to learn all the signs?

[stratos]

hypo dominatrix female sex coach? what's a female sex coach?
you are a riot.
"asking hot girls for heroine"...

[Dee]

She a hypnotherapist, sex researcher, she has a masters Degree in Human Sexuality and certifications in a bunch of other things like tantra. So she helps people with any sexual issues, dating, seduction etc as well as any fetishes they might have, am sure you are aware of the exotic hypnosis niche?

So female sex coach would mean she’s coaching in relationships, seduction and untimely on how to get laid using many techniques from many disciples.

Hypo dominatrix is a dominatrix that uses hypnosis, you know about how they make zombies in Haiti? She can use hypnosis to re-structure the mind at an identity level and make a person submissive like a sex slave or sex zombie coz some people love that sh*t. So we using the same process to make me dominant. I had negative voices in my head all the time in ½ haft sessions she cancelled them out, and a bunch of other issues that I have dealt with since starting working with her.

IF ANY ONE WANTS TO TRY HER OUT PM ME AND I’LL TRY AND GET YOU A DISCOUNT.

"Asking hot girls for heroine"...

I love to see how people react to random stuff it’s fun for me. This one time I was drunk and I and stood in a dark ally in the town centre and I was asking girls how much they charge for blowjobs. These two girls actually stopped and spoke to me for ages about random stuff.

PS i was in a random city no chances of seen any of them again, so dont try that at home kids

[Dee]

STAGE 4 COMPLETED

What can I say, it’s been a confusing month.

I went from been afraid of women the more attractive the women the more fear I felt. Like I said before even reading “How to be an Alpha Male” made me feel anxious, now that’s all gone. Ave also noticed that all the girls I approach have a huge smile and are inviting, the ones that reject me , well I don’t take it personally there’s always a good reason.

I have listened to the audio book of “How to be an Alpha Male” many times now and it seems a different mind-set from what I had before.
Which begs the question from just following the advice from the book the subs can just be an empty tone that would get all the credit, my paranoia has spoken.

Internal Motivation

So I went from been hungry to approach women to feeling as though there are more or other important things in life than women. It’s like spending those 384 hours going out 4 days a week, for 6 months could be put to better use at this point in my life.

It would seem to me that if am successful doing what I love to do I would naturally attract good people (women, friends etc) and thing into my life, gather than been needy putting my happiest and self-worth on whether or not I can pull women or on external factors.

Superiority and What others think

I used to feel inferior to people but now that gone too, I also feel a dominating male energy over women in general. Before I gave them so much power over me and now I have taken that back. I still seem to care what guys think of me tho, and people in general.

I have a hard time approaching women where other people are close, like on buses, trains etc. I have always put too much value on the opins of others. Last week I tried to speak t this girl on the bus and she ignored me and all I could worry about is what the other people in the bus where thinking, I didn't care much about been ignored/rejected.

Stage 5

Hopely Stage 5 will deal with that. Also I finally have begun working out a little at home with kettle bell routines and an ad toner.

Stage 5 tonight new patterns tomorrow.

See you on the other side : )

[Dee]

Day 14 of AM5 Stage 5

Time flies , I was like yesterday I was on here introducing my self, I feel like i could have done so much more in the time i was in, even thought be Alpha will create a lifestyle that many will not experience in many life times.

NEW ATTITUDES

Ok, so the story goes ……. I have been buying monthly packages for coaching, I received the packages at half price which I thought was great. As extras the coach was to record and send over an mp3 of every session as well as create a custom recording every month the coaching was going for and give product bonuses for every $ spent on coaching.

So here’s the kicker, it took six weeks to get the first custom recording, and the coach stated that she couldn't record the sessions for some nonsense reason (during Stage 1-2 of my AM5 journey) and I been the beta male that I was said nothing, I justified to me self as “well am paying half price anyway, how can I demand more than am getting".

DOMINANT ATTITUDES

The coach has stated that the coaching could be locked into that discount for 3-6 months, at month 3 (during Stage 3-4 of AM5) I started to push for the recording of the session and got them recorded twice, my thinking changed to “ well am paying half the price as a discount, not for half the service but half price for the full service”. My domience increased and I hated the thought of getting taken for a ride especially by a women.


I had cash-flow issues on the 4th month and I wanted to freeze the coaching for a while, as my business if draining my juice. She says it’s cool, but then I ask for the 3 custom recording and other bonuses offered and she refused stated that I can’t break of a six month agreement, a lot of polite emails down the line I had enough of her unreasonably arguments and requests. The old me would have let it go and justified it somehow to save my ego the shame of it all, but this time I wasn’t having it. So after telling her all the things I could do as a buyer and my rights and all, I contacted PayPal and I have just received a refund, The coach says she will send over the bonuses too as been an internet marketer I was going to run a PuaFraud.com type campaign on her and ensure people in her niche where somehow exposed to my review/story.

Accepting the Alpha Within

Now I feel bad somehow, I mean I stood up for myself, whereas the old me wouldn’t have let up. I am replaying the events in my mind and reading the email dialog trying to convince myself I did a good thing. Am starting to feel like an asshole even with the tech team an working with , it took them more time than required on the last project and now every time they set a deadline and miss it or miss a meeting am on their asrses for it. I then project myself into them sometimes and feel bad, as though am the bad guy.

The guilt of been an Alpha Male

I think Christianity as made me weak,

38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’[a] 39 But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.40 And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. 41 If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. 42 Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

Now it seems I have to deal with the guilt of been an Alpha Male. There no way I can twist those words above and do the opposite without feeling like am doing something wrong.

HELP!!!!!