I've had some ups and downs lately maybe even a bit of resistance but had something interesting happen to me psychologically over the weekend. One of my biggest fears with women is ending up in that dreaded friends zone. This happened to me more times that I would like to admit when I was younger. I think it actually screwed me up pretty bad because some of the girls I really liked and it seemed like I wasn't good enough for them. Anyways a chain of events happened over the weekend that revolved around this idea. I had been talking to this girl on and off for a few weeks and I was getting the hint that she just wanted to be friends. So I was like I’m not going to waste my time, money and energy here. Which makes sense because I wasn’t looking for a friendship. I ignored her for a while but she started messaging me again. I had a few drinks Saturday afternoon/evening then she messaged me asking what I was doing. Anyways I didn’t hold anything back I told her I wasn’t interested in being her friend and that I’m not that guy. She said it was her fault/issues that she was being that way and I think we are going to hang out sometime soon.
However, that is still not the point of this post. I think OF started doing something to me at this point. I got home from my day out and started reflecting on why I get so angry when women just want to be friends. At the end of the day they are just people. I think a combination of society, my friends and my family have created a belief system in my head that is no longer useful or needed. At this point I was still having a good day so I decided to call this girl that I used to have a thing with many years ago before I broke it off. She had reached out to me a few months ago saying she wanted to be friends and we should hang out. She is married now with seven kids. Not something that seemed to have much value or interest to me when she contacted me but Saturday was different. She wanted me to come over when I called and I went over to her house and we spend a couple hours catching up. I had no interest in having sex with her nor did I feel like I needed to. This was very strange for me it was like a certain pressure was gone and it felt liberating. It’s hard to put into words the experience and realizations that seemed to be going through my head that night but I knew it was a result of OF. Something seemed to change deep down in me and I strongly believe I’m going to have better and more successful relationships in the future.
However, that is still not the point of this post. I think OF started doing something to me at this point. I got home from my day out and started reflecting on why I get so angry when women just want to be friends. At the end of the day they are just people. I think a combination of society, my friends and my family have created a belief system in my head that is no longer useful or needed. At this point I was still having a good day so I decided to call this girl that I used to have a thing with many years ago before I broke it off. She had reached out to me a few months ago saying she wanted to be friends and we should hang out. She is married now with seven kids. Not something that seemed to have much value or interest to me when she contacted me but Saturday was different. She wanted me to come over when I called and I went over to her house and we spend a couple hours catching up. I had no interest in having sex with her nor did I feel like I needed to. This was very strange for me it was like a certain pressure was gone and it felt liberating. It’s hard to put into words the experience and realizations that seemed to be going through my head that night but I knew it was a result of OF. Something seemed to change deep down in me and I strongly believe I’m going to have better and more successful relationships in the future.
Sub history approximate total usage in months: ASC 5G -2.5 / EPRHA 5G - 3 / LTU 5G – 9 / AM 5G – 13 / E2 5.5G – 15 / DMSI 5.5G – 4 / LTU 5.5G – 11 / UMS 5.75G – 3 / OF V2 5.75G - 1.5 / E4 5.75G - 9.25 / OF V3 5.75G - Current
