Ampers&d: The Year of the Alpha (Male 6.0)

[Ampersnd]

Stage 2, Day 29,

I'm going through that phase where I want to make millions, fuck porn stars, and do all sorts of cool stuff (again).

And here I am, sitting on my parent's couch, waiting for my regulatory body to certify me for work.

[Benjamin]

The regulatory body of porn stars?

[Ampersnd]

@Benjamin: sure, let's go with that

Stage 3, Day 3,

I'm becoming frustrated. Just want to get on with my life and work.

At the gym, I saw a fucking sexy woman with a really built ass (she could've been a porn star) doing a certain barbell hip press exercise (almost 2 plates; remember, her ass was spectacular, doubtlessly because of that). But, I felt nothing. No physical attraction in my body, no desire to talk, no spark. I then told myself: "Doesn't she get enough guys like me (without vitality or purpose) talking to her?". I felt nothing to bring to her. But, I did talk to her briefly in passing. My situation with dating is also frustrating.

But, I've been lifting more at the gym:
Squat: 205 x 3 reps
Chest Dumbbell Press with spotter: 90 x 2 arms x 4 reps (essentially 180 lbs on the Bench Press)
Deadlift: Still working on form, but the weight I'm working on in 135 lbs.

I've also been doing better at logic; I've reviewing the notes from my logic program and redoing the exercises. I've developing a pretty good sense of how to use facts make sure that I draw the proper conclusions.

But, I can't seem to defend myself against peoples' rhetoric, which is why rhetoric is the next step in the Trivium.

My Spanish vocab is also better; I'll continue learning until the New Year, at which point I might work on other languages.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 3, Day 5,

A different feeling in my body; feels better than usual.

I've had the shocking realization that my family members are huge Liberals; not in a Classic Liberal sort of way; more of the quote-John-Stewart-and-Oliver sort of way; no regard to statistics, facts, logic. All rhetoric.

We had our Thanksgiving here in Canada-land, so certain conversations came up (we Canadians take a certain interest in Americans and their guns (and Trump)). I do my best to tune them out until I can crystallize my skills in logic and rhetoric.

Though I'm not American, I fully understand where the Constitution - which I've read a couple of times - is coming from when it comes to civil liberties; they were well aware of what would happen without those rights, namely the dissolution of individual liberties. The second amendment is the huge 'fuck you' from the people to their centralized government that dissuades said government from going after any of the other amendments of the Constitution (at least, not without some serious consequences).

[Ampersnd]

Stage 3, Day 10,

I upped my game at the gym. I've done 225lbs x 1 at the Squat. Got my deadlift up to 185 lbs with proper posture (never done before). I might even go tomorrow and work on my pressing skills, and then cardio.

Finally got my transcripts from the university. I expect to get my certification very shortly.

I also ordered a book on the Trivium from my bookstore. It should hopefully ship this week.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 3, Day 18,

Got my diploma yesterday at convocation and my certification to work. Today, I got a call to an interview. But since the job was private (I do 100% of the work to recruit from scratch) , it wasn't what I was looking for.

I'm more motivated to do some volunteering for hospitals and other related areas. I'll do that tomorrow.

I'm almost done my first pass of the book on the Trivium; I definitely need to read it twice more, with highlighter and pens, to receive a large portion of its benefits.

More emotional turbulence; in fact, I was a pissy little brat during my convocation yesterday. I was sad today.

[Inconceivablezen]

What trivium book are you reading Dan?

[Ampersnd]

What trivium book are you reading Dan?

http://www.amazon.ca/Trivium-Liberal-Log...he+trivium

Finished it before bed. I'll begin re-reading it shortly.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 3, Day 24,

I've noticed that I puss out of going up and talking to girls at the gym.
I've felt a very mild motivation boost in general, but my fears seems to be more compelling for normalcy.

My goals have gotten larger (from listening to 10X Rule); I'm going to begin ramping up my output, so I should make a quick plan on my highest priorities.

I've met one of my language goals, and I'm almost done learning the Trivium; I've been writing the most salient points down, and I'll review the notes once or twice more.

Now that I'm accomplishing goals, I can begin narrowing my focus and work with more intent upon getting a job in my field and making money.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 3, Day 26,

I took mildly different action today; I called a large portion of my job prospects directly to find how out where they currently stand in their hiring process. It came up mostly blank.

I also got up earlier (and will be going to bed earlier tonight to do it again) to go to the gym once again.

My heroes at the forefront of my mind are Bruce Lee and Grant Cardone. I want to have some personal cause (even if personal success) to fight for that will compel me to take enormous action. Right now, there are no real prospects. I could strike out and go to a new city, but the rewards would be the same as though I stay here.

But, I could always get into sales.

[SargeMaximus]

Oh shit! Do sales man! At the very least it'll open your eyes to how people are. Do you have some sales opportunities?

[Ampersnd]

Stage 3, Day 30,

I've stopped caring about the day counter. I've almost forgotten to check.

I keep opting out of approaching women at the gym.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 3, Day 31,

Hesitated to post this but whatever.

Did volunteering for the first time in a while. Kept locking eyes with a cute girl throughout.
I eventually go up and we talk. We got along, and I felt that polarity I haven't felt in a while.
Bad news, she's still in high school, and not even in her last year. That could mean 16.

Though I stuck around for a minute, Needless to say that I left without trying for any thing.
But she knew I was older from the conversation and she still had those puppy eyes.

Lol c'est la vie

[Ampersnd]

Stage 4, Day 4,

What day am I on again? Oh, ok. Talk soon.