The sub changes me into an approach machine. Hesitation is dealt with even more. Made instant eye contact with an new girl at danceclasses and gave eachother multiple eye checkouts.|Did revert to old ways at dance, which was suprising as on the way to it I had massive confidence and my mind was nowhere near that, breaking one after another barrier down, turning me into pure confidence. Teased the new girl to participate into class and she did eventually,
Eye contact was still pretty solid with other people, like with 2 other girls, there is no loss in eye contact, only win win. I dont really care any longer about responses from people, another girl at dance walked in, i greeted, made eye contact and she didnt even respond. before I would be concerned but now it was rather funny.
Yesterday my heartrate went skyhigh to the point I had to take a break from listening, it was almost pounding right out of my chest so something deep has been possibly hit. My whole body tensed up, fear runned, Thought i was going to pass out and had panic sensations aswell as nausea. At work some new persons were present, and I walked automatically towards one woman and hold firm eye contact with her and shook hands. she didnt know how to handle that at all. | realized what adding value is instead of taking. Its obvious really.
My talking has more expression, the sub pushes me out of my head. Im using my hands, more expression in talking. Im comfortable, and if im not, then even thats fine. Im having an clear sense of self importance, selflove, confidence. Im curious as to where I will be after these 3 months +
My dream was clear this night. dysfunctional balance of relationship, being blown out, having conflict with some guy, to eventually grasp girls left and right, and make out with them. The dream was lucid and i woke up from the dream very confident. The girl with who I made out was shocked but gave in pretty quick. It was intense. Lots of symbolism and woke up pretty sure it was the sub doing this. It was very real. makes me even more driven
As if something felt into place. am feeling very sexual currently, not horny, but sexual seductive. After waking from the dream ( around 3 o clock, sp00ky shitz! ) i was very energized and wide awake.
The next dream was with familiarities, but this was more awkward.
Ones frame is also an subconscious communication, like being solid and an sense of boundaries. Its non verbal communication and statement. Like an "dont fuck with me" kind of vibe.
have some millionair rockstar kind of sense going on at times.
have lots of interest right now in abundance of woman and sleeping with multiple woman. Escalation is easily triggered into doing. I tend to trigger myself in frame. Other times Im totally disinterested. The dream I had has definitely caused some shift as im more certain then ever to escalate and seduce. I also have an sense that seduction is part of this, of confidence, being sexy, like an trait.
Im seeing asc being pure confidence in many ways and covering everything, almost disembodied and sheer force/confidence.
I get at times an sense of my bodylanguage, how it is different or slightly off. Right now, my mind is fully turning into action, calmth and confidence. Also lack of needs present itself more and more. Just confidence and being okay with yourself. yes, I am aware of the polarizing effects of ASC, but this is perfectly fine.
Did had some conversations with people involving leadership roles. Euphoria. Lots is becoming "normal" and self explainatory. Also at times I get really cocky and bitchy, a-social even. I at times have an sense that my eye contact might be to intense and burns right into people causing responses, other times they seem to be an relaxingseductive gaze. Im noticing its just there and other times its an wave of interest and curiosity. This non neediness confidence is actually liberating. Im wondering how I did function before all of this. Im still getting aware of new things, neediness, agenda and what not, making me slightly insecure sometimes.
I had thoughts about the inner child.
Acceptance plays an massive role.
Defensiveness is being dealt with. Due my ptsd being defensive comes with it. On the road towards dance I had this realisation ( perhaps due listening to Ben Shapiro's safespace stuff which is basically the opposite of confidence ) that defensiveness comes from an place of insecurity. I have multiple experiences and occasions how I felt vulneratble, yet being fully in the open, present. I tend to want to make stuff click from there ( or is it the sub? i dont know. )
I greet people openly, start converastions randomly with people right of the bat and hold eye contact, I dont shy away anymore, well, 95% of the time, depending on my inner state and what happening internally.
I have an strong pull towards group speaking, involving an crowd.
When I notice statements in my head coming up, im getting critical. Its like being aware of them and going beyond them, another direction. Right now, the thoughts of "female friends" set me in an more sexual light, like "thats not right" causing an increase in confidence. This sub is pretty addicting. Self made. No agenda/hang ups(n re-thinking this suddenly ) seems to turn me into an magnet, or atleast, letting go seems to somehow turn table and charges me sexually and attractively. Some sort of freeflowing? I sense something way more beyond all of this. Im on fire, im calm.
The sub burns right through shittests. Game is internal. Also saving for WM/SM as of now ( Already got AM 6.0, will decide what to do after running that )
Im feeling foggy, and am laughing for no reason, im getting aware in terms of how i communicate with woman and caught myself thinking "i couldve be your father". Its more of an change in piosition away from nice guy stuff but not fully yet, asc seems to attack multiple things at once. Its bit confusing my feelz. Its just, I want to no longer censor myself but I feel partly chained.
I might've have an fear of succes. Lots of asking out has Always been in my mind but never made it through just because "then what?"there is no doubt in my selfworth and value whatsoevetr, and in fact i feel an change going on. When ASC hits full force it swallows the world and my reality, sort of lighten up and all can become dreamy at times. I do wonder if I hype myself up at times to the point of derailing. Asking out and the outcome of it seems to be an confidence issue, yet then again, im high value. Its flip-flopping. I need experience I guess, how much it might be external, my mind might need evidence. Nothing worng with that. Easily directed. I have to go through with it, its basically now right at my door waiting to break through. ASC can be like an soft blanked at times. It gives definitely insight in my inhibitions and internal blocks, such as the party life. To recognize this seems to be causing an push through. Same as with eye contact, its there, just there, if I am aware or not. Like it takes the world. Same goes for bodylanguage and state, its total freedom, lightness perhaps, supercharged yet not. Not sure how to describe it but its great. Its an all falling into place kind of feeling and nothing qan bother me. Its where to magic happens, as if being taken by the sub and being told "look"being checked into place. Like the situation doesnt bother me because the sub overrules all.
Its perhaps some shifting eachother that seems to happen lately. One moment i can be all in my head while the next all becomes oppurtunity. And the oppurtunity will win out! Shifting between anxiety and apathy, and oppurtunity overflow and chainreaction. Im not really aiming for anything today other then listening to the sub and relaxing and letting the inner changes happen as effective as possible. Trusting in the sub and relaxing seem tom dissolve blocks. Tension and stress might be indentified right now. Pretty sure they are.
Edit: Im thinking about the status thinking and hold myself absolute high value even if I am not aware to it. I am adding value, high status, and this is coming from none neediness. Its truly liberating but i dont care really. At times i feel its not me writing this, but im absolutely sure it is. This is why I love this sub. Its win win. Like, owning the place and adding, not out of approval but because it simply is. I love this stuff!
Eye contact was still pretty solid with other people, like with 2 other girls, there is no loss in eye contact, only win win. I dont really care any longer about responses from people, another girl at dance walked in, i greeted, made eye contact and she didnt even respond. before I would be concerned but now it was rather funny.
Yesterday my heartrate went skyhigh to the point I had to take a break from listening, it was almost pounding right out of my chest so something deep has been possibly hit. My whole body tensed up, fear runned, Thought i was going to pass out and had panic sensations aswell as nausea. At work some new persons were present, and I walked automatically towards one woman and hold firm eye contact with her and shook hands. she didnt know how to handle that at all. | realized what adding value is instead of taking. Its obvious really.
My talking has more expression, the sub pushes me out of my head. Im using my hands, more expression in talking. Im comfortable, and if im not, then even thats fine. Im having an clear sense of self importance, selflove, confidence. Im curious as to where I will be after these 3 months +
My dream was clear this night. dysfunctional balance of relationship, being blown out, having conflict with some guy, to eventually grasp girls left and right, and make out with them. The dream was lucid and i woke up from the dream very confident. The girl with who I made out was shocked but gave in pretty quick. It was intense. Lots of symbolism and woke up pretty sure it was the sub doing this. It was very real. makes me even more driven
As if something felt into place. am feeling very sexual currently, not horny, but sexual seductive. After waking from the dream ( around 3 o clock, sp00ky shitz! ) i was very energized and wide awake. The next dream was with familiarities, but this was more awkward.
Ones frame is also an subconscious communication, like being solid and an sense of boundaries. Its non verbal communication and statement. Like an "dont fuck with me" kind of vibe.
have some millionair rockstar kind of sense going on at times.
have lots of interest right now in abundance of woman and sleeping with multiple woman. Escalation is easily triggered into doing. I tend to trigger myself in frame. Other times Im totally disinterested. The dream I had has definitely caused some shift as im more certain then ever to escalate and seduce. I also have an sense that seduction is part of this, of confidence, being sexy, like an trait.
Im seeing asc being pure confidence in many ways and covering everything, almost disembodied and sheer force/confidence.
I get at times an sense of my bodylanguage, how it is different or slightly off. Right now, my mind is fully turning into action, calmth and confidence. Also lack of needs present itself more and more. Just confidence and being okay with yourself. yes, I am aware of the polarizing effects of ASC, but this is perfectly fine.
Did had some conversations with people involving leadership roles. Euphoria. Lots is becoming "normal" and self explainatory. Also at times I get really cocky and bitchy, a-social even. I at times have an sense that my eye contact might be to intense and burns right into people causing responses, other times they seem to be an relaxingseductive gaze. Im noticing its just there and other times its an wave of interest and curiosity. This non neediness confidence is actually liberating. Im wondering how I did function before all of this. Im still getting aware of new things, neediness, agenda and what not, making me slightly insecure sometimes.
I had thoughts about the inner child.
Acceptance plays an massive role.
Defensiveness is being dealt with. Due my ptsd being defensive comes with it. On the road towards dance I had this realisation ( perhaps due listening to Ben Shapiro's safespace stuff which is basically the opposite of confidence ) that defensiveness comes from an place of insecurity. I have multiple experiences and occasions how I felt vulneratble, yet being fully in the open, present. I tend to want to make stuff click from there ( or is it the sub? i dont know. )
I greet people openly, start converastions randomly with people right of the bat and hold eye contact, I dont shy away anymore, well, 95% of the time, depending on my inner state and what happening internally.
I have an strong pull towards group speaking, involving an crowd.
When I notice statements in my head coming up, im getting critical. Its like being aware of them and going beyond them, another direction. Right now, the thoughts of "female friends" set me in an more sexual light, like "thats not right" causing an increase in confidence. This sub is pretty addicting. Self made. No agenda/hang ups(n re-thinking this suddenly ) seems to turn me into an magnet, or atleast, letting go seems to somehow turn table and charges me sexually and attractively. Some sort of freeflowing? I sense something way more beyond all of this. Im on fire, im calm.
The sub burns right through shittests. Game is internal. Also saving for WM/SM as of now ( Already got AM 6.0, will decide what to do after running that )
Im feeling foggy, and am laughing for no reason, im getting aware in terms of how i communicate with woman and caught myself thinking "i couldve be your father". Its more of an change in piosition away from nice guy stuff but not fully yet, asc seems to attack multiple things at once. Its bit confusing my feelz. Its just, I want to no longer censor myself but I feel partly chained.
I might've have an fear of succes. Lots of asking out has Always been in my mind but never made it through just because "then what?"there is no doubt in my selfworth and value whatsoevetr, and in fact i feel an change going on. When ASC hits full force it swallows the world and my reality, sort of lighten up and all can become dreamy at times. I do wonder if I hype myself up at times to the point of derailing. Asking out and the outcome of it seems to be an confidence issue, yet then again, im high value. Its flip-flopping. I need experience I guess, how much it might be external, my mind might need evidence. Nothing worng with that. Easily directed. I have to go through with it, its basically now right at my door waiting to break through. ASC can be like an soft blanked at times. It gives definitely insight in my inhibitions and internal blocks, such as the party life. To recognize this seems to be causing an push through. Same as with eye contact, its there, just there, if I am aware or not. Like it takes the world. Same goes for bodylanguage and state, its total freedom, lightness perhaps, supercharged yet not. Not sure how to describe it but its great. Its an all falling into place kind of feeling and nothing qan bother me. Its where to magic happens, as if being taken by the sub and being told "look"being checked into place. Like the situation doesnt bother me because the sub overrules all.
Its perhaps some shifting eachother that seems to happen lately. One moment i can be all in my head while the next all becomes oppurtunity. And the oppurtunity will win out! Shifting between anxiety and apathy, and oppurtunity overflow and chainreaction. Im not really aiming for anything today other then listening to the sub and relaxing and letting the inner changes happen as effective as possible. Trusting in the sub and relaxing seem tom dissolve blocks. Tension and stress might be indentified right now. Pretty sure they are.
Edit: Im thinking about the status thinking and hold myself absolute high value even if I am not aware to it. I am adding value, high status, and this is coming from none neediness. Its truly liberating but i dont care really. At times i feel its not me writing this, but im absolutely sure it is. This is why I love this sub. Its win win. Like, owning the place and adding, not out of approval but because it simply is. I love this stuff!
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
