About's DMSI v3.1 B Journal

[About]

Start date 12/11/16

For the first week I did not notice anything happening in terms of any kind of sexual aura of being irresistible. I guess that must mean some healing is being done.

I did notice that I was slightly irritated by people not following through with with their plans to hang out with me, but I actually dropped that much quicker than I normally do. Maybe this has to do with healing as well?

Around last week I started noticing my jaw was hurting. It was starting after working out, maybe it was holding onto tension while doing my lifts, or maybe it was because I started a new sub and it's resistance is manifesting as a form of physical tension in my jaw.

Today I just came back from the bar with my friends. I found myself much funnier and bringing up more sexual comments than I usually do. We were discussing the car karaoke of Mariah Carey's Christmas song and I immediate said "did anyone notice her breasts? What on Earth is going on there?!" I got a few giggles from that.

[About]

I've just realized, the past 3 days I have confronted my brother in a collected manner on matters where he always spews some BS about being selfish and such.

Without getting into too much detail, I analyzed all the BS he threw at me and asked him if my actions were unacceptable and why he only focused on times I didn't do something versus times I did. When I pointed out that I had been doing actions deemed non selfish, I proceeded to call the local stool shop to find him something to stand on, because OH WAIT he had nothing.

Must be the healing and clearing. It seems like this is doing more than 2 months of E2 has done for me.

[Benjamin]

Does that mean that before DMSI 3.0.1 you weren't able to confront your brother like this and be assertive?

Cool I did find that E2 made me not able to be that assertive at times, but it was just like I laughed at things. Though there was several times assertiveness started coming out aswell but not as much as i'd like.

[About]

Hmm probably? I think on E2 I was similar to you where I just laughed at things, but after on DMSI I started noticing and pointing out things that he used to complain about me and that's when it began. So basically in some cases I called him out on being a hypocrite and that was annoying to him and he told me off. Guess he didn't want to hear the truth

I think assertiveness is happening because of DMSI, but it doesn't feel aggressive - it feels like a natural reaction to a situation where something isn't sitting right and it must be addressed whereas previously I would let the situation slide

[About]

Last night I ended up increasing the volume on it again. I use presonus ceres 3.5 inch bookshelf speakers at 30% and my ipod touch at 13/15. A few nights ago I bumped it up to 15/15, and last night I increased the speakers to 50% and put the ipod back down to 13/15

[About]

Back from vacation

I ended up using acoustic sleep head phones which are headphones capable of playing ultrasonic and they wrap around your head like a headband. I was able to sleep with them which is great because we are not supposed to expose others to DMSI while we use it

I noticed things when I was around people like their constant smiles at me. I even had one very attractive, but married woman smile at me anytime we passed each other throughout the hallway for the entire week. I even said that she had such a friendly face because she kept smiling at me which shocked her because she told me that people always told her she gives off resting bitch face!

I did not notice any one hitting or attempting to seduce me. I suspect this is because there is still healing going on.

In addition to the healing, I also found myself giving out well placed compliments to women in the room whenever I could. I think that I would not give compliments before hand but with the healing that has changed.

I noticed a lot more eye contact from people passing me in the hallways of the hotel room.

Honestly lots of this weekend was a swirl of exhaustion and I just slept for 13 hours when I got back home. Thanks for reading rambling my rambling thoughts

[About]

I have been running DMSI 3.0.1A for the entirety of the time it was available, I haven't even touched version B of it. I wish I had, but I know I have a TON of junk that needs healing, a lot of deep seeded fears. I'm not going to get into that but I think it is true that we could all use healing.

The design goals of 3.0.1A were not achieved in that I did not get seduced or laid.

Onto version 3.1A. But it only came out last night! Well I've been using 3.0.1A since the beginning and did not take any recommended break, I went straight into v3.1A so I thought I would note some things I've noticed today.

(small note, I've been having a psoriasis flare up so I took benadryl last night)

I woke up feeling a big groggy. Throughout the day I felt not 100% but I was able to get my workout in at 85% of the weight I usually do and it felt good to be able to work out. From there it was to the normal Friday night activities hanging out at the dance hall.

I noticed that people were smiling a lot at me, way more than usual. It must be the effects of the new version so far.

I also felt like busting out my nice shoes - dress to impress!

It's only been 1 day, I think it's already started to effect me so lets see what the following days bring!

[Benjamin]

(small note, I've been having a psoriasis flare up so I took benadryl last night)

This is interesting. Was that after starting 3.1? Because I trimmed my beard down a few days ago and had a rash in it around my mouth which is annoying. I've had similar rashes in my hair when I cut it, but I had wondered if the energy flooding stirred something up since I still seem to have an internal issue causing this stuff.

[About]

(small note, I've been having a psoriasis flare up so I took benadryl last night)

This is interesting. Was that after starting 3.1? Because I trimmed my beard down a few days ago and had a rash in it around my mouth which is annoying. I've had similar rashes in my hair when I cut it, but I had wondered if the energy flooding stirred something up since I still seem to have an internal issue causing this stuff.

Nope, this has been happening since two Thursdays ago. Unlikely to be related, but I didn't know it was possible for energy flooding to be a potential cause of this...

Now that it's been a few more days, I've noticed a few things. People that I don't like are engaging me in conversation. It's strange because I usually avert their gaze and they are upfront of saying hello to me this time around.

In addition to that social aspect, I'm also extremely exhausted. This version seems to be draining my energy way more than all other versions and I'm sleeping way more than usual.

[About]

I feel exhausted. I just had an interaction with my friends where I left feeling drained. My guess was it has something to do with the healing?

We were having a late dinner, and it seems that I had been unintentionally heckling my friend and a combination of his work stress lead him to crumple up and be defeated. I didn't notice it and he felt bad about it, so I feel bad that I was somewhat the cause of it.

I think I just have to remember it was a miscommunication, but I can't help feel bad about not reading the signals sooner.

Edit: is there more guilt clearing in DMSI 3.1A? Or is it maybe a way for me to learn about reading social ques better?

[About]

I normally try to post things that are good, but I think I need to post things when they're bothering me.

I have been feeling pretty down, it's always about a girl. A few months ago I did ask her out and she initially said yes, but later flaked. She's a girl that's in my local community so I see her a few times a week. She's a solid looker but since she flaked on me I don't really want to continue to pursue her - but somehow I feel like my options are limited because I'm not meeting lots of attractive single people.

Anyway, I've just been flirting with her but it doesn't feel it's being reciprocated - which is why I feel down at the moment. Sometimes we have nice chats but today was overall meh.

I was also approached by a random girl - one that I did not find particularly attractive in a sexual or "I would really like to meet you" kind of way. I'll take that as a win in some way

[eternity]

I hate that feeling. One sided flirtations are ridiculous. Sounds like she enjoys the validation from you, and that's where it ends. Although I could be wrong.

[JackOfHearts]

Anyway, I've just been flirting with her but it doesn't feel it's being reciprocated - which is why I feel down at the moment.

Some girls just aren't able to flirt, just like some guys who freak out when girls are approaching them. One sided "bitchyness" is often to protect herself from relationship.

[About]

Anyway, I've just been flirting with her but it doesn't feel it's being reciprocated - which is why I feel down at the moment.

Some girls just aren't able to flirt, just like some guys who freak out when girls are approaching them. One sided "bitchyness" is often to protect herself from relationship.

Thankfully she's not bitchy, at least not to me. I can often pull her aside for a conversation without her resorting to any of the common "oh I need to go here or there" saying of evacuating the interaction.

I'm real conflicted with this one, my gut says nothing would work out with her and stop, but it also says that she might be interested. I'm still trying to figure it out