6G bonanza J & RM vol. 2 (OGSF v3)

[Have at ye]

Day 40/93, OGSF v3

Had some dreams indicative of GSF removal happening, I think. It was kinda pleasant this time around. That "core trauma" does make itself apparent from time to time through wonky sensations and such, so I guess it could still take some time for it to become healed finally.

Doing some experiments and such. Trying to get my butt back into gear for proper singing practice.

[Have at ye]

Day 41/93, OGSF v3

Very intense dreams, somewhat disturbing this time around. But I think they're indicative of progress. Wonky sensations a little bit more apparent. Continuing!

[Have at ye]

Day 42/93, OGSF v3

Gradually becoming more active, gearing my butt up into gear for singing practice.

Had a bit of a "OMG I hate myself so much" moment yesterday evening but it passed after I got some sleep in.

Weight-loss seems to be progressing slowly but surely, though.

[Have at ye]

Day 42/93, OGSF v3 continued

So I guess I can reveal what I've been up to recently - I got a singing gig at the biggest opera house in town, heh. A lady-friend from my uni days recommended me. Haven't yet signed the contract, but I've already received an e-mail asking to confirm availability and a call from the assistant costume designer asking for my measurements and pics. So I guess it's happening. Kewl!

Very happy about that because I've been frustrated with lack of professional progress singing-wise. Also, the crew I'll be working with seems fine and includes a number of buddies from my uni days, good people (most of them - with the exception of one gal, but eh).

I'll be doing a bit of an intermission in OGSFing during rehearsals and switch back to OSC + DRS v2 for the duration (so for about a week around the 20th, next month). I'm not showing my bubbly butt in that place without shields up (and I won't mind the added self-confidence. As well as a break from OGSF ).

Also signed up for an audition next week, hoping to get an invite.

It's very good because this has given me an impulse to get my butt back in gear. Additional motivation and all that.

[Have at ye]

Day 43/93, OGSF v3

Got the score for that gig, agreed to the fee (it's pretty good, especially since there isn't all that much to sing there TBH, lol), going there tomorrow for the designer chick to take my measurements, waiting for contracts to get signed. Getting my butt in gear to get some proper work done and return to regular pratice, because now I've got something to work towards.

OGSFing is still progressing, liking it. Feelin' better because now I've got interesting stuff to do which takes my mind off OGSF.

Signed up for a dance-retreat run by designee "dancer chick with dat ass" as I haven't had a proper vacation in years, it's gonna be in July, so maybe we'll get DMSI 6g by then, who knows. Otherwise I'm gonna test X4A (for science). Plenty of attractive dancer-chicks at such retreats.

(Oh yeah, I'll be running two loops DRS v2 before going there tomorrow. It's hostile territory, lol )

[Have at ye]

Day 44/93, OGSF v3

Continuing. Feeling a bit sleepy/lazy still, but I've got places to be and things to do. Had a pretty productive day yesterday - went to this one meetup even though I did not really feel like it but it was nice, reconnected with a lovely lady (let's call her "hippy dancer chick") and so. Getting back to work.

[Have at ye]

Day 44/93, OGSF v3 - continued

The fittings went off without a hitch, just had the scores printed and getting to work (first rehearsal week starts June 20th, hopefully we're only going to work on the music itself).

Feeling kinda down/sad most of the time. Unpleasant memories trigger from time to time and then I get even sadder and a little bit depressed/self-conscious, and then I have to employ willpower in order to go and do things that need doing. But I guess it's part of OGSFing, hopefully this effect will lessen as it progresses further.

When I do get around to doing things take my mind off things and I feel okay, but it's kinda exhausting.

[Have at ye]

Day 45/93, OGSF v3

Halfway there, pretty much.

Feeling kinda decent after I've had some sleep. Doing my thing. Still feeling kinda sad/down, a little bit stressed out even - but it's probably that I'm performing all the OGSF and trauma clearing right now, so it's probably due to this process.

Getting to work today on the singing stuff.

[Have at ye]

Day 46/93, OGSF v3

Singing pratice went very well today. I did have to kinda will myself into going to do it because I felt kinda off and bad beforehand. OGSFing is working hard, kinda to the point of distraction even. But, well, it's doing its thing, I guess. Can't wait to be done with it, though.