Alden attempts EPRHA (36d) ⇌ STM+OAAM

[alden]

Day 4
STM (35h 8m)
DAOS2 2nd Run (5h 56m)

I am studying the game again, but this time, I hope, more intelligently. The game is how you work on becoming a better version of yourself, so I see nothing wrong with that. And as you can read from my journals, I rarely use the word pickup to refer to that. The game shouldn't be used as a tool to deceive or manipulate women. It's a new perspective.

Recently, I posted a series of articles about masculinity and heterosexual relationships on Facebook. So I assume, people know I'm doing this. I'm unveiled, no longer working underground. There's no more reason to hide to them.

I suspect, it was EPRHA that made me less personally compelled to go back to gaming.

After more than 3 months hiatus, I don't expect much from my own game. In fact, I expect the opposite, lots of failures. I'm exploring how to make it part of my lifestyle, just like going to the gym which I just recently turned into a habit. I do hope though that sooner or later, I'll arrive there, someone who's got huge chance to attract and be intimate with the women he likes.

[alden]

Day 5
STM (40h 47m)
DAOS2 2nd Run (5h 56m)

I woke up today at 6 in the morning. At last! After about 6 months, my sleep time has gone back to normal. I did my morning routines: (1) washroom; (2) water, supplement, brush, face care; (3) meditate, gratitude journal, visualization, exercise; (5) journal writing; and later, (6) to DO list review and (7) most important task.

I'd like to share what happened yesterday. I found a new wingman near my place. We're gonna start approaching tomorrow (Monday). I'm preparing for it, I mean, I'm preparing how to be a good friend to him and how to be a good wingman. When it comes to approaching, I don't expect much but I'm going to implement a structure, which I will work hard to master.

I believe I have completely overcome my oneitis at this point (there was a dream last night where I saw her, and we were strangers). And I'm no longer needy to any girl's positive response. So, hopefully, I'll have the fortitude to make this lifestyle last. Also, I now have a life—a business to take care of, daily routines to execute, clear goals and a life purpose. I also no longer care what others think of me, hopefully (we'll see).

I don't plan to talk too much to that new wing. I don't know what's his purpose anyway. And I don't know how good he is. I believe one of the reasons why my game was so chaotic last time is because I talked about everything and listened to everyone. I took even unwelcome criticisms to heart. This time, I will be close-minded, and I know that word has a negative rep, but I believe that's what I need right now. I will listen to no one, except myself, my mentor, and probably my wingman (and only, when I ask for his opinion). Less talk and more action, hopefully.

And since it seems I already took this sub journal as my own personal diary, this is where I'm going to post my progress. I will do this alone, no need for anybody's validation. That's just not manly!

On a side note, I went to the national capital yesterday to buy some protein supplement for my workout. When I got off the bus, I saw a funfair. Suddenly, 4 different colors popped up in my mind. The last time such thing happened was 2 months ago, I saw 9 different colors in my mind, and then a funfair where I bet pennies on those colors and all the 9 bets won. (The 10th bet lost... And don't think I'm doing this often—I'm not a gambler.) So for fun, I bet the cash in my pocket on those 4 colors and luckily, I had a skilled laborer's day wage in less than 10 minutes. I got home... Oh Luck, how can I learn more about you!

[alden]

Day 6
STM (47h 33m)
DAOS2 2nd Run (7h 56m)

"You're 28? I thought you're younger than me!" said 26 year old P*****. That was the first of the age-related comments he raised during our conversations—conversations I didn't really want to hear. I wanted him as wingman, someone who can join me. I wanted us to be approaching, not talking.

The security guards cut our approach and after I made up an excuse why we're there, they busted us and told us to leave. He suggested another place. I said, "I prefer not to game in that area, I'm quite known there."

Then he said, "You're 28, when will you ever come out?"

And later, "Tell me what's your plan in life."

Before we parted ways, he said something like, "It's gonna be Christmas soon, we're gonna be older."

This guy's so talkative. My age isn't an issue until I met him. I prefer not to entertain such concerns though. If age is his problem—which I don't mind—let it be his alone. I just need to perform, and perform well. Game is the constant condition!

On positive note, he's quite good at pinpointing my mistakes. I wasn't able to implement my plan to practice making approaches automatic. My vibe's too calm, too serious, often. I need to improve my vocal tonality. I didn't leave enough space between me and the set.

He's also quite pushy. He said something like, "You know, getting the number is basic. The more advanced stuff is getting the girl to reply to you." He told me to do an n-close before we left another mall. I wasn't able to do that.

Worse, he's gaming me as well. I see that! He's parroting my body language whenever he talks to me. This may not be the most convenient wing I'll have, and it's always good to be aware what's going on around. He might be sizing me up, and found me lacking. I need not be a fool to not notice that. I need to game him as well.

He told me some of his conquests, and that's a lot. I'm gaming with someone who is much better than me, rather than equal. And he's got expectations I feel like I have to fulfill. It's hard to have a wing like that. But taking this pressure positively, I'll never rest! ("You're 28 man!") I need to propel my game forward.

[alden]

Day 8
STM (47h 33m)
DAOS2 2nd Run (9h 56m)

I made the mistake of running EPRHA instead of STM and DAOS for one and half hour, so in the morning, negative thoughts creeped in. I heard my mind repeating, the world is unfair! and thoughts related to it.

I assume that my wingman, P*****, is really gaming me. Is that bad at all? No! I had several wingmen before. We didn't game each other, and some of the relationships turned sour shortly. I personally think that if I want to keep any person or friend for a long time, I have to game them. He's got the same belief. He told me that aside from his women, his family and his friends are all influenced by his game.

He came late to our meeting place for the second time. I won't allow him to turn me into that pal who always waits for him. When he texted that he's already in the landmark I told him to go, I made him wait for a little.

As usual, he talked a lot. We bounced to 2 other locations for his errands before we rode a public vehicle to a mall in another town.

He said, "Let's have a plan."

I told him that my goal for that day is (1) train myself to make approaching automatic and (2) get number-closes, which I failed to do yesterday.

I asked him about his plan. He said, "I'll just enjoy the moment." He said having such goals will only put unnecessary pressure on myself. He has a point though, but in my case, that could be the best excuse not to approach.

A few minutes inside the mall, I approached a walking teenager who seemed alone. As soon as I told her, "You're cute." She called her mother who I learned was walking behind her. Such a bitch! I ejected.

P***** approached a cute saleswoman in a cosmetic stall. He stayed there for like 40 minutes. I then became alone. My negativity trickled in. I was socially paralyzed. Inside, I was scolding myself, warning that if I don't do my game, I'll never improve!

I knew where such negativity was coming from. You should not allow those cockblock guards from yesterday and your first rejection today to stop you from achieving your dream! You've spent a lot for this—time, money and effort. You've sacrificed a lot! And if you don't get good at it, I see no point in your life!

That went on for like 40 minutes, until I thought that if I keep walking and putting mental pressure on myself, I might get too tired and hence make my game worse. So I went to the massage chairs and made myself relax for 30 minutes. P***** found me later. He's also tired, so he also had one for himself.

I knew he noticed my state at that moment, I'm an open book when I'm emotionally struggling. He gave me a friendly warning, "Bro, if you won't approach, you'll be a chode forever."

I don't like being pressured by anyone, but that's the same thing running on my mind. Sometimes, hearing another person say what you already know will blow you up.

I tried again, 2 or 3 sets passed with my hesitations hindering me to make a move. Then I approached a group set around a table in the mall's canteen.

"Are you guys looking for a job?" Then I pinched a portion of their snack. They smiled and laughed.

"I'm a director, I'm looking for actors to star in my movie," I assumed they know I was joking.

Long story short, I flirted with them—3 young girls aged 17—for like 20-30 minutes. I saved myself from being a chode forever, but I sucked at that game. They gave me their Facebook accounts though.

It seems, there's a certain amount of pressure that leads to improvement. Good results often come at the verge of being desperate. You stop thinking and just go there and put yourself on the line. You've got nothing to say but you open your mouth and some words will eventually come out, and then another, then another.

"Why did you approach us?" the target asked.

"I'm looking for a wife." They all laughed. And that's my first time expressing intent on the first encounter. "I thought, if I know you more, I might get interested in you. Let's hang out sometime."

Mind you, the phrase "looking for a wife" has the same connotation as "looking for sex" in our language. They're giggling.

I'm negging them, they're negging me. There's attraction, but not too much.

I leaned in, I appeared needy. P***** came in. He said nothing. But he appeared more valuable than me. The other girl was attracted to him.

So that was 6 hours, including time spent waiting for P*****, travel time, walking purposelessly, having massage, P***** talking (I told him, "I believe you'll improve more if you spend more time approaching"), and the actual time spent gaming. I hope I could optimize these resources next time.

I had 3 approaches. I accomplished the goal for n-closes, but not the training to make approaching automatic. I saved myself from being a chode forever, but there's still a lot that needs to improve.

It's good that P***** was there to notice my mistakes.

• I gave the set a chance to think (which should not be), so they asked if I'm doing some kind of game on their minds;
  
• The set thought I was lying, I didn't, I was kidding;
  
• I mentioned the word "I'm kidding" more than enough;
  
• I leaned in more than enough, I was the one initiating the conversations, and that made me appear needy;
  
• The jokes are low value;
  
• They thought I was gay because I often spoke in English (few guys here can speak good English and many of them are effeminates);
  
• Need to improve my walk;
  
• Need to improve my vocal tonality;
  
• Need to keep my face from being oily;
  

So that's the game for that day. I spent the rest of the night in the gym.

[alden]

Day 9
STM (55h 33m)
DAOS2 2nd Run (11h 9m)

Yesterday's a bit lax. I did not go out. I stayed home and did my morning routines. I was also able to do some of my most important tasks. But I could've done more if it weren't for the distractions—Facebook, procrastination, etc. Time isn't my luxury, I need to learn how to effectively manage such time-wasters.

I'll surely improve in game, I have no doubt about it, cus I'm serious on this area of my life now, and I'm tactical in my approach.

My being a virgin isn't a secret here, I had chances to lose it before but I didn't because it was my choice—an "ignorant choice" I'd say now. I remembered I haven't even tried using a condom down there.

Part of the distractions I met yesterday was porn. Some app brought me to some porn and I watched them for 30 minutes, approximately. The interesting thing is I watched them with this kind of attitude, Oh, that's interesting, rather than Oh! This makes me horny (but I know, I am). It seemed I was looking at it in an intellectual way.

Suddenly, I thought, In case I'd lay a girl this month, will I be able to use that right? So I took a condom (it's in my drawer for a year), watched a How To video, stimulated my genital 'til it's hard, then I put on the condom—that's easy. I looked at my dick, kind of admiring it. It's bigger than a lot of men's in many porns I'd watched before. I kind of murmured, You're not limp and will never be limp, father of thousand! I removed it from my dick, and then I slept. I didn't cum.

Before, when I start to touch it, there's no way I'd stop without ejaculating. Now, I feel I'm in control of my libido. This sub's amazing in this way.

[alden]

Day 10
STM (58h 44m)
DAOS2 2nd Run (11h 9m)

I unexpectedly met a schoolmate from 9 years ago. Some fluff. He's married, and that's the first thing he asked me—how many women have I had. I got uncomfortable with that question at first but I managed to say, "I'd like to have three at the same time". They laughed.

Some fluff again. I said, I stayed in a remote area for 5 years. He asked if I had a girlfriend there. I said, "Yes, but she's a minor".

He suggested why don't I date some of our former schoolmates who are still single. I don't like that idea. I didn't say a thing.

I thought I was famous. This guy couldn't remember my name. He's actually with his wife, not that nice-looking but a woman in every way. We talked about some other subjects—priests and guys who dedicate their lives to single-blessedness.

I said, I had a good chance but I didn't take it. I also mentioned that most of those single-blessed guys we know are gays. He seemed to have agreed.

Anyway, before I left the restaurant. I asked him if my body grew in any way since the last time he saw me. He said, "Nothing's changed, but you got a little taller". Fine! It seems my time spent in the gym isn't showing dramatic changes, particularly, for this pal.

[alden]

Day 11
STM (58h 44m)
DAOS2 2nd Run (13h 9m)

P***** and I went out yesterday. I'm gradually seeing parts of his attitude that I do not like. He's pushy. He's acting like my mentor. I don't like that. I want it to be a relationship of equals. He may be better than me already but I'm executing my own process to improve, and he's got nothing to do with that.

I'm not comfortable gaming women inside one mall near my place. But he wanted to go there, "Plenty of pretty faces!" While we're walking, he saw a pretty saleslady and approached her in a snap. The woman was hooked, gave her number and texted him later. After walking for a few minutes, I told him, "Let's go now," because that's not the place we agreed to go for our game.

He saw a pretty teenager standing beside the mall entrance. He told me, "Approach her." I said, "Not here, bro." He looked at me seriously, "Approach her! I will curse you." This guy's acting alpha. I don't want tension between us at this point. That might happen later, but for now, doing what he wants won't hurt. So, I thought, I can approach any woman without sexual intent. So, I walked to that girl, greeted her, told her she's attractive, asked her what she's doing and shook hands.

He was satisfied. (Bullshit!) "You'll be really good, man... I see you'll be a really great pickup artist." (As if I want to be a pickup artist. I thought, he might just be doing some "push-pull" thing on me—criticize first, praise later. But anyway, believing in such positive comments is more beneficial to me, so I'll be pragmatic this time. I choose to believe him.) Then he gave his criticism, "Even at a distance, I could see that your vocal tonality was bad." Did I hire this guy to give immediate feedback after each approach?

My game had no good result that day. I approached seven women I like. I couldn't snap their attention, so they kept walking. Some just ignored me. I also got cockblocked by a girl's friend. As P***** said, "Your vibing is not good, man!" I agree. I wasn't able to condition my mind to exude energy before we went there. And up to this point, I still don't know how to do that effectively. Will affirmations work? Will subliminals work?

There are weak points in my game that he kept on noticing,

• Chest out, 90 degrees chin up, walk as if you're the most attractive man
  
• You speak like a gay!
  
• Improve your style, cus if I'd grade you right now, you're Failed
  
• No problem with inner game, all you have to fix is the outside
  
• You keep jotting down notes, stop, analyze your game
  
• Don't touch your wingman's shoulder after ejecting the set
  

I told him that on Sunday, I'm gonna game with some pal who is the same level with me, more or less. He gave me some good advice, "You know what? At this point, you should game with guys who are better than you (I wonder why he's gaming with me) because you'll get infected by your friend's approach anxiety (I wonder if he's thinking I've infected him, just like those other wingmen who love to blame). When you game on Sunday, focus on yourself, not him."

I actually told him that same advice earlier—"Sometimes, you have to leave me alone and push for your own game." In his apparent interest to see me improving, I wonder if he's actually derailing my progress. So often I deliberately leave him to do my thing. But he looks for me, saying, "Bros before roses". I assured him, "If you find a set who's willing to be laid by you now, you gotta forget me." I had fewer approaches compared to him. And in my mind, it's because there's not a lot of women there that I like. Mark Manson said something like, "Stop approaching women you're not interested in". Such might be good practice for many pickup artists. But in my case, I'd be wasting my time and the women's time as well.

He was busted by another saleslady in a dress shop. His face got red. That's the second time I saw him being overly reactive (the first was when he talked for 40 minutes about the guards who sent us away on our first day). In my attempt to make him feel better, I told him, "That's alright bro, in fact, I've been waiting for such thing to happen to me." (I shouldn't have said that.) He found a reason to bounce the stress on me, "You shouldn't wait! You said you're gonna make many approaches, right? You do it!" He's mad. Fortunately for me, I've made my inner game thick enough to withstand such attitude from a wingman who's lost his mind. (I forgot to tell you that just before that, I cursed him, with the best vocal tonality I'd use for cursing. It feels good when you curse someone on his face genuinely. Why did I do that? Because he asked for it, "I'm angry, curse me!")

You might be wondering why my posts are more about my wingman rather than the interactions I had with the girls. I might post more about that later on, but for now, this is where my attention is at at the moment. Peer pressure truly affects someone's game, and often, people stop gaming because of an ill-treatment from a co-gamer/s. I don't want that to happen to me... again.

He joked, "Have you eaten peanuts?" I didn't get it. He repeated that around 10 times. Shit! He's talking about pussy. Slow!

For my last approach, he made me approach a smoking UG (ugly girl). I didn't like that. But well, he's so mad there'd be less harm giving way to what he wants. As I said, I don't want to form tension between us at this point (that might happen later on, when my game's better, when I'm more capable), so I have to manage these complicated power dynamics. I did approach the woman. He watched me.

Before we parted ways, I told him, "Do not be late next time", laughing. He might not have taken that constructively, cus I heard him murmur.

[alden]

Day 12
STM (58h 44m)
DAOS2 2nd Run (21h 51m)

It wasn't in my plan to go back here and write in this journal now. I wanted to know whether or not my game will be different if P***** isn't around.

There's this other wingman who texted me a few days ago, inviting me to sarge. Let's call him Chiz. He's a newbie, and I'm the one who introduced him in person to some members of our local PUA community.

I told him, "Let's do it next week". It may not be a good idea to have him around while I am learning with P*****. There would be three of us then, and if I really want to focus on improving my game, two wingmen—one of whom is strong and the other weak—may not be easy to handle.

However, I didn't see positive changes in my game during my last time with P*****. I have not yet achieved my goal for the week, which is seriously practice making approaching automatic. I have one day left, and that is today. I wonder if my game will be different with another wingman.

I texted Chiz two days ago, this time, I was the one inviting him to sarge with me. He seemed cheerful. But I noticed that he wanted to sarge with other pickup artists.

Knowing game and the Laws of Power, as well as observing him in the past, I could assume that he's just being polite with me. He's that guy who admires and respects great PUAs, and I'm not that PUA. If he'd be honest, he would've said, "I couldn't sarge with you only. You're no better than me. I won't gain anything".

Anyway, I told him, "At the moment, I can't get other PUAs to come with us. I just want to know if we could make it a habit, say, once a week. Can we do that?"

He said, "Of course, we're partners, right?"

I set the time at 11 in the morning, he agreed.

The next day, however, Chiz told me that another PUA, who I previously introduced to him, would like to join us. I know that he sees this other PUA better than us, and he expects that he's improved a lot more since the last time we met. Let's call this other guy Jomel.

I have a problem with Jomel though. He's young and idealistic, insulting, backstabber, and vague with his motives. I don't want to sarge with him this time. But since they've already talked about that, I said, "It's fine with me. We can start sarging at 11AM. Then after 2 hours, let's go to the location Jomel prefers."

He was happy. I told him, "I'll do my best to arrive on time," to which he replied, "Me too".

So I prepared everything the night before. I bought a new outfit, which cost me $43—such an investment!—washed them and hanged them outside to dry.

This morning, I was ready to meet him, so I texted him that I was on my way. That's 30 minutes before the time we agreed to meet. He immediately replied,

"Bro, you can go there first. We're just gonna go to the Church. I forgot to tell you I'll attend a christening. I'll see you by 3PM."

That moment, I'd like to curse this guy. He doesn't respect my time. I suspect, he's just made up all these excuses after he received my message. I just had more reason not to treat him as a serious sarge buddy. Besides, it's becoming clear to me that this talk shit only wants to kiss Jomel's ass.

Looking at it positively though, I'm glad I now have time to go to the gym today, write in this journal, and probably, write two more articles for my blog.

Everyone's gaming. Just look around. People fool each other, deceive each other, in their attempts to get the better slice of good things for themselves. You can't be 100% authentic to everyone around you. Always ask why they treat you in ways they treat you. Always think about the motives behind everyone's actions.

[4Kingdoms]

He doesn't respect my time.

I've ended many associations/friendships for this one reason alone.
My time is valuable!!

Usually they want me to "bend" my schedule to accommodate their schedule. I work nights, so I sleep in the afternoons. I can meet anyone for breakfast or brunch.

Example:
"NO, I want to eat dinner! Let's go around 5 pm. By the time we are done, it will be time for you to go to work." So I go to work sleepy and irritated that I was manipulated.

---

If you are worried about losing a wingman or a friend.
Get over it... find a wingman/men or friend(s) that respects your time!!
Your time is valuable!!

[alden]

Day 13
STM (66h 44m)
DAOS2 2nd Run (21h 51m)

I've ended many associations/friendships for this one reason alone.
My time is valuable!!

A man's time is the most valuable resource he has. We can't afford wasting time. In my case, disrespecting my time amounts to offending my person. I decided to leave that pal for good.

He doesn't even follow the Bro Code (Bros before hoes). He postponed our plan again until 4PM. When he told me he's ready, that's the time I rode a van. He said he's on his way. When I arrived at the game location, I started approaching immediately. I was able to get a responsive 2-set and built some comfort with them. But I needed a wingman to push further.

Then I received a text message from him,

Keep gaming bro, I just had an unexpected date. I got off the van and will meet her in time. Let's just post some Field Reports.

Fuck you! That's the deciding factor. I need to get rid of this piece of shit from my life. Goddamn, my reaction affected my game! So I had to leave the girls to chill out. I got silently mad the entire night.

If you are worried about losing a wingman or a friend.
Get over it... find a wingman/men or friend(s) that respects your time!!
Your time is valuable!!

In the meantime, I just have one steady wingman. I'll find a way to grow my network of manly game buddies, preferably, those who follow the Bro Code.

[4Kingdoms]

Then I received a text message from him,

Keep gaming bro, I just had an unexpected date. I got off the van and will meet her in time. Let's just post some Field Reports.

**** you! That's the deciding factor. I need to get rid of this piece of shit from my life. Goddamn, my reaction affected my game! So I had to leave the girls to chill out. I got silently mad the entire night.

Not sure what he was thinking? Obviously he didn't respect or value your friendship.

---

While I understand your response, it's too bad you let it ruin your night. Normally I usually suggest you have a backup plan. Which you did... you decided to game and not wait around for him to arrive.

---

Look up NLP - neuro-linguistic programming and learn how to make an "anchor" to quickly move you out of that "angry silent state" and into a "happy and motivated state" to keep your game on!! Or figure out an emotion that works for you and "anchor" that emotion so your night won't be ruined when something unexpected angers you.

[alden]

Look up NLP - neuro-linguistic programming and learn how to make an "anchor" to quickly move you out of that "angry silent state" and into a "happy and motivated state" to keep your game on!! Or figure out an emotion that works for you and "anchor" that emotion so your night won't be ruined when something unexpected angers you.

I've read some book about NLP before. But I'm a little ignorant how to apply it effectively on myself and on the girls. I'd like to learn it. 4Kingdoms, would you suggest some program that's easy to implement and wouldn't take so much time? Thanks buddy

[4Kingdoms]

I've read some book about NLP before. But I'm a little ignorant how to apply it effectively on myself and on the girls. I'd like to learn it. 4Kingdoms, would you suggest some program that's easy to implement and wouldn't take so much time? Thanks buddy

If you search youtube for "anchoring for confidence" you can use that example for any emotion to "anchor" for whatever situation works for you.

Some instructors explain it better than others and you might have to watch different videos.

Books are informative. I learn faster from observation. That's why I recommend youtube.

[alden]

Day 14
STM (73h 7m)
DAOS2 2nd Run (21h 51m)

Done! My NoFap goal is complete. The longest streak I had prior to this was 14 days and that was last year. Now, I've completed 14 days and I still don't feel like masturbating anytime soon. Loss aversion? Placebo effect? It doesn't matter! I paid $24.5 dollars to break this habit, and I'm willing to pay more if that's what it takes to improve my life.

As secondary effects, I became more productive. I'm working out regularly. I went back to gaming. I now have better inner game. My business is doing well. Friends who'd like to support my goals appeared, and I was able to figure out the bullshits.

Speaking of friends, I ditched that pal who flaked me last Sunday for good. Fortunately, somebody else came along. It will be a long distance friendship, but he's quite good at game, and it is his passion. Phil agreed to help me improve my game from a thousand miles.

I made myself accountable to him. So today, I have to practice my game in order to produce a report which I will send to him later.