Antaeus' Pre-AM6 thread (questions and preparations)

[Antaeus]

Yea I guess my comment was a bit blunt the other day. I was reluctant to go into detail, but we had a lab day in my class the other day and I just so happened to be paired with one of the only two girls in our class. She's young (I've got about 10 years on her), and I would say very attractive.

Our instructor basically had us do research and find the manual for a particular PLC (programmable logic controller) and basically draw out a wiring diagram as per his specifications. These classes are designed to teach us how to figure out complex problems on our own. Which is not a bad thing but can be pretty frustrating at times.

To be fair, I think this girl was just frustrated about the task at hand, but she was a bit standoffish the entire time. So naturally me taking that cue didn't say much that entire time either.

Logically I knew that she was frustrated with the assignment as I was too. But somewhere deep down my subconscious mind was making it about me as a result of past experiences. I had always been shit with girls in the past due to my awkward nature (which I'm hoping AM6 will change), and even though I certainly was not trying to hit on her, the awkwardness still made me feel like a creep. It reinforced many deep insecurities. I'm aware of these insecurities however, so even though it got my wheels spinning a bit, I wasn't terribly upset by it.

If success with women comes with the package in AM6, then I'll gladly welcome those changes. But the situation I just described seriously gets me pumped up about AM6, especially, in this case, the "approval seeking destruction" component and the "little to no interest or concern with what other people think of you or what you do or say" component.

In short: for once in my life, I want to just not give a shit.

If you want to stop giving a damn then you have to simply start choosing to do so. It’s always simple but not always easy to do I admit. You’ll have to work that choice like a muscle until it becomes stronger, and then eventually a habit. What helped me is when I came to the realization that I was wasting my life caring about things I had no control over. Learn to take responsibility and accountability for only your own words, thoughts, actions, and emotions. Teach yourself to become detached from everything else. It’s fine if you can still feel compassion towards others but ultimately you can’t control them, and even if you could, you’d tire yourself out quickly.

Thank you for this. Perhaps AM6 will help me work that mental muscle as you say.