AM6 refresher

[Zubrowka]

It exceptionally frustrating to have this crystal clear outcome in my mind. Its literally an stepping into it, nothing to fear, but its as if im taped into place. Im rage-y. Like, internally I feel like dying or some shit. Its so ***** easy, wtf isstopping me. WHY?! the world is mine but im feeling stiffled by what I think is resistance. Getting more and more rage-y by the goddamn minute.

Also, I could go back on UMS, but I dont want to be the guy that switches subs out of escape. If I do that, I get nowhere.

I honestly feel this shit is costing me time. I also dont like how much influence my feelings have regarding my decision making this time. It feels like hijacking my decisions.

Hi man,

I've run AM in the past but it's approach really didn't work for me - and running it was really a waste of time. If I would have gone with E2 (which was the newest one out by then) or LTU3, I would have been much better off. I have seen that you have run AM in the past, and in some way you are not satisfied with the results - maybe you need some other program primary directed to healing to overcome what is creating your emotional turbulence - just a thought.

[Kol]

Yeah, I get what you are saying, and it might be what I need. When I focus on that one issue, I spiral directly into fear. Idk why. Its a reaction blown way out of proportion. Its weird. The rest of my life is leveling up on this sub.

I did read that E4 is in the making. I have a good feeling about it. I trust Shannon in that.

What is your sub history, did you run direct healing subs like the E series? If so, what are your experiences with it? Just curious

[Zubrowka]

Yeah, I get what you are saying, and it might be what I need. When I focus on that one issue, I spiral directly into fear. Idk why. Its a reaction blown way out of proportion. Its weird. The rest of my life is leveling up on this sub.

I did read that E4 is in the making. I have a good feeling about it. I trust Shannon in that.

What is your sub history, did you run direct healing subs like the E series? If so, what are your experiences with it? Just curious

Yeah, when I ran AM my fears came up strong - and i wasn't really able to deal with them, so it caused me to dissociate big time. I should have stopped running it, but people on the forum told me to "keep going it's just resistance" - because they probably didn't realized how severe it was. So I was messed up after 3 months of torturing myself.

Then I went on using E2 for a long time, didn't really help and I switched to LTU5 when it came out and have been running it for a bit over 1 year - I'm not fully recovered and emotionally healthy, but one more year with LTU5, or possibly shorter with LTU6, will probably put me in a place where I can take on whatever challenges I want and be able to deal with them.

[Kol]

If I understand you correct, you stopped at stage 3? Or did you finish your AM6 run, and jumped on E2 afterwards?
I never was that interested in the whole emotional healing and such, but can see massive benefits now. Big chance I give E4 a shot when it comes out.

On the am6 front

I live the dynamic of being chased more and more. Feeling alpha, masculine, driven. Had a menory pop up about a girl who I banged on am6, and kept thinking during make-out "cant we be over with this shit?" No wonder she took so long to finish me, this helps my refresher run. She did enjoy the facefucking/ruination tho. Oh well, I wanted my willy wet. I notice women responding subconsciously. It feeds in my confidence, assuredness, yet dont need the validation.
Hah, that girl ljbf'd me back then. What a gift. She turned out batshit afterwards anyway. Other girls wanted the goods of the drama tho. Made another girl cry who was playing hard to get also back then. I eventually lost interest due to that, and because L was all over, I bit the bullet.

[Zubrowka]

If I understand you correct, you stopped at stage 3? Or did you finish your AM6 run, and jumped on E2 afterwards?
I never was that interested in the whole emotional healing and such, but can see massive benefits now. Big chance I give E4 a shot when it comes out.

On the am6 front

I live the dynamic of being chased more and more. Feeling alpha, masculine, driven. Had a menory pop up about a girl who I banged on am6, and kept thinking during make-out "cant we be over with this shit?" No wonder she took so long to finish me, this helps my refresher run. She did enjoy the ***** tho. Oh well, I wanted my willy wet. I notice women responding subconsciously. It feeds in my confidence, assuredness, yet dont need the validation.
Hah, that girl ljbf'd me back then. What a gift. She turned out batshit afterwards anyway. Other girls wanted the goods of the drama tho. Made another girl cry who was playing hard to get also back then. I eventually lost interest due to that, and because L was all over, I bit the bullet.

I had to quit at stage 3, it was no possibility to finish as I was both suicidal and experienced serious derelaization and depersonalization.

[Kol]

Going through the storm yet my internals keep building. Im sorting some stuff out, or rather, its like a selection process thats happening. My agression and edge keeps building also.

Im in and out of the storm and its driving me nuts.

[Kol]

Prolly will run some healing sub after this. E3. I can use some good healing. The mere consideration of this I consider a good sign. Might be am6 maturity. UMS could be another "putting the cart before the horse"

Another is, I suspect UMS still influencing me at this point. The signs are there. Having interesting mind shifts regarding money going on. Almost like TID. relax and all falls into place.

[THolt]

Prolly will run some healing sub after this. E3. I can use some good healing. The mere consideration of this I consider a good sign. Might be am6 maturity. UMS could be another "putting the cart before the horse"

Another is, I suspect UMS still influencing me at this point. The signs are there. Having interesting mind shifts regarding money going on. Almost like TID. relax and all falls into place.

E3 is really good 

I am using it now and feel like I am clearing out a lot of stuff. 

If Shannon makes the self worth sub I proposed, I may jump on that.

[Kol]

If you can tell...How does E3 feel differently then the E3 module in UMS? Can you pinpoint a difference between them and in its result?

[THolt]

If you can tell...How does E3 feel differently then the E3 module in UMS? Can you pinpoint a difference between them and in its result?

Tbh I couldn’t although with E3 I felt more general relief. UMS is more money focused and has a lot of other stuff so I don’t know if I could pinpoint a difference

[Kol]

Yeah I envision E3 more general, so I can imagine it creating feelings of more general relief, more overal healing in a broader sense

[THolt]

Yeah I envision E3 more general, so I can imagine it creating feelings of more general relief, more overal healing in a broader sense

When I did run UMS there were moments where I felt deservedness come through. It was nice 

I finally felt like I was good enough. It was only fleeting. 

That’s why I wand a self worth program. I want to drive that belief deeper in all areas of life. I don’t think it would I take long to make since it may not even need FRM so Shannon could make it relatively quickly.

[Kol]

I hope Shannon reads about the deservedness. I dont know the script of ums, but the deservedness aspect in my refresher run I would love to see in ums.

[Kol]

The sub has killed my arachnophobia. Now to seal the deal, im gonna make an appointment as soon as possible for exposure.