08-20-2014, 07:33 AM
Resistance is still there, it's more disturbing this time. seriously last night it felt like my brain wast trying to kill me. Again though, my ability to face this is stronger, perhaps that's why my brain is letting me face more.
I agree with Maniac. Wanting to do something else is is likely to be just more resistance and will possibly hold back results if you don't conciously decide to let it go and let your sub do it's thing.
My feeling, and this is yet to be proven fully with experience, is that my problem with the first run is i ignored my concious responsibility to work with the subs in the thought that it was all to just be done to me.
Based on some things that Shannon and others have said about 'taking the brakes off', I have to think at every point of serious resistance, what's stopping me being an alpha male.
this has raised a lot. there are so many reasons i don't want to be. More responsibility, the danger of standing out, being attacked, ridiculed, not good enough, not worthy enough, not intelligent enough - the list can go on.
because of this the attitude to resistance is different, taking it as an invitation to reveal the blocks and actively clear through and DECIDE to over come it has helped with progress alot.
I got some gut wrenching news in being passed up for a promotion. some people at work think i'm no good, damn if that doesn't hurt but i can decide whether it will push me over the edge or not. I decide that it's the chance i need to stop caring, because it is the excessive concern about other's opinions that kills my performance, along side the lack of care for my own opinion and the lack of steadfastness of my own values. It's the perfect opportunity to decide to be alpha, to self-validate, move on and take the lesson.
Similarly a girl i'm meeting seemed to go off me - i showed weakness, when i was in a low state, I had to make the choice to let it go; she actually came to me soon after being all sweet again, i had to tell her to go because i was busy - not because I was trying to be a d*ck but because I'd made the choice to prioritise about what's important to me.
Anyway - that's just my experience so far, for what ever it's worth, sometimes the price of changing is that you have ACTIVELY to give up what you were.
I agree with Maniac. Wanting to do something else is is likely to be just more resistance and will possibly hold back results if you don't conciously decide to let it go and let your sub do it's thing.
My feeling, and this is yet to be proven fully with experience, is that my problem with the first run is i ignored my concious responsibility to work with the subs in the thought that it was all to just be done to me.
Based on some things that Shannon and others have said about 'taking the brakes off', I have to think at every point of serious resistance, what's stopping me being an alpha male.
this has raised a lot. there are so many reasons i don't want to be. More responsibility, the danger of standing out, being attacked, ridiculed, not good enough, not worthy enough, not intelligent enough - the list can go on.
because of this the attitude to resistance is different, taking it as an invitation to reveal the blocks and actively clear through and DECIDE to over come it has helped with progress alot.
I got some gut wrenching news in being passed up for a promotion. some people at work think i'm no good, damn if that doesn't hurt but i can decide whether it will push me over the edge or not. I decide that it's the chance i need to stop caring, because it is the excessive concern about other's opinions that kills my performance, along side the lack of care for my own opinion and the lack of steadfastness of my own values. It's the perfect opportunity to decide to be alpha, to self-validate, move on and take the lesson.
Similarly a girl i'm meeting seemed to go off me - i showed weakness, when i was in a low state, I had to make the choice to let it go; she actually came to me soon after being all sweet again, i had to tell her to go because i was busy - not because I was trying to be a d*ck but because I'd made the choice to prioritise about what's important to me.
Anyway - that's just my experience so far, for what ever it's worth, sometimes the price of changing is that you have ACTIVELY to give up what you were.
Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
