day 42 januari 18
I had an breakthrough yesterday. I experienced negative beliefs coming up and tried to let them go. Eventually the sub washed over and flooded me, the sub won. ASC finally manifested itself and I was somehow clueless as to why I had these anxious feelings all day when it did. Journalling gets really tricky because it is so natural now. It has settled. Im slightly discouiraged with journalling but furthermore Im fine. I could look people stright in the eyes without any hesitation at all, just, nothing, pure eye contact and ease in socializing. The people and me all loved it. An whole new world opened up.
I seem to return to former beliefs aswell. Phases in my life, some sort or returning to my teens and early 20's. Im now mid twenties and these periods revolved around spirituality mostly in an darker sense. Im coming to peace with that aswell but the period is closing of now. |t shows itself like some resistance in an way, familiar and I see how this surfaces right now. I feel I also entered an new phase.
EDIT: Guess this is an example of how deep ASC can work and probably any other sub aswell. Right now Im feeling lots of supressed anger coming out. My responses to it was resistance but i am thinking as to how i everytime dissociate myself from anger out of habit and people just can get angry. I have an surge going on and I can barely contain it. Its like burning wildfire. Its agitation that hits like an animal in an cage. Confusion is afterwards met with some sense of relief and an vague sense of clikcing. I just cant stand my analyzing habits. My only guess is that the sub is working some very deep core issues and my head is glowing with warmth. My thoughts are pretty raw and swinging,, going from penetrating pussy like some animal as to being alpha male and alpha female mating tribe stuff aswell as some more leveled team up stuff with me still being the dominant counterpart. I only can let the sub bounce around and should just back off. My head fucking hurts right now and I'm very foggy. I simply dont know.
Also very snappy right now.
I had an breakthrough yesterday. I experienced negative beliefs coming up and tried to let them go. Eventually the sub washed over and flooded me, the sub won. ASC finally manifested itself and I was somehow clueless as to why I had these anxious feelings all day when it did. Journalling gets really tricky because it is so natural now. It has settled. Im slightly discouiraged with journalling but furthermore Im fine. I could look people stright in the eyes without any hesitation at all, just, nothing, pure eye contact and ease in socializing. The people and me all loved it. An whole new world opened up.
I seem to return to former beliefs aswell. Phases in my life, some sort or returning to my teens and early 20's. Im now mid twenties and these periods revolved around spirituality mostly in an darker sense. Im coming to peace with that aswell but the period is closing of now. |t shows itself like some resistance in an way, familiar and I see how this surfaces right now. I feel I also entered an new phase.
EDIT: Guess this is an example of how deep ASC can work and probably any other sub aswell. Right now Im feeling lots of supressed anger coming out. My responses to it was resistance but i am thinking as to how i everytime dissociate myself from anger out of habit and people just can get angry. I have an surge going on and I can barely contain it. Its like burning wildfire. Its agitation that hits like an animal in an cage. Confusion is afterwards met with some sense of relief and an vague sense of clikcing. I just cant stand my analyzing habits. My only guess is that the sub is working some very deep core issues and my head is glowing with warmth. My thoughts are pretty raw and swinging,, going from penetrating pussy like some animal as to being alpha male and alpha female mating tribe stuff aswell as some more leveled team up stuff with me still being the dominant counterpart. I only can let the sub bounce around and should just back off. My head fucking hurts right now and I'm very foggy. I simply dont know.
Also very snappy right now.
