Alden attempts EPRHA (36d) ⇌ STM+OAAM

[alden]

Day 15
STM (75h 0m)
DAOS2 2nd Run (21h 51m)

Day 15 of NoFap. I'm overwhelmed by tasks, and yet I'm having more and more plans. I'd like to raise at least $15,000 and travel around the country practicing my game. My PUA mentors are doing well in their games. G*****, the one I accidentally met in the national capital last month (Day 8 f EPRHA) just posted a lay report with a really hot chick. Phil from 1000 miles away is mentoring me through Facebook messenger. We all started on equal footing last year, and now, they are my mentors. They're in their early 20s. I'm in my late 20s. I have to hustle.

I promised Phil that I will practice my game yesterday. I didn't have much time though. So after I did my workout, I went to the game location at 8 in the evening. Sets were very scarce. I approached just one tall elite-looking woman, and she just ignored me. I went to two more locations. I saw no gameable woman there. I won't let these things (and them) stop me.

I went home and sent Phil this message,

No report today. I went to ******** after going to the gym. I realized I chose the wrong location. Arrived there at 8PM, went to three different locations. Sets were very scarce. Approached a tall elite girl just to give a compliment. She just ignored me. Approaching a walking woman in front of her, as you walk to the opposite direction, isn't a good idea. Tried it 3 times. If the lone set is an elite-looking woman, she just ignores me. If she's a cute teenager, she steps back, seems afraid.

This was the way I look. Green v-neck. Unwaxed hair. No accessories. Jeans. Casual shoes. Closed-lip smile. How do I improve this?

Thanks bro!

He lectured me for about 20 minutes. And gave me an assignment, which I'll tell you later.

[alden]

Day 16
STM (75h 30m)
DAOS2 2nd Run (26h 21m)

We're outside the mall. It seemed she just ended an important call. She's not a very beautiful woman. I was there to practice my game. So I went near her, very near she kind of freaked out. So, I stepped back and apologized. Then I asked her, "Is there a jewelry shop near here?"... "What kind of jewelry should I give to a 19-year-old woman?" She smiled... "How old are you?" She's 18... "Where did you buy that bracelet?" I pointed to her wrist... A little jokes, then somebody called her again. She said, "A moment, Sir". But it will make me look like a wimp if I wait for her. So, I ejected the scene saying, "I'll see you again". Should I've waited a little?
My vocal tonality was quite soft at that time.

The second woman I approached wasn't far from the first woman in terms of looks. She gave me a neutral reaction. I made the same indirect opener ("Is there a jewelry shop near here?"). Then I found it hard to switch to showing intent/interest. Besides, I'm not attracted to her. I ejected from her fast.

But the third woman was a bit attractive. She's got a nice body. She seemed alone, looking for someone. I walked past her and then a meter away, I said, "Excuse me!" Her face had no reaction whatsoever. I did a situational opener, "I just got curious, are you a dancer?" Same vocal tonality as my previous 2 approaches.
ME: I have a friend who's a dancer. She's got the same body as yours.
HER: Yeah, [I'm a dancer.] (Then she looked at her phone.)
ME: What do you dance?
HER: Hip hop, like that.
ME: So, why are you dancing? What do you get from dancing?
HER: I feel happy...
ME: Aside from dancing, what other hobbies do you have? (I noticed she's not giving me lasting eye contact.)
HER: Wait a moment. (She smiled secretly, but I saw it.)
Then, she turned away.
Two women have already told me this same statement, "Wait a moment". And I didn't know what to do next. If indeed I waited for a couple of minutes, that's not good to see. I ejected the scene.
P***** told me, "'Wait a moment' is one excuse women use to get rid of you."
Phil said, "First, you don't change topic that fast. Connect with the woman! Second, you should've used this opener, 'Excuse me! You know what? This is random. I noticed you and got curious. Are you a dancer?' And that's the third point, you're doing something weird, and you don't want the woman to see you as weird, so say it first, 'I know this is random/weird'. Finally, if a woman shows you signs of disinterest, call her attention, neg her or playfully tease her with a strong frame."

P*****, my wingman, eventually came. We moved to another mall. He saw a lone woman, which he finds attractive, walking. He told me to approach her. I did... but the distance was too close she just ignored me.

When we went inside the mall, I saw the same women P***** and I approached last week, most of them are shop employees. Through their glances, I knew they could still recognize us. Moreover, it's not easy to approach people without being noticed because the walk spaces were too narrow. I had an approach anxiety.
I approached an ugly woman outside the mall. She's a nanny, waiting for a relative. We had a small talk. We laughed together, gave high 5s, shook hands (I noticed her hold was too weak). I ejected the scene.
P***** said, "Forget that approach anxiety!"

I tried to approach a cute hired gun in front of a musical instruments shop. She looked haggard, and it seemed she knew what I was about to do. When I came near her, a big tall guy suddenly stood beside her. Then I did an indirect opener, and I ejected the scene.

My wingman told me to approach again a woman he'd approached earlier. I went near that woman—but too near! I became self-conscious after I noticed that the sales clerks who were talking to us earlier were surrounding us. Also, the spot was very close to the security guards. I said, "Hi, you're cute..." The distance between us was very near. She ignored me.

I also approached a cute staff inside a department store. "Excuse me! You look familiar. Did you work at ABC Fastfood before?" I was serious. She really looked like one of my co-workers way back in my college days. But this one's obviously younger.
HER: What branch?
ME: Branch X.
HER: Yeah, I worked there 2014-2015.
ME: If that's 2014-2015, you're not the person I'm talking about...
I ejected the scene.
P***** said, "You leaned in too much. Keep your chest comfortably out. Also, don't put your hand on your waist."

P*****, my wingman, tried to game a woman standing at a jewelry stall. I noticed that the jewelry stall's sales clerk looked nice as well. I approached her with this opener, "What do you think is my friend doing?" We talked a little. Some fluff. "So, you're just 18?" I asked after she told me that she stopped her studies to work.
HER: No, I'm 20. (She's smiling. It felt good to talk to her.)
ME: Let me guess, are you studying accountancy? How about teaching?
HER: You looked like a photographer. (She also played the guessing game with me.)
We continued talking. I was intentionally parroting her body language. It's effective. The women respond better if you mirror their body language.
P***** came to us with his set. They were laughing. Before we left the girls, I gave my phone to her, but she refused to put her number there. She has a boyfriend. I did not insist. High 5. Shook hands (her hold was also weak). Eject.

Finally, while P***** and I were discussing the results of our game, some college student passed by us. I called her attention, "Excuse me! You're cute. I'd like to meet you." She smiled, but I didn't notice it. "I'm in a hurry," she said meekly.
P***** pushed me to her, saying loudly, "Go near her!"
He told me later, "You should've ignored that shit. That's a token resistance, bro!" He must have lots of reference points to notice such subtleties. I still can't see it easily.

[alden]

Day 17
STM (75h 30m)
DAOS2 2nd Run (26h 21m)

I relapsed this morning. It was my choice. That's okay. I set another goal, which is, to stop masturbating for 30 days. I know I can do it, and with STM, it's so much easier.

Lately, more and more clients and potential clients are coming to us. The problem is no longer "We need to have more customers". The problem now is "Can we cater to all these customers?"

I worry that my reputation as a good businessman falls every time my team members do some messy job. However, it seems I work very lightly at the moment. I don't focus on solving every business problem that comes along. I always delay the solutions until the last minute.

Whether it's a good or bad thing, I don't know. Life is still comfortable at the moment, and I have other things—game, gym, blogging. I'm doing my best to perform all my tasks, contributing to the attainment of my missions in life, in a balanced way.

[alden]

Day 18
STM (78h 0m)
DAOS2 2nd Run (26h 21m)

The seemingly unbearable urges to masturbate came again, but I've handled them well. There's not a lot of interesting things to report this morning.

It seems I'm becoming lax about my morning routines. That's not good. I committed myself to instate these morning routines. I have to do something about it.

I lack sleep today. I spent about 3 hours last night, writing an article with the theme, "The masculine man is meant to be SELFISH", which I know won't do well with female, nice guy and religious readers.

I'm going to buy a silver watch today to improve my avatar. I'm going to practice my game again tomorrow, alone. It's a commitment, with money at stake, to game at least 3 days per week.

[alden]

Day 19
STM (78h 30m)
DAOS2 2nd Run (29h 5m)

I would say I've done my 3 attempts to game this week. But I'd be honest, I've lost momentum. I felt terrible a while ago. I was inside a mall. There were women there. I knew I could approach them, but I didn't. I couldn't understand why that was happening. Then I felt bad, negativities sinked in. I should've attempted to prolong the little conversations I had, but I didn't. I should've shown sexual intent, but I didn't. I lost my courage. Without courage, there would be no confidence. Without confidence, there would be no inner game. Without inner game, what life is that?

I feel like I couldn't face my wingman and my supportive new friend. They'd be so disappointed. I fear their criticisms. Yeah, I have fears. I gotta fix myself and put my state back to momentum.

But how did this happen? How did I lose momentum?

1. I started that bad habit of postponing my game last Friday. I should've gone to some location. I told my wingman about that. But I didn't. I was tired.
   
2. My eyes hurt. I've been using an expired contact lens, and it irritated my eyes. How could I show a fun aura and a "Don't give a damn" attitude to the woman if I got no control over my eyes' expression?
   
3. I don't have enough energy, the result of introvertedness and being lax about my morning routines.
   
4. I'm creating not just a few bad habits that derail my game practice. Stop them!
   
5. I was thinking too much! Too many shit!
   
6. I've entertained anti-pickup views, by watching anti-pickup YouTube videos. They're infecting my mind unknowingly. What else? I've lost my mind's focus on the game, by immersing my thoughts on global politics, hence entertaining negativities. Stop it! If some ideas prevent you from doing what you've committed yourself to do, ban it!
   
7. I masturbated, hence, reduced my horniness, which is the source of my inner drive to get this area of my life handled.
   
8. Negative thoughts. I need to find a way to gather positive thoughts again.
   

At the root of all these struggles is my expanding ego. Ego is that thing that deals with how other people perceive you. I noticed that my ego expands when there are many people around. Fuck that ego! Curtail it! Having this virus program is not working for my best interest. It helps no one...

[alden]

Day 20 STM (78h 30m)
Day 1 OAAM (7h 42m)

There's another change in plan. I dropped DAOS for Overcome Approach Anxiety for Men. I believe I need this program more now. I will stick to the 4G instructions and will listen to it for at least 4 hours per day for 32 days. If during solo gaming, I still can't easily approach women I want after that, I will ask for refund.

[alden]

This thing works! I approached 5 different sets this afternoon: one with a guy, 2 walking ladies, a 16-year old cutie, a tall boutique staff, and a young nice looking staff in an electronics shop. I was direct in most of these approaches, showing romantic intent. All responses were very positive.

My wingman was amazed. I'd been doing a better game than him. And now I feel, he's treating me like an equal. Great! Everything's great! I'll keep using it...

[alden]

It's been a while, I've stopped listening to subliminals for, say, 2 months. Speaking of game, I have improved significantly. It's now easier to take female strangers on dates. Speaking of my body, people no longer see me as skinny. But it seems to me that I have not accomplished the exact goals I set for this year (2016) though, whatever those are, I couldn't actually remember most of them.

I now have mentors in the game and in business, which I should be grateful for. I mostly got their mentorship for free, but of course, I am convinced that I have to give back some form of value.

I have less priorities nowadays. But still, masturbation stirs some turbulence on my days. I still find it hard to manage my time well. The other problem is Facebook, it's such a time waster. How can I stop wasting time on Facebook!