09-15-2014, 08:29 AM
5 days into stage two I think.
I feel like this is the 'stop giving a sh*t about stupid things' stage. it's been draining, i'm extremely tired so it's possible that my general antipathy stems from that. just generally feeling a little dazed. it ain good.
It also feels like nothinig has happened in these last 5 days but looking over my personal journal it's been immense. I had a relative get ill and there was no one around so i had to step up and be, for all intents and purposes, a nurse. had a hot friend come from out of town who i was flirting with constantly, I crossed lines which i never would have gotten away with before and it was all fun. I went out as well with complete strangers from work and was generally making everyone laugh.
Still my brain feels lethargic, hard to concentrate and get into gear with mental activity. i get stuck with oneits on more than one girl at the same time lol, i'm just afraid of losing them, and the desire to be in a relationship, to have that comfort is strong.
I went to an RSD event and i heard some really interesting and useful things. One of these was to eliminate the need for completion and comfort. it just ain gonna happen. I think you meet a girl and you get love and validation and it's intoxicating. In a cold ass worldd ther'es nothing warmer, its like heroine. then you start dwelling getting stuckj and before you know it you're needy.
Same goes for work. Wanting validation you just wan to get to the end - to feel safe. then because you get stuck or things don't go according to plan you can negatively spiral because your vision of completion is jeopordised, and you get nothing done!
ergh. i need to see my tapping coach again. or try pstech again. just don't feel like i have the brain power to do it alone though.
I feel like this is the 'stop giving a sh*t about stupid things' stage. it's been draining, i'm extremely tired so it's possible that my general antipathy stems from that. just generally feeling a little dazed. it ain good.
It also feels like nothinig has happened in these last 5 days but looking over my personal journal it's been immense. I had a relative get ill and there was no one around so i had to step up and be, for all intents and purposes, a nurse. had a hot friend come from out of town who i was flirting with constantly, I crossed lines which i never would have gotten away with before and it was all fun. I went out as well with complete strangers from work and was generally making everyone laugh.
Still my brain feels lethargic, hard to concentrate and get into gear with mental activity. i get stuck with oneits on more than one girl at the same time lol, i'm just afraid of losing them, and the desire to be in a relationship, to have that comfort is strong.
I went to an RSD event and i heard some really interesting and useful things. One of these was to eliminate the need for completion and comfort. it just ain gonna happen. I think you meet a girl and you get love and validation and it's intoxicating. In a cold ass worldd ther'es nothing warmer, its like heroine. then you start dwelling getting stuckj and before you know it you're needy.
Same goes for work. Wanting validation you just wan to get to the end - to feel safe. then because you get stuck or things don't go according to plan you can negatively spiral because your vision of completion is jeopordised, and you get nothing done!
ergh. i need to see my tapping coach again. or try pstech again. just don't feel like i have the brain power to do it alone though.
Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
