Ampers&d Finds His Mojo [SM3.0]

[Artemis]

Too much verbalizing. Women have to feel like it's "just happening" if you take time to make sure "everyone's on the same page" and "we know that we're having sex now", it saps the fun out of it. Women want spontaneity not a scheduled f*ck.

To be honest, it sounds like you wanted to control her and the situation, probably fear I'm guessing. You just gotta go with it dude, own your sexuality but let her do her thing. If she's talking about some lame subject, find the sex in it, and you'll get the idea.

Sarge how do you feel so comfortable giving out sex advice when you yourself are a virgin?

[SargeMaximus]

Too much verbalizing. Women have to feel like it's "just happening" if you take time to make sure "everyone's on the same page" and "we know that we're having sex now", it saps the fun out of it. Women want spontaneity not a scheduled f*ck.

To be honest, it sounds like you wanted to control her and the situation, probably fear I'm guessing. You just gotta go with it dude, own your sexuality but let her do her thing. If she's talking about some lame subject, find the sex in it, and you'll get the idea.

Sarge how do you feel so comfortable giving out sex advice when you yourself are a virgin?

Lol, how do you think?

[athanas]

Sarge how do you feel so comfortable giving out sex advice when you yourself are a virgin?

I just thought the same.

[Ampersnd]

Guys, I appreciate the advice. But I've already pulled the lessons from that night. I now choose to focus only on what I want in regards to sex and women, instead of focusing on the experiences that brought me clarity on what it is I want (i.e. unpleasant experiences).

So, as a favor, let's please drop the topic and talk about something else.

[SargeMaximus]

Guys, I appreciate the advice. But I've already pulled the lessons from that night. I now choose to focus only on what I want in regards to sex and women, instead of focusing on the experiences that brought me clarity on what it is I want (i.e. unpleasant experiences).

So, as a favor, let's please drop the topic and talk about something else.

Ok, I'm fine with that, but only because I want to see how it works for you. In my opinion, you're avoiding something but I'll say no more. Your journal, your rules.

[Artemis]

Hey Dan you should check out Swinggcat's Masculine Polarity CDs, I heard its good shit and its right along the lines of what you're currently doing. Also you should check out Zan Perrion, he focuses on a more "spiritual" approach to seduction and he's famous for his "love of all women."

On the topic of the male/feminine you should definitely check out Tantra as a way to deepen your experience with all of this. I would recommend Alex Vartman and would suggest his 21 day program that focuses on not having an orgasm for 21 days and he has a video for every single day where he discusses topics about Tantra.

[Ampersnd]

Guys, I appreciate the advice. But I've already pulled the lessons from that night. I now choose to focus only on what I want in regards to sex and women, instead of focusing on the experiences that brought me clarity on what it is I want (i.e. unpleasant experiences).

So, as a favor, let's please drop the topic and talk about something else.

Ok, I'm fine with that, but only because I want to see how it works for you. In my opinion, you're avoiding something but I'll say no more. Your journal, your rules.

Frankly, I'm avoiding sharing every detail on the forum; they're personal and involve other people. I've faced up to it, I'm just not telling

[SargeMaximus]

Frankly, I'm avoiding sharing every detail on the forum; they're personal and involve other people. I've faced up to it, I'm just not telling

Well I'm not saying you should divulge the details in any way, I just sense you may be side-stepping the issue. For example, for me, realizing that I can be free by "not giving a f*ck" is REALLY just me avoiding socializing. I never learned it, and it's an important part of being human. I could go all Buddha and enjoy life "freely", but I'd REALLY just be avoiding the greatest of my challenges right now which is: how to relate to other human beings.

You don't have to share details about whether you agree with me or not either, but just make sure, for yourself, that you really are doing the right thing.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 4, Day 28

I worked, and then went busking; made more in two hours than I did at my real job in 5+. Granted, it was cold, nonetheless it was a lot of fun.

Long story short, my success with women will come down to my ability to have sexual presence and intent regarding the women I fancy, and not wavering regardless of their attempts at making concessions or compromises. I learned that from the other night, and that's all well in theory, but it's applying it, even in the middle of a dry spell, that will put me on the path to big success.

Was working on building the masculine presence today; it seemed that I had been unable to get the presence going in public. I will figure out why, and it's crucial, as it's the aforementioned basis of success with women.

Stage 5 is approaching; I truly hope that my zest for approaching from Stage 2/3, and my intent will be developed in this next stage.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 4, Day 29

In trying to bring back that natural feeling of sexiness, today has become a very strong tapping day.
I did 3 Accelerators, 3 PSTEC sessions, and probably 30 minutes of fEFT on the side. Lots of uncomfortable yawning and tears streaming down my face, all to bring you this one insight...

My insight draws a parallel between "most guys' approach to getting girls" and the "homeless person's approach to making money". Here goes (I'll keep it brief):

The complete truth RE: both these situations: People will not make the most logical decision; they will consistently make emotional decisions that make them feel good/better/not bad.

Straight women will share their attention/sexuality/love to men who make them feel good/valid/sexy, not quite the men who 'fit the bill' with a good job and is nice.

My running theory (needs more anecdotal evidence) is that the most crucial thing to making women feel good is sexual presence (man feels awesome sexual feelings in her presence, which make her feel sexy). Same thing could work with feeling love or feeling good.

People will share their money with things that make them feel good; some nice clothes, maybe some booze, concert tickets, a good meal.

People on the outside of this are completely unaware of how the aforementioned people work. They just really need to get what it is those people have without understanding them. They just jump in and ask for the thing, with no regard to the fact that these people (above) will react positively to things that make them feel good.

Guy in dating. Everything the girl hears is: "I hear you have some sex; can I have some sex?"
Girl responds: "Oh no, sorry. There's another man in my life that has that sex. And only he can have that sex. So sorry"

Homeless guy: "I hear you have some money; can I have some money?"
Homed guy: "Oh no, sorry. I don't have any money on me at the moment. Oh so sorry!"

But guess what the shocking truth is? (ARE YOU PREPARED FOR THIS SHOCKING TRUTH? IT MIGHT TRULY DISTURB YOU!!!)... Please sit down..

1) The woman DOESN'T have a boyfriend!!
2) The guy HAD some money, and he threw it in my case while I was busking!! Dun Dun DUHHHN!

What gives? Are these people evil?
No, not at all; they're just responding naturally to what's being given to them. Often, these sorts of exchanges are stilted, uncomfortable, and leaves the pursued party feeling worse off than before.

Notice how a woman will go to extreme lengths to shake off some needy guy?

Or what if some homeless guy wanted to hang out and grab some beers at a bar with you? If you felt that clingy/needy energy and really didn't want to go with him, there will be a lot of things that you'd be willing to say to avoid going through with it, cause you know he'd probably guilt you into paying his tab.

Even if you'd lie about the fact that you're busy on those particular days, or you would avoid answering their phone calls, would that make you a bad person? What if you had 20 guys just like that, all of them asking for your money in some way?

If you had nothing to gain from it, you would probably choose to spend your time with none of them; why would you?

Women aren't bad people for their white lies, flaking, or general aversion of guys in which they have no interest. THEY FUCKING HAVE TO! They don't owe it to you just because you asked.

And any bone they would throw to you - just like several homeless people - would directly fund your addiction. In your case, your addiction to pu$$y and validation.

Yesterday, a homeless guy witnessed me getting paid (more specifically, a 5$ bill put into my guitar case, for busking in the streets) by the same people who, just a moment ago, said they hadn't any money.

He exclaimed that "It's not fair!". In several ways, that's very true; I've had the opportunities to enter that situation with the tools to provide value, whereas this man might not have had nearly the same opportunities.

But as long as he is unaware of that rule - in which people pay for things that make them feel good - he may very well be trapped in that cycle for the rest of his days.

If you're even gotten the "I've got a boyfriend" line in the club, and then witness that girl and some shlub reenacting the stabbing of Julius Cesar on the dance floor (he got stabbed a lot!), you may also exclaim that "It's not fair!". And it isn't, because you don't know what women want...

That's where you meet other guys that don't know what women want, and you start to create conceptual models of what women want (mind you, from that estranged place of craving pu$$y and not knowing what she actually wants) which distorts your world view and straight up makes you weird.

The worst part is where your messed-up theories work every once in a while, thereby proving that the framework that you've built is valid. "It's just that these bitchy American women can't see that my neg and DHV mean that I'm a cool alpha guy that can so keep her interested! These hoes just want money and a big dick! That's why I've got to go out 7 nights a week and hang out with other pick up guys so that I can stay on top of my game and get some."

All of this avoids the point completely; if you were to figure out what it is women actually want (which, I'll admit, is hard information to get from the right sources), you could simply embody that, and throw out the rule books for what you're supposed to "do", or how to behave and act like an alpha guy. If you can embody the feeling of being a sexy guy, women will get that feeling from you, that you're the "sex guy". And the rest is history.



This is where I'm going to experiment with sexual polarity, feeling masculine, feeling abundant, love and happy, because feelings are absolutely contagious, and she'll be able to feel it and know that there's something different about me, compared to the rest.


Another thought; where women get a lot of flack for going for looks/fame/money/status, it would seem that these gentlemen feel a lot more internally fulfilled than most guys she comes across, therefore giving him some form of gravitational pull on her and many other women, because he's able to give her so much intangible value.


Anyways, event wise, I managed to busk for a bit in the afternoon, and before that, it was rather hard to stay fully present. I'm loosening my need for any women, and realize that it's silly to base my self-worth off of that.

Many things (prior to that big PSTEC session) have gotten in the way of feeling love towards the women I see day to day, and feeling sexy. Since I was doing a good job cultivating it earlier this stage, this is clearly resistance of my subconscious that will be overcome.

Stage 5 starts in 4, maybe 5, days.

[SargeMaximus]

F*ck! What's wrong with you? People say I'm the one who over analyzes! lol. I've said time and time again, if she says she has a boyfriend, counter with something like "So do I" or "well I'm not jealous" She'll laugh REALLY hard and the next time you see her, she'll RUN to you smiling. It works for me.

Bottom line is who gives a f*ck what the woman is thinking or is doing? This isn't a mine field, it's just what YOU are doing or NOT doing, that's it. You're placing too much power in the woman's hands bro. She tells you she has a boyfriend and YOU give up. How is it HER that blew it??

And now, to make matters WORSE, you think she'll give you permission to f*ck her if you can feel sexy! It's all the same tune! If I do X, I'll get Y. Please. When I think of a woman sexually, sure I notice her response, but mostly it's because I want to be able to be comfortable with my sexuality because it makes ME feel good, not her, f*ck her. If I'm doing things to please women in the hopes of getting some, what does that make me??

Seriously.

[JackOfHearts]

You are going overboard Sarge.

[athanas]

very insightful post, dan. I feel like having done a couple of rounds pstec myself just reading your post.

It's as if you removed some of my blockages just by sharing the insights you got from clearing so I don't have to clear it anymore.

[SargeMaximus]

You are going overboard Sarge.

I don't think so. In fact, I think it's Dan that went overboard with his MBA thesis paper up there.