04-22-2015, 06:40 PM
(This post was last modified: 04-22-2015, 07:00 PM by Why So Serious?.)
Stage 1 Day 2
Missed a day so It was more that a week. Hope I didn't mess up my results. :/ I'm doing the best I canto listen for 12-14 hr. So far so good and I'm already feeling the sub working. Last time it took ten days. I don't know if it's because of listening hours or running it once.
Anyway I'min a bad mood but the difference this time around is that I feel really strong and centered on the inside. It makes me wonder how I ran it last time without this feeling.
I apologized to someone for getting an attitude earlier that day. They starting joking saying that I must have been sick. Then they asked later why the apology all of a sudden. Apparently I have an attitude most of the time. To make matters worse I didn't know.
I'm working on it but I may need help with that one.
This job is really bringing out the worse in me as well. Now a coworker has really starting flirting a lot more. This upsets the boss because he likes me still. I thought he was over it. I didn't like him in the first place. Now whenever he sees me and the coworker he starts cockblocking.
Between the flirting and cockblocking this is really getting on my nerves. If I wasn't in such a bad mood I could laugh about it. Maybe later.
I am trying to learn some new job skills but once again I screw that up. Being lazy and procrastinating. It really grates my nerves to study for anything. It just feels extremely daunting, challenging, and incredibly painful for me. Even today while studying at work every 20 seconds I was thinking about something else I could do. At the same time I kept thinking if I could focus on getting this done how I would be using my full potential to learn. I always knew I had it in me, I just need to figure out how to get over feeling like I'm stabbing myself in the brain. I'm just slowly going along till then. Feels like I got an inner war going on......seriously.
I guess the only good news is that a part of me wants to learn. Before AF I wouldn't even want to learn. I would rather waste time. Also I memorize what I learn faster. I guess my memory isn't as bad as I thought. I wonder if the sub has any maximum learning speed in there. :p
Oh well that's it for now.
Missed a day so It was more that a week. Hope I didn't mess up my results. :/ I'm doing the best I canto listen for 12-14 hr. So far so good and I'm already feeling the sub working. Last time it took ten days. I don't know if it's because of listening hours or running it once.
Anyway I'min a bad mood but the difference this time around is that I feel really strong and centered on the inside. It makes me wonder how I ran it last time without this feeling.
I apologized to someone for getting an attitude earlier that day. They starting joking saying that I must have been sick. Then they asked later why the apology all of a sudden. Apparently I have an attitude most of the time. To make matters worse I didn't know.
I'm working on it but I may need help with that one.This job is really bringing out the worse in me as well. Now a coworker has really starting flirting a lot more. This upsets the boss because he likes me still. I thought he was over it. I didn't like him in the first place. Now whenever he sees me and the coworker he starts cockblocking.
Between the flirting and cockblocking this is really getting on my nerves. If I wasn't in such a bad mood I could laugh about it. Maybe later.I am trying to learn some new job skills but once again I screw that up. Being lazy and procrastinating. It really grates my nerves to study for anything. It just feels extremely daunting, challenging, and incredibly painful for me. Even today while studying at work every 20 seconds I was thinking about something else I could do. At the same time I kept thinking if I could focus on getting this done how I would be using my full potential to learn. I always knew I had it in me, I just need to figure out how to get over feeling like I'm stabbing myself in the brain. I'm just slowly going along till then. Feels like I got an inner war going on......seriously.
I guess the only good news is that a part of me wants to learn. Before AF I wouldn't even want to learn. I would rather waste time. Also I memorize what I learn faster. I guess my memory isn't as bad as I thought. I wonder if the sub has any maximum learning speed in there. :p
Oh well that's it for now.
