06-08-2016, 11:29 PM (This post was last modified: 06-09-2016, 06:53 AM by Kol.)
Thanks bro, just writing out my thoughts,
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More then one women suddenly contacted me and it overwhelmed me yesterday. Right now its slowly being overcome. Its exactly these thoughts and feelings that fill me that cause me to feel like shit and confused, while at other times this doesn't phase me at all. I feel an surge currently coming up. guess its an GSF kind of thing. Doesn't matter.
I'm not like their boyfriends. cocky attitude is back.
Time to hit the gym ( day 8 )
Validation seeking ( not the right word ) is shifted or becoming re/aware in being an sexy mofo. Its an integrating belief now, yet doesnt cling myself on anything. Seeking external results is an lacking in the end. People actually bend over to notice me, Its like I can count 1,2,3,.4. I know I´m sexy as fuck, but really, do I really need to get attention from older people? lol. Guess they're lonely or something, I dont know. No dicking from their partner maybe.
Edit1: All falls in line with myself,. have written down some point system and chapter system for op coming book, including tactics, introspection and tactics to dissolve blocks, strategies and approaches, im growing more sexy and hot by the minute. Still, there is an deeper owning possible of my reality. There are slight dips but right now all is in line with myself. There is nothing I can't do. Also discovering more interests and tying in, creating some sort of hybrid system from different sources. Also, subliminal als an part of work>? yeah. Ironic haha. My mind feels hot and wild with ideas right now. brain storming. All will happen. I will make it happen.
Edit2: I'm feeling intensely confident, euphoric. My voice fills the whole room, and yet I am detached from it. Its utterly mindblowing right now. This women I spoke to showed massive IOI's, neckrubs, mesmerized eyes, lipbites and licks, smiles and qualification when I pointed out her missing glasses "is this better?" I also seem to lock on sexual body parts as of late, like, its turning me on and people just seem receptive to it.
memory of open an 4 set. guys didnt do anything, girls wentg giddy and trying to over qualify eachother. I dont care, am unfazed at all now. IOI's are daily happenings.
Words have power and can be mastered. bringing in certain remarks can cause an seed of doubt be planted as an side effect. mastering words to trigger emotions works. Some stuff that guys do cause them to sabotage and mess up. Im feeling stable in this, almost slow and calm, collected and frame stating. less smiles all around, rather an strong sense of being Alpha. It's being unshackled more and more. I begin to see how people say that these subs cause them to become incredibly high value in a way.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
06-09-2016, 11:22 PM (This post was last modified: 06-10-2016, 01:04 AM by Kol.)
Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel regarding confused an messed up feelings, feelings tied to monogamy, its raher an sense of independence, playfullness, cockyness and direct action taking in an euphoric way, confidence being victorious over gsf, cocky arrogance and primal dominance. I'm not sure if it is state shifting that is happening, but I can only be dominant and when an girl wants/tries to take the lead its rather funny and amateuristic in my eyes. Right now I feel the sub working on and I'm getting more and more zen, at ease, stable, congrugent and confident. ( day 9 )
stage 4 is an enourmous beast, self reliance and choice mixed in with SM lead in and much more.
ps: I seem to cause sexual feelings in women. Had another women yesterday basically go all sexual extravert like some sort of online orgy or whatever haha. Just playing on it.
Read an journal online stating you don't need to pass shittests at all. lately I seem to ignore them totally aswell but know I can be more dominant in that manner, more "bad" and not giving a fuck.
stronger seductive draw in frame, like an magnet and euphoric agressive presence, totally unhinged. I'm absolutely sexy and a 10. Absolutely and truly.
having more tension and other feelings surface. Experience more some sort of energetic field around me, yet feeling somewhat separated form other people. Also boundaries in terms of I snap quicker at people who push in traffic and become pretty much agressive and hostile
Making strong eye contact yet still at times avoid it. When i do its being present and looking straight through their eyes, almost being an raw force like this girl at my gym.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
06-10-2016, 06:05 AM (This post was last modified: 06-10-2016, 10:03 AM by Kol.)
Mindset of not approaching but being the king in this. Let them come to me, I am the prize.
Also, earlier stages did focus strongly outward on things like business and flow, and momentum/continuüm and work ethic. Now the sub is somewhat slowing me down and focussing me to focus more strongly on self-care, bodywise and grooming. I'm pretty solid currently and nothing is blocked out. It rather comes together. Concentrate your forces. My frame feels incredibly solid currently, tense even.
edit1: dont overanalyze ( credit to Chaosvrgn ). play and forget./ All falls in my zone, all gravitates in my zone and feeling sexy as hell but so much more then that. Also, no need to seek validation but being playfull. Being called names is invitation for escalation and playfullness. I can choose to remain unreactive, or escalate massively. Its like being seductive and playfull, dominant and owning it/her.
No need to report this, just go with the flow. no apologizes. Just being sexy as hell. This state allows to rapidly accelarates massively. I'm already alpha.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
06-11-2016, 02:31 AM (This post was last modified: 06-11-2016, 01:36 PM by Kol.)
Attachment to the concept of limiting beliefs is still an attachment. All beliefs are questioned right now out of playfull curiosity. Taking an step back. The focus on limiting beliefs is the paradox of the limiting belief. To be overtly attached to this concept also puts an certain weight to it, while its all playfullness in the end. This realisation dawned on me by watching RSD Tyler/Owen Cook about the approach of women as being nice and stuff/mean and evil.
Experiencing massive build up, tiredness, which eventually somewhat breakthrough and causes me to just be. I swing them over to massive euphoria, cockyness, confidence and high energy. Something that I'm still getting used to it, or so I belief, as it is dissolving currently and only moving forward and upward.
Dreamed about sexmagnet. I'm seeking the challenge and am just doing it. calibration is also something more solidifying. In the end its like an river, being alpha and the such. I realize now and feel somewhat overwhelmed with an slight sadness but own this from an loving perspective. Like an shimmering essence.
Feminism is an unnecessary concern. AM's internal focus. It doesn't change the dating game at all. If so, I remain unaffected. I'm secure in myself to seduce through presence and eye contact.
Music also seems to activate my root chakra in certain ways. I can be very tired, but one song seems to trigger some primal stuff in me, causing me to become very leading, dominant and sexual, aswell as disregard everything but setting my frame with all falling in. If not, its of no concern.
many random flashbacks.
Push/pull. Not going all out at once but holding the frame. By keeping it minimal the tension remains up. It also show character. Teasing and at times denying things instead of being free giving pleasing. pleasing isnt equal to neediness, it might aswell be an way of dominance without giving an fuck. An healthy detachment. Makes me more attitude-ish. Like, knowing you own her in that way yet unafraid to lose or anything, simply because it doesnt exist and puts the locus of power back internal. Im getting really decisive now and just doing it. flow.
Feeling slightly predatory in my needs currently, like I hunt for those in my direct environment in an way. Not denying my needs in that, like "i need multiple bedpartners"but will not castrate or whatever for taht matter. another limiting thought and feeling crushed.
Powerfull and secure, reduction in fear, shame and guilt, tho some patterns are still there aswell as some beliefs around some stuff such as relationships and what not. Something deep ingrained. Will dissolve long thew way. right now I feel myself already moving beyond everything, some strong attitude and temper around everything, an certain sureness.
I'm gravitating more towards chaos and raw nature/life. My carelessness is increasing aswell around certain stuff, almost anti-social. The sseek the chal;lenge programming in its ways. testing the waters with 100% conviction and urge/impulse. urgency.
Agreements and certain reactions from me I begint o detest. Like, |I'm pointing out what irks me and its just urgh, Definitely change. As if on the Crossroads and all is burned, changed, abandoned. My value getting to high.
reduced urge to write/journal.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
06-11-2016, 11:53 PM (This post was last modified: 06-12-2016, 04:04 AM by Kol.)
At times having slight doubts surfacing but knowing damn well the sub is working. No expectations.
Relation models and LTR thinking from an honest perspective.
being just present currently, no thoughts, an shift in being/existing. Nothing. Just I am.
getting approached by another guy at my gym, he kept talking about some people having the power and being born with it, kept praising my definition and what not, how my body is good as it is but having 10kg added wouldnt be something to bad.
Didnt want to go home at all, jsut being zen, existing,d riving, being in public.
fear clings to fear.
many beliefs are illusionairy and false, such as approach fear. The inital spike is short.
Im pretty mixed up currently and my whole external view is massively shifting right before my eyes. I can;'t comprehend and just let it flow.
Experienced some sort of oneness with my environment, beyond seeing the environment as my own. It was clear and speaking for itself.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
06-12-2016, 07:13 AM (This post was last modified: 06-12-2016, 07:15 AM by Kol.)
I can do anything I want. By being so alpha you can take on anything you want, being unshackled and free. Lots of resistance today and feelings of becoming to high value for current "relationship" stuff. Massive conflict in it. ( day 11 )
Watching some videos on masculine energy, it knows where its going. Also, im becoming more empty (?) like more zen and just plain beaming through my eyes. It might be another transition but whaever. My time is precious.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
Dreamed about death and violence and my dog who has passed away some times ago, including the moment that all stops. Woke up with dread and confusion but feel som e profound shifting happening. Feekling more sexy and something deep is being dealt with and coming over. Recognizing this gives an strong sense of power and all comes together. ( day 12 )
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
Indifferent and lighter becoming. stuff is making sense right now and I'm in state, I'm again growing more. Also, change in choices of writing down. only positive now currently. Some stuff is shed along the way. More freeér feelings.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
06-13-2016, 06:48 AM (This post was last modified: 06-13-2016, 10:01 AM by Kol.)
people feel compelled to re3spond in my presence. I notice aswell behaviour in other people that they stand closer to their girl, as an sort of protection mechanism, kind of treatened sense.
getting comments on my fragrance, people greet more easily, some woman gave the biggest smile when I lewft my groceries at teh roof of my care, told her to give it to me while staying in the car. had the biggest smile on her face.
Lots of fears coming up and doubts again, unable to shake it. Its where my attention goes to but it is overwhelming at times. also watching some RSDtyler stuff but know the locus of control lies within.
currently open, present, dominant and thoughtless. Women are all in my environment, playing their hair aswell as its like Paradise around me. other times im antisocial bordering harsh rude and like an rock, annoyed by people peoples behaviours aswell, as it annoys me. static almost. Eye contact improves further.
having some mayor fears still going around wanting to release them but sacrifices will be made along this journey.
State transferance is a thing suddenly. Also realizing the sub moves way beyond pick up.
Abolish all limiting belifs. become like water. empty. ASlso, shedding nice guy stuff is an fear thats being dissolved. There might be an retraction from interest, but shedding actually makes me more `rough`and enhances sexuality. no shift in standards, but rather an shift in something more primal.
Freefall currently, dying. Not knowing what will end up as my new being. All other stuff in this journal is former, right now im transitioning. I want to let everything go. Everything is being let go. Going internal.
feeling somewhat savage.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
06-13-2016, 01:18 PM (This post was last modified: 06-13-2016, 01:25 PM by Kol.)
Massive boost in confidence currently and feelings sorted out more and more. Massive GSF and inhibitioons are lifted now. Listening to some caveman stuff from RSDtyler, shit is funny. I´m also beyond frames. Tested it by assuming some `personalities"as an experiment and this is golden, such as mystery, owen cook and what not. The sub is pure self development in an fluid way, keep changing, developing, moving forward, upward and what not,. My will is law at this point., fucking dominant.
Subcommunications, high value, eye contact, presence, body language, vocal tonality, social callibration, which is great practice with current girl. Like, I;m constantly testing boundaries but know I'm at times take it personally still and yet, I own this stuff up to myself. There is something currently changing. I like the tribe leader imagery of being an king caveman having multiple women currently. Also, the fears and inhibitations that were triggered seem to be dissolving even further now.
This reality is mind, the rest is all part of this jungle, this kingshipm, this tribe.
Its an whole other shift now, like, being alpha, self developing in an ongoing theme, deeper at its core and essence. Like an stream of water yet dominant. I also understand that seeking for external signs may even be something lacking from inside. I'm still catching up with this. letting it all gravitating towatrds me yet not setting walls between. become rather formless and boundless.
Also honesty instead ofr pushing certain things and fears. Like, sticking to an imagery instead of letting the sub unfolding. There are still fears going on in my being. being honest with myself and these painfull things that surface. rather relaxc and get through with it, Breaking down need, this need to "be this/that" and thus covering these feelings/experiences.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
06-14-2016, 12:51 AM (This post was last modified: 06-14-2016, 07:23 AM by Kol.)
Resistance all over, transitioning, not knowing who I am. progress. Also, feeling so tense, can't make eye contact which shows it through other peoples way and how they treat me. Basically very asleep and my subconscious wanting to escape and trying to throw massive tantrums now and fights. Makes me think about Robert greenes death ground stuff. Discomfort is actually valuable. I dont belief in the whole comfort thing and seduction in that manner, tension and an taste of danger keeps things alive.
More resistance at work.
Realized attraction is freeflowing something and feeling zen now, paradoxial and feeling sexy as fuck. beliefs are lifted now. People turn heads, aswell as seeing all people as an connection point to the point its like an magnet drawing to eachtoher. euphoric, floating.
Girl at the store gave me the blue eyes and smirk kind of look, beautiful eyes, cute. Feeling my value and status rising.
Noticing opposite patterns. I'm not feelign this and that"brain: turns on light switch and become socially savage and ravening.
Strong reactions at work about being told to do shit, subconscious goes with its heels in the sand.
More present instead of being in my head and an upfollowing trend. Thoughts of being, flowing, living instead of journaling.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
06-14-2016, 10:57 PM (This post was last modified: 06-14-2016, 11:28 PM by Kol.)
Not caring if girls come or go in my life to an extent, yet disrespect is an no-go, I'm way less concerned when she doesnt respond or what not or is delayed but respect is paramount, I envision this as an open relationship kind of thing yet will not refuse to call out. Its an change and shift, not some beta who goes all concerned but an understanding and non-attachment. I'm not going to flip over it or anything because I KNOW I am attractive. I know girls come in my life and might go, having their own life and I myself have a life of my own. Also, having sex multiple times with several girls for reference is my current mindset. Leading is crystalizing more, such as tking her by the hand, dance, dominate, neg, freeze outs, push-pull, rewards etc. Its finally dawning on me that I held an to "evil"kind of frame towards freeze outs, instead of being playfull with an mix of dominance and an hint of danger yet also being approachable in that way, guess there are some serious ( moral? ) convictions residing in my subconscious.
Watching some video´s from Matador is inspiring. His frame and demeanor/aura is really telling, like not giving an fuck, no responsive and maintaining frame. His whole attitude is an massive goldmine to learn from. Again, I am changing and priortizing my time better. Also, slow down, its boosting dominance and frame. Slow movements show an certain level of control and confort, talking quick shows nervousness. Talking slow gives power to my words and enables playfullness.
Internal changes keep happening and it is like water thats keep renewing, mainly internal work.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus