About's WM2.0 Journal

[Shannon]

First, my apologies to About for hikjacking your journal. I didn't realize this was someone else's journal to whom I was responding at the time I started.

Second, primarily, I got my point across in a way you understand, Sarge, and that was the goal. There's a few points I'll respond to.

People judge me as being unimportant all the time because of my body type. But I'd say my brain more than makes up for that, and using my brain, I have found ways to access all the eggs I could ever want access to. I choose not to access the eggs of all the females I have available to me in that way for various reasons, but that's not to say I could not if I chose to.

This is good. You've certainly done well for yourself.

The point is, have done well for myself by being honest and owning my choices and reality.

Humans among all the animals have the potential to be whatever they choose to be. That means you can choose to e nothing more than a gene slave sperm donor animal... or you can rise to your full potential as an intelligent, wise, understanding creature which happens to be focused through an animal body in order to experience the limitations of the physical world.

The sex drive is genetic, and emotional, and in both cases primarily ruled by the subconscious, which never rests. So you must control it while you are conscious, or it will control you. A man who is slave to his sex drive is not a man, but a slave and an animal, seeking to express his genes any way possible. He is not a leader, because he is a slave. That is low value, and that is why desperation chases away the women.

I agree with you 100%. Perhaps you mistake my drive to get good at dealing with women for desperation to have sex with any woman I find, which is not the case.

I think I was making that mistake.

Genuine self control is as powerful an attractant to women as genuine self confidence. As a case in point, I know a woman who is interested in me who I have had sexual access to three times. Three times now, out of the five times I have been in her presence, I reasonably could have had sex with her. And yet, even after she took her clothes off and laid down on my bed and even spread her legs for me - two different times - I did not respond by having sex with her.

Did I want to? Yes. But I controlled myself, because I used my brain and I knew that it would cause problems. And what is the result of my self control? She wants me even more every time I refuse her. Whereas it was possible with great effort on my part the first time, I now have her doing everything but forcing me. She comes to me, she takes her clothes off without being asked, she offers me sex in whatever way I want it. Why? Because I demonstrated concern for her well-being in refusing her, and mastery of my animal instincts. She now knows I am a leader, not a slave to my sex drive, and that I am more concerned with her well being than just getting my dick wet. So she trusts me, and I now have free access to her sexually whenever I want it.

This is an important story to remember to be sure. However, my mind cannot yet distinguish between no sex from a woman who desires you and no sex from a woman who does not. To me, it's all the same. I'd rather skip her and go for a woman that I find attractive, who is both available sexually (be she married or not), and can keep her shit together.

The difference is that I chose who did or did not have sex with me, and when and where. Not her, and not my gonads. Big difference in the long run.

I think having sex with a woman like the one you mentioned who told her lunatic husband (who then pointed a gun in your face) about your affair is a bad idea, even if she were single. Such a woman is trouble regardless, and I have no problem staying away from those kinds of women.

Had I known she was going to do that, or had that propensity, the likelihood of me having sex with her would have dropped off to zero. I was horny, but I wasn't looking to get killed.

I am not just out for me, and my own pleasure. I am out to help her, and my sexual desires take a back seat to that because I know that having sex with her would only hurt her. Even though she expects to be treated like that by men, and would continue to welcome it if I used her for my selfish sexual interests.

I am controlling my animal body, and I have MORE sexual access because of it.

Again, to me, you don't. What you have is a woman who wants to have sex with you, but you have put a barrier on her because you've deemed it unwise. Which is understandable. My thing is, why not just count her as a "no fly zone" instead of saying you have sexual access to her?

Oh, but I do. You have completely discounted that I can have sex with her whenever I want now. The future does not equal the past. As long as we are both in a situation where we are open to having sex, it can happen. I may not take it, but my access is there whenever I want it, probably for years into the future.

I mean, if it was me, any woman I decide isn't worth the risk of sleeping with is a woman I'm not interested in and is a woman I "can't" have sex with. There is no access there because I don't want it there anyways. Does this make sense?

Burning bridges isn't very effective. Just because she's unsuitable NOW, or unavailable NOW, doesn't mean she will be in an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year...

Like and love are very different, as are love and *****.

Well, that's certainly one opinion.

Go look up the definition of opinion. Then tell me that a disctionary has value because it is opinion. Then go look up the definitions of the words love, like, and fuck.

Honesty usually only antagonizes if you are lacking in tact, or you are dealing with the wrong people. Those it drives away are those you don't want to be dealing with regardless, if you're being honest with tact.

That's it exactly. No tact. What is tact and how do I learn it? I'm a blunt instrument. I've known this all my life. I used to love it, you know, being brutally honest and having people become repelled. I used to like it, because no one else stood up for themselves or "owned" what they believed in. But it has gotten to be too much. I don't want to change what I believe in just to please someone, but I find myself heading in that direction, so I gotta find the middle ground.

So you need to learn how to think like someone else then. Put yourself in her shoes, and think in terms of what she is experiencing. Then adjust your approach to match what she would be comfortable with, respond well to, and so forth. It's important to understand female psychology for your society, her body language, be able to read vocal cues, facial cues, and interpret her actions. You have to learn to understand what her personality is and how to interact with it.

One thing I can share is that I have noted a significant correlation between certain body types and their ability to handle "no tact". The ones who handle it best in females are the tall athletic ones. Then comes the tiny petite ones. It's not a hard and fast rule, but it's a good rule of thumb.

Again... choose what you want. Choose to own your desires. Be honest about it. Own the truth and the reality of your choice, and refuse to back down. Let the chips fall where they may. I didn't learn this from a book. I learned it from being sick of playing the lying game with women. There's no way to win that game. The only way out is honesty.

Honesty with tact though, yes? I gotta learn the tact man, where can I/how can I?

As I said above, tact is the art of understanding how to adjust what you say and do to be comfortably received by the person you are dealing with. To do that, you have to understand the person you are dealing with. Barring that, the general rules of tact are commonly called "good manners".

For example, I'm getting so fed up it's like this. Let's say a girl approaches me and I'm feeling sick of games and lies like I am right now. I'd flat out tell her: so... let's go to your place.

And, if she gets annoyed or whatever, I drop her like yesterday's news. Simple, and blunt. But, I assume, no tact.

You also have to deliver the punch line at the right time. Too fast, too slow, too early or too late and it's game over. That means you have to understand what she's thinking, and responding with, and how she's thinking, and why.

Your job is to lead her to the place in her own mind, body and emotions in which she is ready, willing and able to do what you want to do. To do that, you have to understand her and work with her.

Just because marriage is unnatural to a human's genetic instruction set does not mean that the mind, emotions, upbringing or beliefs cannot override those instructions and make monogamy or marriage a genuinely desirable thing for that person or couple. Not everyone would be miserable in a state of marriage, nor would everyone be miserable with every option for whom to marry. You're looking for excuses to justify your desires to disregard marriage as a valid obstacle to sexual access with a given woman.

No, what I'm saying is, deep down there's a human woman under that married girl. If that "creature" (if you will) wants to have sex with me, and she expresses her desire, then I have no problem going for it if I desire her as well.

All humans want, at some level, to have sex with every possible mate. My worry is that you're not going to "meet her half way", but actively seduce her into sex and then claim that "she obviously wanted it too", when she may not have been in full conscious or logical control of herself after her sexual arousal was up.

I had a girlfriend or two who was faithful to a fault until she was sufficiently aroused in one specific way, and then it was anything goes. With anyone and everyone. Was fine, until someone pushed the right buttons while trying to seduce her, even knowing she was involved. She got hurt badly in the deal, and I didn't fare much better. But jackass was too selfish and stupid to know, understand or care. You have to consider the consequences of your actions, for you, her, and everyone she is involved with and caring for.

Morality is a set of rules that people in a society live by to make that society function. Morality, laws, etc. may be constructs made by man, but they exist for reasons, and often very good reasons. It isn't because they were primitive and we are so awesomely evolved now that we don't need them. Times are indeed changing, but that doesn't mean that I am going to be any less hurt if you have sex with my girlfriend when she's in a moment of weakness, or that if I was married and you had sex with my wife that my kids wouldn't suffer emotional trauma from the fallout. You're not thinking of anyone but yourself, and I guarantee you, that path is going to lead you to pain, suffering and regrets. How old are you right now, by the way?

I'll answer that if you answer me this:

Why don't you put the blame at least equally on the woman for betraying you? I myself endeavor to not care because I want open relationships, but it's always puzzled me why the man has never been angry with the woman for cheating as much as he's been mad at the other man for taking advantage of that woman's state.

You raise a valid point, and the answer is that I do put the blame equally on the woman. I have always been amazed at how guys act like she's blameless when clearly she either initiated it or at least willingly participated. That's bullshit. Which is why I have a zero tolerance policy for betrayal. I have been burned too many times with that.

Now then... your age? I'm going to guess you're in your early to mid 20's.

In fact you don't understand. The point was that I stayed alive because he recognized that I knew that what I had done was wrong, that it hurt him, and that I was hurting because I had hurt him. He id not kill me because he realized that I understood, and his rage subsided enough for him to control himself and lower his gun. I didn't surrender to the will of the universe. I surrendered to him and his judgement, as my penance for having done him wrong. There was no calm in me for days, I assure you.

What could be learned from this, perhaps, is not to **** another man's wife. Or, if you don't want to "get it", surely it is possible to let it lead to improving your skills as a liar, cheater, etc.

He showed up at my doorstep not because I brought her to my house - I didn't. He showed up at my doorstep because she knew where I lived, and told him in her fit of guilt.

I don't want to be a liar and cheater. Just like I don't want to work to make money to eat food. I could be a "good boy" and stay away from married women, just like I could live in the forest and eat game.

But, there are certain things we have to sacrifice to get what we want, as you've said yourself.

You certainly can sacrifice your life to have an orgasm, or your safety, or your health, any time you want.

The ultimate ideal (for me) is that everyone on earth is in one, big, open relationship. Maybe I'm an idealist in that regard, but I'd like to live in that world. Maybe you could design a sub that transfers us to alternate realities?

Hmmm. Your ideal and everyone else's may be a little bit at odds. Which could maybe cause some friction.

I don't want to hurt anyone either, I really don't. But sometimes we hurt people around us just because of what we believe.

And of course, choosing to ignore their well-being in order to get one's dick wet because they choose to believe and act out whatever it takes to achieve the end goal would certainly fall into that category. But ultimately, your actions are not taken in a vacuum. You impact the world, and the world returns your impact. There is no escaping that fact.

I imagine gay kids in a religious family hurt their parents when they come out of the closet. But they gotta do it man, they can't just ignore and repress who they are. Or do you have another solution?

You are comparing apples to oranges to mislead the argument away from the truth. The truth is, you have the knowledge that your actions have an impact on those around you, and wanting to get laid so badly that you change your mind and actions in order to justify actions that very possibly could hurt yourself, and those around you, will not change the fact that you are responsible for the decision that resulted in that harm. That decision is choosing to prioritize your orgasm over everything else. Justfy all you like, but you are ultimately responsible for your actions, choices and results thereof. If you disregard the well being of another, it has consequences that are not nice.

And likewise, you will learn the hard way that it is wise to follow in my footsteps and leave married women to their husbands.

Or I could, like you said, learn from you now. I'd hate to go through unnecessary suffering.

I didn't write all this because I want you to experience what I did.

I believe that you want to see what you want to see in order to get what you want however it is easiest. And as with everyone else who has traveled that path, including myself, you will find that the further you tread from the wise way, the more pain you experience. For some of us it takes longer and more pain than for others. I wish you swift discovery. And I am sure I speak for a lot of men when I say, best to hope you never succeed in tagging one of my chosen females.

As do we all, it's human nature.
Just hope they never cheat on you is my perspective. I'm under no illusions that women are promiscuous and don't intend to rule any of my girls with a leash. They can do what they want. Everyone can.

If a woman wants to be with me, she acts like it. Otherwise, she is always welcome to leave at any time. I don't try to force anyone to stay with me, and I'd rather she leave than be around if she isn't going to abide by the rules she agreed to when we started the relationship. If that includes her being sexually and romantically faithful to me, then she's not free to both play with others and be with me. So if a woman I claim was to play with you, it would simply be a case of she's not acting like it, so she's not mine anymore. I have no respect for a man who does that, but that was her choice, and my primary beef is with her.

But if you do more than meet her half way... then I have a beef with you specifically, as well as her.