09-07-2016, 11:08 AM
(09-07-2016, 09:53 AM)chaosvrgn Wrote:(09-06-2016, 09:03 PM)RTBoss Wrote: Last post, then I gotta hit the hay for real.
I've been having blasts of love welling up within me, a few different times while holding my son, another time while looking at my wife when she was nose deep in a book, and another while holding my favorite cat. Overwhelming blasts.
Yep, having the same effect. Pure gratitude and happiness for just living. I'm getting this weird, slight headache that comes and goes, though. Only when the euphoria hits.
Yeah, I saw that. I wonder if anyone else is getting it.
I sure could use the euphoria you're getting. I feel like I'm in a cocoon of resistance. I'm changing deep, and I want to stay in the house while it's happening. I haven't ventured out but to get drive-thru since starting 2.4. I'm going to have to do it soon, but everything in me is keeping me home. I'm tired, short-tempered, and experiencing waves of depression. Along with the depression has come a feeling of loss - specifically with women. I'm finding that whatever is killing neediness/giving an IDGAF attitude others describe is leaving a real hole in me. I didn't realize how focused I've been on using women as a day-to-day distraction mechanism from whatever problem I have with my feelings of satisfaction from all other areas of my life.
No interest in going to the gym, mowing my lawn (which needs it pretty bad), and I seem to be doing the least I can/have to do to get by right now. I'm looking forward to napping while my son naps today. If I didn't know something deep was going on directly related to the sub, I'd feel like a real loser right now. But if this keeps up, I'm going to have to explain to my wife what's going on. Not sure she'd buy any of it, though.
This is gonna be a deep experience. I just told myself, while feeling this undesirable state, that "this too shall pass." I wonder what's on the other side?
