09-24-2014, 04:28 AM
Going to gym HARD at the moment. All i can think of is the goals i have to pursue and the pain of not being independent. The very thought of being dependent on anyone is repulsive to me.
tapping released a level of anger and bitterness i've never experienced before. every slight, every time someon has crossed boundaries and i haven't had the power to do anything about it.
I get angry just thinking about it now. I'm slightly worried i might just lose it with someone at work.
Particularly annoyed with girls. This one girl was chasing me for ages. then kept asking for me to spend time with her. i wasn't interested, she got under my skin and then once that happened i basically pushed her away. she became really lovey dovey and friendly again, and is now just being cold. I figure she was just into it because she had some fascination with me and then that disappered. i'm annoyed about how selfish that is but then as i write i don't think im much better. i think if someone holds no interest for me anymore i just go straight cold...karma?
anyway it's been a good experience.
generally i'm getting sh*t from people again. i don't know why. some girl started telling me off the other day for no reason.
I don't want to talk to anyone. i don't really want to socialise. I got a short timne to make a lot of shit happen and i don't really care about anything else. there is a last remaining vestige of doubt in me that says i should keep social that its not healthy to be too alone and wrapped up in what you're doing but i might just pstec that Sh*t and move on.
I'm growing toward needlessness.
tapping released a level of anger and bitterness i've never experienced before. every slight, every time someon has crossed boundaries and i haven't had the power to do anything about it.
I get angry just thinking about it now. I'm slightly worried i might just lose it with someone at work.
Particularly annoyed with girls. This one girl was chasing me for ages. then kept asking for me to spend time with her. i wasn't interested, she got under my skin and then once that happened i basically pushed her away. she became really lovey dovey and friendly again, and is now just being cold. I figure she was just into it because she had some fascination with me and then that disappered. i'm annoyed about how selfish that is but then as i write i don't think im much better. i think if someone holds no interest for me anymore i just go straight cold...karma?
anyway it's been a good experience.
generally i'm getting sh*t from people again. i don't know why. some girl started telling me off the other day for no reason.
I don't want to talk to anyone. i don't really want to socialise. I got a short timne to make a lot of shit happen and i don't really care about anything else. there is a last remaining vestige of doubt in me that says i should keep social that its not healthy to be too alone and wrapped up in what you're doing but i might just pstec that Sh*t and move on.
I'm growing toward needlessness.
Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
