12-08-2011, 03:56 PM
Stage 5 Day 2
Hey guys, its been a while. I feel different. I realize that's about as vague as I can possibly be, but I just can't find the words to describe what's happened to me. When I look back at the person I used to be my mind imdiataely says things like "weak, pathetic, not good enough." As far as resistance goes, stage 5 was the quickest to bring it up. After only 1 day I felt so stir crazy I went and ran around the block...with half a foot of snow on the ground. Lol. So that was interesting to say the least. I'm still hoping the Zen attitude gets stronger. I have felt less affected by things other people say, but I have noticed a somewhat increase in social anxiety. But once again, I feel as if I am at a loss on how to describe it. Its as if the anxitey is there, but some part of me feels detached from it. On a brighter note, I will be moving out of my parents house for the first time in a few days, so I have that to look forward to.
For fun, a few of my friends and I decided to make a parody swimsuit calendar for my friend's fian'cee. It had pictures of me and a few of my friends doing ridiculous poses with small amounts of clothing on. For some reason I was feeling extremely daring and decided "hey, it seems like a really good idea to take a picture of me with his fian'cee's name written on my chest in whipped cream." So we did it. And gave her the calendar. The picture is not what I would call "sexy" (hilarious, maybe). But somehow, I went from being the person in our group of friends who she was least attracted to, to the person she was most attracted to. Also, her roommate who I had a class with previously, has become very flirtatious with me. I've been told multiple times that she mentions how hot I am quite often (and she's pretty good looking herself). It's also funny because I always got the vibe that she didn't like me when we had class together. So that's new, and something I'm really not used to
All in all, I'm feeling very dissatisfied and confused right now. I'm sure it's related to it being very early in stage 5 ( I have felt large amounts of resistance for the beginning each of the stages) and it should level off. I'll try to be more consistent with posts now to.
-Victor
Hey guys, its been a while. I feel different. I realize that's about as vague as I can possibly be, but I just can't find the words to describe what's happened to me. When I look back at the person I used to be my mind imdiataely says things like "weak, pathetic, not good enough." As far as resistance goes, stage 5 was the quickest to bring it up. After only 1 day I felt so stir crazy I went and ran around the block...with half a foot of snow on the ground. Lol. So that was interesting to say the least. I'm still hoping the Zen attitude gets stronger. I have felt less affected by things other people say, but I have noticed a somewhat increase in social anxiety. But once again, I feel as if I am at a loss on how to describe it. Its as if the anxitey is there, but some part of me feels detached from it. On a brighter note, I will be moving out of my parents house for the first time in a few days, so I have that to look forward to.
For fun, a few of my friends and I decided to make a parody swimsuit calendar for my friend's fian'cee. It had pictures of me and a few of my friends doing ridiculous poses with small amounts of clothing on. For some reason I was feeling extremely daring and decided "hey, it seems like a really good idea to take a picture of me with his fian'cee's name written on my chest in whipped cream." So we did it. And gave her the calendar. The picture is not what I would call "sexy" (hilarious, maybe). But somehow, I went from being the person in our group of friends who she was least attracted to, to the person she was most attracted to. Also, her roommate who I had a class with previously, has become very flirtatious with me. I've been told multiple times that she mentions how hot I am quite often (and she's pretty good looking herself). It's also funny because I always got the vibe that she didn't like me when we had class together. So that's new, and something I'm really not used to
All in all, I'm feeling very dissatisfied and confused right now. I'm sure it's related to it being very early in stage 5 ( I have felt large amounts of resistance for the beginning each of the stages) and it should level off. I'll try to be more consistent with posts now to.
-Victor
