02-01-2016, 01:35 AM
day 55 ( 41 days + what is necessary remains )
Im getting more opinionated on things, more militant and agressive.
At times I wonder whats happening, my approach towards feelings is getting more mature. It makes me think as to working through the feelings instead of having them dominate me and being reactionairy. I still am at times.
Im wondering how ASC seems to create some aura lately. When I look in the mirror I radiate confidence, its almost like some sort of second body, some energetic body. Im feeling incredibly sure in myself. Yes, I still think about things occasionaly and walk still against walls (blocks? defenses being dissolved? ) interms of what I want, but hesitation is reduced. Occasional thoughts seem to bring up the same responses over and over again, in terms of approach, going out and the such. It causes some slight panic in me, some uneaseness and confusion as if it stirs up conflict. Its an block like some fort. ASC doesnt just deal with inhibitations, it floods and takes the person to an whole different new level of existence and living. Its transcending, electrifying and can get only more obvious. Im having deep trust. External responses are just that. Its mindblowing. yesterday it was as if the sub created some sort of blanked slowly falling down on my shoulders and around my neck. Vibrant. My brain was hot and glowing.
I have thoughts of opposing approaching girls. Instead im being thrown back in confidence, like an magnet, reducing in neediness and what not. It keeps changing me in new ways and feels very natural at times that I barely to not notice and wonder if the sub is working ( lol )
Im gravitating towards more leader stuff, economics and politics.
After the rut of yesterday, eventually I relaxed, causing the sub to solidify. It was almost some sort of lesson, that acceptance is an part aswell, instead of aiming high and striving, my mind is quite busy with lots of plans. Its very frustrating to not get to an plan as of now.
I feel the sub getting even more and more powerfull and dominating, all will eventually being dealt with. I had flashback before I went to bed about my dad being all humiliating in the presence of other people and disrespecting me and what not, traumas and the such. Stirred up anger. Could watch it come up and pretty easy let it pass.
Now that OGSF 5G and OF 5G have been released, its tempting, but i am currently more sure then ever that I should go on with ASC. As if an new level of acceptance has been reached and settled. No more doubts, ASC is the way to go.
Im feeling an sense in my heart. I was thinking how ASC seems to affect and change on deep levels and how it relate to the heart. I dont know really. Its some sort of itchy feeling right now, other times it feels vibrant. Having mental images of glowing when i present myself and people fall in awe. All is confidence right now.
Im more and more drawn to high status lifestyle and high value stuff. Suits are very appealing, work ethic is going to the roof. Multiple projects are appealing in my mind, aswell as involving in several social circles. Im thinking about signing up for toastmasters and am absolutely unshakable in my self belief and belief in my skills. Being surrounded by an crowd is great. Quality is greater. Abundance. Still having some old beliefs coming up from my former life and more trauma coming up and stirred up from the subconscious.
Also may skip journalling for days just to let asc do its thing without documenting it. Time to move on.
Ultrasonic is playing currently. Listening to Ben Shapiro aswell.
Im getting more opinionated on things, more militant and agressive.
At times I wonder whats happening, my approach towards feelings is getting more mature. It makes me think as to working through the feelings instead of having them dominate me and being reactionairy. I still am at times.
Im wondering how ASC seems to create some aura lately. When I look in the mirror I radiate confidence, its almost like some sort of second body, some energetic body. Im feeling incredibly sure in myself. Yes, I still think about things occasionaly and walk still against walls (blocks? defenses being dissolved? ) interms of what I want, but hesitation is reduced. Occasional thoughts seem to bring up the same responses over and over again, in terms of approach, going out and the such. It causes some slight panic in me, some uneaseness and confusion as if it stirs up conflict. Its an block like some fort. ASC doesnt just deal with inhibitations, it floods and takes the person to an whole different new level of existence and living. Its transcending, electrifying and can get only more obvious. Im having deep trust. External responses are just that. Its mindblowing. yesterday it was as if the sub created some sort of blanked slowly falling down on my shoulders and around my neck. Vibrant. My brain was hot and glowing.
I have thoughts of opposing approaching girls. Instead im being thrown back in confidence, like an magnet, reducing in neediness and what not. It keeps changing me in new ways and feels very natural at times that I barely to not notice and wonder if the sub is working ( lol )
Im gravitating towards more leader stuff, economics and politics.
After the rut of yesterday, eventually I relaxed, causing the sub to solidify. It was almost some sort of lesson, that acceptance is an part aswell, instead of aiming high and striving, my mind is quite busy with lots of plans. Its very frustrating to not get to an plan as of now.
I feel the sub getting even more and more powerfull and dominating, all will eventually being dealt with. I had flashback before I went to bed about my dad being all humiliating in the presence of other people and disrespecting me and what not, traumas and the such. Stirred up anger. Could watch it come up and pretty easy let it pass.
Now that OGSF 5G and OF 5G have been released, its tempting, but i am currently more sure then ever that I should go on with ASC. As if an new level of acceptance has been reached and settled. No more doubts, ASC is the way to go.
Im feeling an sense in my heart. I was thinking how ASC seems to affect and change on deep levels and how it relate to the heart. I dont know really. Its some sort of itchy feeling right now, other times it feels vibrant. Having mental images of glowing when i present myself and people fall in awe. All is confidence right now.
Im more and more drawn to high status lifestyle and high value stuff. Suits are very appealing, work ethic is going to the roof. Multiple projects are appealing in my mind, aswell as involving in several social circles. Im thinking about signing up for toastmasters and am absolutely unshakable in my self belief and belief in my skills. Being surrounded by an crowd is great. Quality is greater. Abundance. Still having some old beliefs coming up from my former life and more trauma coming up and stirred up from the subconscious.
Also may skip journalling for days just to let asc do its thing without documenting it. Time to move on.
Ultrasonic is playing currently. Listening to Ben Shapiro aswell.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus