Alden attempts EPRHA (36d) ⇌ STM+OAAM

[alden]

Day 1 (10h 30m)↑

I decided I'm going to try EPRHA until December then I'm going back to AM6 again, where I had lots of resistance. I don't expect much from this sub though. I played it as a background music in my apartment. I then took the guitar and played 3 songs. I realized I sang them well. Then I went to the bathroom where I kept singing, took a bath, changed clothes. I sat down in front of my computer, logged in to an online course which I failed to attend for a while. And there it is, I felt exhilarated. EPRAH has been running in the background for 2 hours this time. I felt so happy, and I didn't know why at first. Probably, it's the EPRAH, just probably. It's a good day. I have the mood expressed in this video, though I don't understand Chinese.

[Bliss]

Enjoy the ride!

[alden]

Day 2 (21h 5m)↑

I decided I'm gonna spend the night awake finishing a paid online course which I failed to attend for weeks. It was midnight, and I know I felt hungry, so I walked out of the house, rode a public vehicle to find a restaurant that's still open during that hour...

I found a really nice restaurant, with good food, good music and good ambience. I told myself I'm going to eat here more often. It's rare that I feel this way. It feels so relaxed, as if I am spending my life travelling the world's best places, like a nouveau riche. I feel so carefree.

There was some new music played in the background. I appreciated them. I could forget the world and just be so absorbed in the sounds. The world eventually felt like paradise.

The mood in the following music, though its different from the ones played in that restaurant last night, pretty much resembles the feelings I had then. (And note that this music has no lyrics, because I only care about the melody.)

[alden]

Day 3 (35h 35m)↑

Whereas I'd been unusually euphoric throughout most of the two days past, this one's a bit different. I felt ignored, insecure, tired and irritated at some points during the day.

There were some flashes of unpleasant memories of a woman I previously fancied... It wasn't a good feeling.

Generally, however, I perceive an overall sense of peace around me. But that's lacking for it lies outside. Such peace doesn't cut through the deep recesses of my mind where I could still feel incompleteness.

Tonight, I found myself alone walking along one of this city's main roads. The roads here are beautiful at night. There are no cars, no people, no noise except for the cool breeze that gently touches your skin. Somehow, I asked myself Is there any way I could still improve this man's life?

I love this solitude, I love this serenity, I love and appreciate this midnight sky... It reminds me of a lovely village dawn I'd seen before, probably in my mind's eye...

[alden]

Day 4 (43h 35m)↑

I probably had more than 8 hours of exposure to this sub yesterday but I can't be so accurate because my count up timer stopped working.

I have some problem in my business today. One of the people who works for me quit after a client paid for her services. Worse, I don't feel motivated to work on anything.

Some part of me shouts that I can't afford to be so passive in my life while my competition are so active working on their careers and relationships.

In the game, there's this mantra we say whenever one feels so low that he just doesn't feel like approaching women, "Just do it!" And that's what I think I should do right now. Stop the sluggishness and just perform even if I'm not motivated.

I read an article, written by a woman, saying that to overcome a crisis of confidence―that is finding so many excuses not to do what you want to do―you need to go back to your "why". Recall all the reasons why you need to perform and relate them to your most cherished values. In my case, recalling my "why" makes me so angry, and though it worked well in achieving my goals when I was younger, operating life fueled by anger is so taxing on my part this time. I now want to live with more neutral and positive feelings, rather than be so driven by negative emotions, such as anger.

Anyway, I'll now start working again...

[alden]

Day 5 (54h 12m)↑

I fapped a lot in the afternoon, though I wasn't horny. I got tired seeing my computer screen hanging so many times and I had nothing more interesting to do, so I lay on my bed. I wasn't sleepy so eventually I started fapping. It was late in the afternoon when I got up and told myself that I need to do something productive.

Suddenly, I got interested in the idea of monitoring as many areas of my life as possible—money, time, subliminal training, habits, emotions, weight, workout, nutrition, etc. It seemed I was positively interested in that idea. I even thought about starting a website dedicated to tracking every area of a man's life. I was a geek, so I know that monitoring my finances, though not easy, is possible. I did it for 3 years or so, and those were my most prosperous years financially.

So today's the start. I'm going to monitor all such areas, and probably, I will post here some of the charts this project might generate. (I know, it's geeky. It's just the way I am.)

[alden]

Day 6 (64h 12m)↑

As I said in my previous post, I started tracking down everything I could track about my life. At this point, everything is still easy and manageable.

To help me track my finances, I overhauled my Money Lover account. The app is cheap and is doing quite well for this purpose. I am also tracking my time, so I downloaded aTimeLogger again. It's a really good app and is free. I could use it to track my subliminal training as well, but since I prefer to use a separate app for each area, I decided to download a different count up timer for my subliminal training.

To help me log my strongest mood per day (for sharing on this forum), I paid about $2 for the full version of Mood Log. I also need to track my calories and proteins, and Diet Diary is doing quite well on this. To help me track my chosen habits again, I moved Rewire to a spot on my phone's screen where I can easily see it. The good thing is they all sync so I'll have backups in case my phone encounters a problem.

Today, I was visited by a friend who loves cycling. We went to the nice restaurant I mentioned on Day 2. Then we went walking for 30 minutes or so, talking about politics, some acquaintances and our college days. At midnight, we watched Forrest Gump, and there I saw some scenes which are quite close to my initial experience of EPRHA. Here it is,



My friend doesn't believe in EPRHA though, I let him hear the free version in my room. Then after telling him my wonderful experience with it, he told me he doesn't feel anything.

[alden]

Day 7 (71h 12m)↓

I joined a stock trading game. I now went back to analyzing stocks, after almost a year. I had less emotional discipline then but I was earning money. What more today?

My business is encountering some problems. I don't have enough people to cater to our growing number of clients. I need to find more people to join our team. My colleagues are having difficulty communicating instructions to our clients, because they speak different languages. These are things I need to solve within a very short time, plus I also have to ramp up our marketing campaign.

I also quite worry about the debt I incurred last month. Generally, though, I feel peaceful today.

Perhaps, I should also mention that I got horny and I fapped today. No big deal.

I have to sleep now, 'cause I'm meeting someone tomorrow, some guy who wants to teach me dark magic. I don't know if I should believe in it, but anyway, that's still an experience.

[alden]

Day 8 (79h 37m)↑

I went to the country's capital. It's a big and highly populous city. I had to meet a wiser friend who wants to teach me some dark magic. Let's call him S****. He's the same friend who introduced me to subliminals. I also had a favor to ask him, so I took a 3-hour trip to get to that city.

Before we met though, he texted me to take my lunch first. So I went to a KFC, ordered some food and sat at a table facing the train station outside.

Then I saw a familiar figure riding the escalator. He is G****, one of the respected pickup artists in the country. It's indeed a small world, I haven't seen him for more than 4 months. He saw me as well. Through gestures, he let me know that he's going to call me in 2 hours.

Later, S**** and I met in a coffee shop. We stayed there for almost 3 hours. We discussed subliminals, dark magic, pickup arts, some common acquaintances, investing and business. It always feels good to have some friends with whom you can talk about such topics deeply. He also transferred to my hard drive more than 200GB of books, audios and videos about such topics. Now, I have a lot of materials to organize.

After my meeting with S****, I immediately went to another coffee shop where G**** would meet me, as he said through phone. There he was with a lipstick mark on his cheek. He had a woman before I got there.

I told him I was actually hesitating to see him because I've not approached or gamed anyone for months. Moreover, my game hasn't really improved after months spent sarging regularly. He told me what's been up with his life lately, and told me that I'm one of the few people in the lair who he considers a friend with whom he can be honest about anything. He's happy to see me.

I told him I've been hesitating to contact the other PUAs, and my priorities have changed lately, but I don't want to quit gaming, though it's one of the least of my priorities at the moment. I asked him a favor if he could somewhat be my mentor as I no longer want to share my future games with everyone in the lair. That meant I'm getting value from him, so in return, he told me that I should help him explore the ideas he's planning to put into his book. We took the deal.

And there we started discussing his game ideas. It took us 4 hours to finish the drafts of two chapters. He tested a structure he's written with one of the women we found there. We spent the last few minutes brainstorming ideas on how to be an effective PUA. (The truth, however, is I no longer consider myself a PUA, though I'm glad he took my ideas as basis for a vlog he's planning to produce.)

After that, he asked me to shoot a sample professional vlog of him and take photos of us together. We parted ways.

As for me, this day has been a 9 of 10 in richness but 4 of 10 in positivity. I'm glad that I met these guys, especially G**** (our encounter was so unexpected it made me think of it as a sign that I should go back to gaming). I felt awkward though that I acted beta male in front of these guys.

[alden]

Day 9 (94h 50m)↑

Shits have been following me since yesterday, and it was raining. I felt really negative. And I fapped. And I spent hours reading a senseless book, which I started after seeing this big spider, which in Voodoo tradition is a sign of hope. (I don't know how did that get inside my apartment, but I gave myself a chance to be superstitious.)



Then I spent more hours watching pathetic scenes of my country's politics. So, I'm now considering to block YouTube in my browser.

I can't focus so much on anything. Perhaps, I should stop masturbation. Let's start that today.

In terms of satisfactoriness, the day has been a 2 of 10, which isn't pretty. I'd keep this post short 'cause I don't want to talk about negative things.

[alden]

Day 10 (100h 47m)↓

There's something I really want to put in here. I drafted it twice but the thing is every time I am about to post that experience here, something happens. Either the software I'm using will crash or the file will be lost during transfer, so that narrative wasn't able to make it in here. It's not my brains's job to remember the details of my own experiences. What happened had happened. Time is precious. I'm not going to allow my obsessive compulsiveness bring me to spend time and effort rewriting a lost manuscript.

[alden]

Day 11 (107h 24m)↓

Things are getting unmanageable. I need to reinstate my priorities. For this year until December, my priorities are the following, in no particular order:

1. To finish this 96 days EPRAH subliminal training. For 2 days, I saw that I wasn't able to have enough listening time. The habit is breaking here. I have to do something.

2. To finish all my online certificate courses. Only 2 days are left before the most important course I'm taking is going to close. I've been so lax on this course. I still have to finish 40 or so chapters. If I finish them on time, I'll consider it an achievement.

3. To grow my body by 20 lbs. I started physical training on the first week of September 2015. So far, I've only grown 5 lbs at most, after a year. I hope to grow by 15 lbs more until December. I haven't been working out for a while. This area needs more attention.

4. To ramp up my game, kiss another girl. Since it's unlikely that I'll be able to lay a pretty 8, at the least, within this year. My goal is to simply setup the structure of my game, and hopefully, to kiss-close a pretty 8, at the least. With the help of my mentor, I know I'll be able to do the former, but I've not been going out for months, so the latter, if ever it happens, will be accidental. I'll put more serious attention on daygaming next year. (Most lair members have become despiriting influences for me—either they've turned to become validation seekers or value takers who, not really caring about others, talk as if they always know better with or without a good game to back them up; delusional pushers; fake praisers; or simply "you can't do it" type of guys—so I decided to distance myself from them except for one or two.)

5. To stabilize my business operations. My initial goal was simply to hire my first employee by early 2017. I was able to do more than that prior to 2017. Now I have 4 part-time workers actually working. If I'd be able to have a full-time employee, my business net income reaches $### a month, and my business operations attain a state of automaticity before the year ends, I'll consider this goal achieved.

6. To learn to bike. I have a biker friend who's going to help me on this. I'll buy the cheapest good bike I could afford and practice with him at night, because the roads here are just so good at night.

6 MITs are enough.

[alden]

Day 12 (123h 29m)↑

I found out that with a cup of coffee on my table, I can finish any online course . Actually, I haven't drunk coffee for a long time because of my parents' influence; they're Mormons and Mormons hate coffee. It's such a useful substance however, I'm enjoying studying online now. With this, I think I'll be able to finish all the online courses I subscribed to—business, investing, nutrition, languages, etc. It's about the right time to upgrade my vault of useful knowledge. Who knows, I might as well get my MBA online

This day's overall mood is a positive 6 of 10

[DisneylandUSA]

Sounds like you are seeing Progress. Keep it up; Glad you are finishing up the 'online class.' It shows that you have Perseverance.