day 50
Woke up sharp. had multiple dreams again. One involved prolonged eye contact with an girl for 10 second + in an experimental way.
Again, feeling some anxiety going on but it makes sense in some way. Slight sadness and low feelings, not really tired, little headfog. Its like hitting an wall. Conflicting.
Im interested in dressing myself better.
had thoughts pop up yesterday how woman hate weak men which gave an boost in confidence. it makes sense. Also how an alpha walks away and dont need woman, not out of apathy but abundance and that wanting to change is an act of beta-ness and self preservance. Its game over really.
had some thougts over dominance and seem to take that role more and more. there is still limitations over "offending the crowd"and other horrid programming. Could be because something deep is hit right now as I have had several occasions of momentum in which it doesnt matter and I invite all and it doesnt get to me. It annoys me what is popping up right now. makes me feel somewhat powerless and in struggle. Had an strong reduction yesterday in neediness. sense of self and understand being "man"skyrocketed. Like being the cornerstone in the relation and the non neediness but abundance thinking. almost traditional. Real division between gender-roles.
My standards went up. The reduction of neediness has made me wake up from an sort of dream, like some magic ( needyness ) was shattered. It didnt had that specialty any longer and it felt liberating so to say, aswell as setting myself in an clearer self position. This is really great to realize as it gives an huge boost in confidence and attraction towards myself and gives advantage.
Even resistance seem to be less significant now.
I do have thoughts of high rank positions and militant positions.
I also am counting back from day 96 now. like "day 50, 46 days left" and I might even extent it.
Feeling annoyed. Im all over the place mentally and emotionally.
Listening to Milo Yiannopoulos and his social circle stuff of female freinds and made me realize once again how social circle is everywhere really and right before my eyes now. It throws all upside down. Its not really about offending people, its more about realizing how it just doesnt make sense at all.
Had some insight that I still seem to avoid through mental activities, instead of letting the sub alone and do its thing.
Internal change reflecting in perspective and outlook. Before i would have hangups around words having value and what not, but its pretty funny how people fall over it now and throwing mud to eachother. Just an self remark and note. Changes are happening, and realize confidence.
Im theorizing how the subs digs up through deeper levels and the subconscious is like that, thats why the same issues/structures/patterns surface and are dig up. Its not from my experience "issue comes up - dealt with with - over"well, not exactly like that, But more that the same issues may be on several deep levels and ASC definitely deals with it. Better acknowledge and accept that, It spreads like oil/wildfire inside, deeper and deeper, through the mind.
The thought to shed some light in groups is appealing, guess its the involving quality instead of bystander, the taking lead.
The ultrasonic plays.
Woke up sharp. had multiple dreams again. One involved prolonged eye contact with an girl for 10 second + in an experimental way.
Again, feeling some anxiety going on but it makes sense in some way. Slight sadness and low feelings, not really tired, little headfog. Its like hitting an wall. Conflicting.
Im interested in dressing myself better.
had thoughts pop up yesterday how woman hate weak men which gave an boost in confidence. it makes sense. Also how an alpha walks away and dont need woman, not out of apathy but abundance and that wanting to change is an act of beta-ness and self preservance. Its game over really.
had some thougts over dominance and seem to take that role more and more. there is still limitations over "offending the crowd"and other horrid programming. Could be because something deep is hit right now as I have had several occasions of momentum in which it doesnt matter and I invite all and it doesnt get to me. It annoys me what is popping up right now. makes me feel somewhat powerless and in struggle. Had an strong reduction yesterday in neediness. sense of self and understand being "man"skyrocketed. Like being the cornerstone in the relation and the non neediness but abundance thinking. almost traditional. Real division between gender-roles.
My standards went up. The reduction of neediness has made me wake up from an sort of dream, like some magic ( needyness ) was shattered. It didnt had that specialty any longer and it felt liberating so to say, aswell as setting myself in an clearer self position. This is really great to realize as it gives an huge boost in confidence and attraction towards myself and gives advantage.
Even resistance seem to be less significant now.
I do have thoughts of high rank positions and militant positions.
I also am counting back from day 96 now. like "day 50, 46 days left" and I might even extent it.
Feeling annoyed. Im all over the place mentally and emotionally.
Listening to Milo Yiannopoulos and his social circle stuff of female freinds and made me realize once again how social circle is everywhere really and right before my eyes now. It throws all upside down. Its not really about offending people, its more about realizing how it just doesnt make sense at all.
Had some insight that I still seem to avoid through mental activities, instead of letting the sub alone and do its thing.
Internal change reflecting in perspective and outlook. Before i would have hangups around words having value and what not, but its pretty funny how people fall over it now and throwing mud to eachother. Just an self remark and note. Changes are happening, and realize confidence.
Im theorizing how the subs digs up through deeper levels and the subconscious is like that, thats why the same issues/structures/patterns surface and are dig up. Its not from my experience "issue comes up - dealt with with - over"well, not exactly like that, But more that the same issues may be on several deep levels and ASC definitely deals with it. Better acknowledge and accept that, It spreads like oil/wildfire inside, deeper and deeper, through the mind.
The thought to shed some light in groups is appealing, guess its the involving quality instead of bystander, the taking lead.
The ultrasonic plays.
