AM6 Run-2 tolgaocal80's Journal

[tolgaocal80]

Now I will do Run-2 of AM6

starting on 10.11.19
9 days first run

but I want to ask some questions about usage patterns and stages, if anyone who did run AM 2 times or one, answer I will be very gratefull, thank you.

I am dreaming very sexual and, not caring about sexual shames after finished stage 6, it had been almost one week,
before stage 6 I just dreamt about friendliness with girls. is there anyone respond like this to stage 6?
 is stage 6 contains some things about this subject? I am dreaming too much with this sub, I will make a detailed dream list for Run 2.

I think, I will try ultrasonic this time, what is your suggestions? first one was Ocean masked, 12-13 hours.
I think I am maybe a bit strong willed type, but I wanna try this time ultrasonic, please suggestions about this?

[Benjamin]

The last few stages, I think 5 and 6 have a bit of a leadin to SM, so it makes sense you'd have dreams ilke that.

Whatever format you can do consistently is fine, good job doing ocean surf for so many hours especially while sleeping. I'm not sure I could, I used ultrasonic. Also you want to be able to keep the hours pretty consistent between stages, because for example if you did like 20 hours a day in stage 1 then dropped down to 10 it would be unbalanced.

[tolgaocal80]

Yes I did it when sleeping or awake both Ocean Surf, about 12-13 hours everyday, I read some journals about this discussion, I remember Masked sounds on low volume effecting subconsious more deeper than ultrasonic, I guess I will again do that

So new usage patterns for Run-2 is:

Ocean Surf Masked 12 hours day, 8 hours night and 4 hours day
Thank you Ben for answer

And one question:
Some types of girls attracted to me in past exactly before using AM, this types were who got divorced parents or girls not raised by their parents, and what I observe is that kind of girls are not attracted to me anymore,
and some types of girl who very sexual and aggressive. I am not observing these things anymore. İs that a good thing or bad?

in past a few girls ask me for a relationship or some implicit meanings leading for sex, but I didnt want them, they were attractive also like 7-8, and I dont know why I do not want sex or sexual intimacy with them, I didnt want them but I was always angry with myself for doing like that. I am afraid of sexual encounters I guess, I want to fix this.

[Benjamin]

And one question:
Some types of girls attracted to me in past exactly before using AM, this types were who got divorced parents or girls not raised by their parents, and what I observe is that kind of girls are not attracted to me anymore,
and some types of girl who very sexual and aggressive. I am not observing these things anymore. İs that a good thing or bad?

Sounds to me it's proof of your growth. The first thing I think is that you were attracting girls with alot of issues and now that you're becoming stronger in yourself you're ready to attract something new.

[tolgaocal80]

Yeess, that make sense. thanks Ben

[tolgaocal80]

new usage patterns: 13 hours 20 min hours every day Ocean masked.

Stage 1 Day 2

Just a vivid dream:

I was a home which I dont know where, it wasn't my family's or relatives. it was night and I was preparing to sleep. and suddenly I turned my head to windows near my bed, And I saw a man is there right front of the windows, (my room was near to a roof of another building.)
The man was like a dedective he was wearing a long coat something. I felt this man was a dangerous and harmful man to me. I was scared. I thought I have to catch him. I grabbed both his legs and dangling down.
and then I began to yell at my mother with my all strength "mommyy"
Then I realized all my family woke up and my mom said to me: Look at what you just done!, You woke up all the neighbors. and then I look at the strange man and he was gone,

I saw a woman who haven't got her body at half,( she just had arms and stomach). also there was a little girl probably her girl.
she was cleaning the roof.
little girl was looking at me like she know me. When I wake up, I was thinking I shouldn't act bad to my mother.

[tolgaocal80]

Stage 1 Day: 3

What I realized is that all my dream were about fear of something. Fearing from demons, fearing from strangers, not being good enough etc... I am afraid of beaten, I don't trust my body to protect myself .
I am seeing around people starting to fight with each other, or arguing about stupid things.
""Whenever I dreamt about afraiding of something , I encounter with these type of stuations. I guess my subconcious trying to "live" a stuation through manifestations that I need to protect myself or need to protect the other man who beaten,
When I was on stage 5 of Run 1, I decided to start a self-defence course to combine my bodybuilding with some kick-box.
But I forgot it later. On run 1 I dreamt about this thing very much and I won't let another failure about this.

When I was child my family always told me, "don't be a part of backyard fights, or school fights. It is a bad thing to fight. My childhood passed by running away from fights and not responding to anyone when they walk over me. So this problem and its fear came across to me on Run 1. I am solving this now.

[tolgaocal80]

stage 1 day 9

I am doing things in a very relaxed mind state, conversations with others, my movements...
Also I am dreaming sexual dreams repeatedly, but in this dreams I not having sex actually; kissing, hugging, and conversations about love.

I think my subconcious decompose very later, in run 1 I already noticed this. and I think stage 5-6 SM leads-in contuining to execution.

I noticed one thing is that I am having some corruption about perception of time, it is like time moving very slow sometimes, actually while listening AM.

when I just let things go find their on way, I noticed, things are going flawlessly and smoothly instead of being cautious about how you are doing.

[tolgaocal80]

stage 1 day 11

I got some kind of silence in this stage. I am waking up very peacefull and relax,
but I want to change beliefs in my mind towards women. I want to like them and see them as a lover, not a thing scaring.
stabile mood for now.

[tolgaocal80]

stage 1 day 14

yesterday night I saw a dream and it was about time travelling, again. I don't know is it normal but, this one was 3. or 4. about travelling my old times or my future. Any commons to interpret are appreciated.
Here is the dream as I remember:

We're in the old house where I was. I have my mother, my sister, my father and my cousin. I have something that provides some sort of time travel, I don't remember what it is like some kind of box. With this box, we can go back and change things. We are at home in an afternoon. We had dinner, we sat at the table. We're making a bus trip in a strange desert somewhere between the dream, only my mother, me and my sister on the big bus. The bus sometimes shakes so violently, I tell them "you better fasten your seatbelts", these memories take up a small space in the dream like a flash.

Then we go back to the past with the capsule. I'm telling my cousin I can change the past with that. I can reverse the bad things that happened. Then we travel back into the past. I don't remember what we did there exactly, I just remembered I was a little child and I was on the street, Then, when I go back to the now,, because of the things I've been going through in past,,, I say to them: We're not going to make time travel anymore. We will accept and love the life we ​​live now. Because changing the past is very unstable and harmful. I'm gonna bury the time capsule right there. But then I'm afraid if they get it without my knowledge. its ends here.


maybe this type of dreams some kind of EPRHA things. I am not sure, I never dreamed in 5- 6 years before AM,

[tolgaocal80]

I am thinking about girls. I am seeing their boyfriends behaviours towards them and I get angry. Is it supposed to be like that? it is clearly beta male behaviours.
Sometimes thoughts in my mind, why everybody act if we have to do the first move? Are we the needy side?

it is clear enough from her behaviours, she is pretty much attracted to you, she already trying to show herself at every positions that can be happen. but why she is not doing the first move? or acting like she doesn't know about what you are talking about when you go for her. I am really tired of this bullshits at all.
I know there is a world out there which I never seen before. there are people who are doing things I feared, like crazy. making love like crazy. making money like crazy, doing things they want.

I am tired enough tired of this thoughts. I dont know what to do. I am confident about myself, maybe not sexually, or maybe some wrong beliefs about women.

I think there are 2 main reason for not doing things we wanna do..1) fear: ( we are wanting on a consicous level but afraid of when trying.) or2) wrong beliefs.

I am talking about men, Why a person doesn't live a perfect life? Why we are not living sexual relationships with women we found attractive around us? and making money we want?

We are absolutely can do this. I dont believe in this, I know this can be. Is problem really afraiding of consequences? or not going out from comfort zone? perhaps, both of them results same way; fear of consequences.

I don't know how to overcome fear of death, but I have to find it. I am reading some stoic philosophy, those guys seem to have solved that. they are absolutely not seeing "death" as a bad thing.

[tolgaocal80]

stage 1 day 17

it seems attraction started again, but its like different from before. in general, everyone acting like I am not there, or I am bad guy like criminal, some girls giving IOIs and smiling...

I got very intense depression today. I dont know how I will pass my class this year,, and this very depressing ,, Sometimes I dont know if this sub is working or not?

In mornings I am waking up with a feeling or thought "enough, accept you are a sexual creature as a man and you must do the moves to woman around if you want sexual things.

I feel like,, as an Alpha man I must approach ANY girls around me, when they look at me,,, and this kind of pressure in my mind ,,creating a pressure on me..

[tolgaocal80]

stage 1 day 18

After years,, first time a girl approached me for asking, a question, a stupid question.
I guess more of that will come soon.

I didnt start reading the books, yet. I dont know when I will start maybe stage 3 or after that. This time I'll read alpma male 2.0 by caleb jones, and some body language books,
and I recommend "practical female psychology for practical man" this book explains all behaviours from women, I read rollo tomassi's article a while ago, but I think this guy have resendment, angry towards women.

I got a depression yesterday, but today, I am pretty happy and I am doing this with a conscious effort,,,
not stable mood, but I am working on.

[tolgaocal80]

Stage 1 day 25

In stage 1, mostly İ felt like I came back from a holiday or a really good travel. I am still dreaming too much about fighting with badguy or aliens with my team or friends , or some strange situations about my family, İ will put here all of them when stage finished.

On this second run I saw some friending manifestations, I got some new friends or some of my old friends behavior s changed totally towards me, the way I speak , thoughts I got changed totally according to them.

The girls who attracted to me previously AM, now seems they don't care anymore me, in my opinion that is a good thing, because I really don't want to deal with girls who have low self-esteem.

I am realizing now how I had put value on girls much than they have. Now they all seem same.

Still got some approach anxiety, I really want get rid of this, because this causes to think me they are more important than anyone else.

A few days ago I noticed, how much changed the way I thought. I don't even remember that days. The way I think about myself, things I told to myself, the angry I got seems more light and old.