Alpha naturalself

[naturalself]

I started approaching girls today

something I've been trying to do for years, and i don't know if I EVER have.

it went o.k. -- i feel AMAZING though

I am experimenting---

First girl I told her was beautiful (she was a 10).. it was awkward, I was nervous. I'd like to eventually be more direct, but I think I need to learn more basic conversation skills first. I have had social anxiety a long time.

Second girl super into me and down to talk - very cool relaxed vibe, I ended the conversation after a while, probably could've kept going and gotten her number but it was out of my comfort zone and my goal now is to just talk and get comfortable with that - numbers will follow

Third girl it was fairly awkward conversationally because I sounded nervous, was really into her..., but the body language was really intense and open, and i could feel she was turned on despite my lack of smoothness.



However I learned a LOT from this -- one that it's not that big of a deal, even to fail - I wasn't hit that hard by any of the girl's negative reactions. I feel very indifferent to the outcome.. it still takes a lot for me to get the nerve up to take action though at this point.

Going to try and do this every day (indirect for now). I think I will learn fast now that i'm just doing it... Experience is our best teacher


Getting a bit fed up with my job, thinking about how to start my own business, going to start taking action on that. Getting more serious about working out, about to buy whey, etc. Much more focused on doing what I love, been reading "On the Road" by Keruoac, very into poetry, music, dance, trying to express myself more fully. I want to live a beautiful, free life. I feel it starting to happen. I think the sub is having an impact

[naturalself]

last day of stage 1

hard to document what exactly changed, went through some very intense emotional stuff about my sexuality, a porn binge... that was all very negative, but ended in me being much more honest with some close friend s(a very important part of being alpha) and if I can be honest with them, being honest with any new people will be easy.

feel much clearer on what I have to do work wise.. more motivated for my career... feel motivated to just constantly take action on things, and when I don't I get very discontented.

been working out still, starting to feel very strong.

feeling less guilt about certain things, looking less to others for "how to be"

haven't been out much, so haven't talked to many women in the last week, but started to feel that the women thing is easy in comparison to the real task at hand (carving out a successful career as an artist, doing my work my way). Will start approaching more when I get back into the city (out with parents now) but I'm not worried about it too much. when we go deep enough into our purpose rejection doesn't hurt so much -- and that is really the only fear at play here... rejection.

I decided I really only want to be with girls that I really like (whether that's one, two, or three ;-) ) but I'm willing to be patient to find them. Just have to meet a bunch and screen. they don't have to be perfect, but have to understand what I'm about, be very feminine and receptive sexually, and be intellectually interesting.

In the meantime I'm focused on creating the kind of life where I am absolutely fulfilled, strong, and excited without women at all, because we can only really give ourselves happiness. then women start flocking I've seen it before in the times of my life where I was really 'on'-- just trying now to figure out what's keeping me from staying in that place and making the changes.

[naturalself]

Nearing the end of stage 2. It has been a HELL/HEAVEN of a month!

---Came out as Bi to friends, parents (and myself)

---If my guilt about sexuality, porn, etc. was at a 10 before, it's a 2 or so now

---very sexual vibe when I go on subway, both men and women are like "wtf" sometimes I can see.. lots of eye contact etc. I feel very very open energetically

---relationships with all of my friends changing. I am more open, don't care what they think. people that used to be "alpha" over me I feel we have a more even relationship now, i can see them looking for my approval. I am very sexual, and both men and women love it. Even the men that aren't attracted to me still feel more comfortable around me because those lower chakras are more open, I am more grounded, and I am more comfortable with my darkness (making sexual jokes, etc.)

---if my neediness with women before was an 8, it's a 2 now. I am still very much attracted but I don't think about what I'm texting them, when I"ll see them etc. There are a couple women who I know I will see soon once they message me... and while i look forward there is absolutely no sense of needing it to happen. I feel like i have a lot to GIVE them, not as much trying to Get

---Feel I am very much living life more on my own terms - started with coming out but is spreading into other aspects of my life. I feel like a leader in the making, and I am caring much less about what society thinks. This confidence will leak into my career/art

---Feel much more spiritually free even while doing mundane things. there is a different energy in my apartment now. I envision it as a place where people can come and be themselves and be free and honest

--more effortlessly making smalltalk with people on sidewalk, in apt building, in checkout line, etc. --- without trying... Just feeling my body, and the vibe, and observing--- and then sometimes words come out. very natural. Still a work in progress (I grew up as a very "in my head" person--- like anyone else on this forum I imagine.. hah)

--feel much more worthy when I see someone I'm attracted to, and I'm making less excuses (she'd think i'm too young, she'd think i'm too poor, he wouldn't think i'm strong enough... w/e... )


Perhaps I can credit the program with the speed of my progress, but what really opened up my energy and has changed my life is coming out, and a few sexual experiences with men. Will be interested to see where the program takes me now that my energy has freed up. I have also been practicing key sound MMO (which is freeing up my sexual energy quite a bit), and I have had a couple therapy sessions. I may go regularly if I find someone to help free up some of the remaining guilt/shame around my sexuality. I think the program is doing a lot though.

I am not sure how this program affects bisexual, but shannon says it's safe to use with homosexuals, so I assume it's safe for me. I haven't experienced any negative effects (and very little resistance even last couple weeks), and my sexuality with both men and women has been amped up. :-)


What's next?: really focus and buckle down on my work. has been a very emotionally freeing month.


I should add: I feel that perhaps the program is what pushed me to come out --- I feel something pushing me to be honest all the time... and the more honest I get the better my life gets

[ffaux]

Nice one man. Congratulations on coming out. That must have been weighing you down tremendously!

[Leo1990]

I think its definitely freeing to come out- I remember doing a month of eprah and felt a similar feeling.

I did tell a friend of mine (shes bi) that I felt I was too. I wondered for awhile though that if it was just porn twisting your interests- it does have a tendency to do that. Since being on AM6 and on stage 3, I haven't felt much interest (well to say that I thought I was for instance a 20/80 ratio to guys/girls) but after I started AM6 I haven't felt much of anything. Ive gone out on a date that went alright... (I was a bit rusty), she said she wanted to go out again- but I really have no motivation to do so.

What other programs have you used? I see alot of people have ridiculous results sometimes in the beginning.

Funny how I dont even have a desire to watch porn anymore and sometimes after 4-6 days ill take a look...


Honesty is the best policy!

[naturalself]

I think its definitely freeing to come out- I remember doing a month of eprah and felt a similar feeling.

I did tell a friend of mine (shes bi) that I felt I was too. I wondered for awhile though that if it was just porn twisting your interests- it does have a tendency to do that. Since being on AM6 and on stage 3, I haven't felt much interest (well to say that I thought I was for instance a 20/80 ratio to guys/girls) but after I started AM6 I haven't felt much of anything. Ive gone out on a date that went alright... (I was a bit rusty), she said she wanted to go out again- but I really have no motivation to do so.

What other programs have you used? I see alot of people have ridiculous results sometimes in the beginning.

Funny how I dont even have a desire to watch porn anymore and sometimes after 4-6 days ill take a look...


Honesty is the best policy!

yea i wondered about porn making me interested in men but
after some experiences it became clear for me personally it's a lot deeper... so coming out was amazing. I still have some people to tell, and with each person you get an increasing freedom... it makes it so much easier to be honest about everything else too.

for me porn use going down but even when I use it's less harmful in a sense. a lot of my issue with porn was also my issue with my bisexuality tied together. now that I accept it more porn doesn't carry quite the same guilt (though it doesn't make me feel good, per say)

i haven't used much from here. ASC for couple weeks... and Alpha male a couple years ago for first stage and a half and quit. that's it. but i've done a lot of spiritual practices, natural grounding, some affirmations (which seem so silly to me at this point.. that was also another way of avoiding myself, though I did see positive results as well)



not much desire to date... although I do have a quasi-relationship with a man right now that is fulfilling some need. but I'm just enjoying working and filling my extra time with friends.. all my friendships becoming much more colorful with more honesty. there is a girl I really like (who's also down for open relationships) but it seems to be a very slow moving thing (if anything at all - as of now we are "friends") which is fine.

[naturalself]

At this point I am having doubts of whether this program has done anything. I seem to have been having major placebo in the beginning. I feel pretty good these days, and am pretty focused on my work, but it does not feel in an "alpha male" way --- I am attributing it more to my meditating and becoming more honest with my friends/family

I have had a fling or two, and they were fun but women don't seem to be treating me dramatically differently than before the program. I get a lot of looks on the train, etc. but I always did.

To be honest, the idea of being an alpha male seems kind of stupid now. Why not just be myself? The best i can be -- work hard, healthy, not afraid to engage socially if she/he seems really worth my time, take risks. I'm not sure we should need subliminals to accomplish this--- it seems very natural with some contemplation/meditation.

I am going to finish the program because shannon recommends it, and I paid the money and am keeping an open mind. I have been through a lot these months, so if the program IS doing anything, I probably haven't given it a chance to stabilize. If at the end I feel it may have done something, even a bit, I will probably rerun it for the hell of it (it's a lot of money) --if not I will be getting that refund and say goodbye to this site.

[AlphaRomeo]

Man,
I just found your journal and I had to read all the posts in a row. I like how you express yourself and how you are being honest about who you are and where you come from (and where you are "going"). I did a lot of spiritual work in some phases of my life too asking myself questions that many times I was uncomfortable to answer/get answered to...finding over the years that, as Nietzsche puts it, "He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you.", to the point where I became obsessed about spirituality while pushing the nature of myself away that was trying to express the basic human needs, becoming a "spiritual monster" that was not capable to show much respect nor sympathy towards the human nature. Sex and sexuality being one of those fundamental human aspects. Before I started to ask those questions for myself I was very shallow and materialistic. Then I went too far towards the other end of the spectrum for years...(just thought to share since, being artist myself, I can feel the connection...)

...without any further ranting, there are many techniques and methodologies to bring the balance in ones life and enhance it, and like you said one should not become a slave to any technology. I feel Shannon´s subs are one of the best methodoligies /technology out there, but it can vary depending on individual of course...I hope you find what is best for you, and I hope that you do get a lot out of these subs...and please keep writing your journal, I really enjoy reading it as it is refreshingly different than most other AM journals.

Know thyself, and be yourself...go create great art, and make your own life the greatest masterpiece of them all

[ffaux]

To be honest, the idea of being an alpha male seems kind of stupid now. Why not just be myself? The best i can be -- work hard, healthy, not afraid to engage socially if she/he seems really worth my time, take risks. I'm not sure we should need subliminals to accomplish this--- it seems very natural with some contemplation/meditation.

What you're describing seems a lot like the effects of AM6 to me

[naturalself]

starting stage 4 today.

Started reading john alexander's book, want to make sure I do this to the directions. i read David D's earlier. didn't really like it, but nonetheless it does paint a picture in our head. I think I will try to read alexander's 5 times at least. after that I may find other materials that resonate more (i like david deida's way of superior man for example). I want to see how the reading affects the process.

I am meditating 1 hr a day, qigong 1 hour a day, working on my art all the rest of the day. doing a tiny bit of natural grounding when I get restless. Started working out again "convict conditioning"

I am going to buy clothes, hopefully today.. just one week's worth. Stylish.

Been feeling more "alpha" the the last few days, after some very intense anxiety/release

[naturalself]

Major changes

I am starting to feel like a pimp. The feeling in my body has changed. Women that would've used to ignore me are looking at me. I bought new clothes and will continue to update my look.. Might buy some kind of gold/bronze necklace soon. I started convict conditioning - that is enough exercise for me and keeps me feeling masculine.. blood pumping. I am hornier and I can feel some women getting horny with me if I am sitting close to them (subway, etc.)

I am able to visualize sex with women much more vividly which makes me confident it will happen again soon. There is currently one woman i can call up to have sex ( and a few I think could happen soon) but I am more interested in meeting new partners, preferably long term material.

While I was experimenting with men I lost a lot of my drive for women, so that probably interfered with the program. I am feeling very straight again. I am open to either and accept my sexuality, but I do like something about feeling masculine much better. The Power. I have stopped jacking off and being with dudes (it just sort of happened - no force). I think retaining that energy has made me feel more virility and desire for women.

I feel a lot less needy. It comes in waves but I usually do a lot of meditation until it's gone. The more waves of this neediness are released the more I feel very free. I also am having a lot easier time socializing with people on train. I am trying to do as in alexander's book - just get in the habit of talking to people for the sake of it.

I attribute this growth to many many hours of meditation, which seems to have released some intense resistance, and also reading alexander's book. which i'm going to try to do weekly for the rest of the program. Also stage 4 feels different.

[naturalself]

Smoked some weed last night, and it kind of fucked up my vibe

brought up lots of emotions too fast for me to deal with, blurred up my aura, made me lazy about some of the things i've been changing upon waking, made me wake up really late which lets me not meditate. wasted energy. It was fun though.. ha.

if I want to make the fastest changes I"ll have to drop it, which is fine by me. I think the subliminals may work faster the more of our (spiritual) energy we conserve, and that is a big wastage.

[dissonance]

How many hours a day do you meditate? And what method of meditation do you do?

I do meditation too, but only 20 minutes each time around, and somewhere between 1-4 sessions a day.

[naturalself]

Started stage 5 on the 31st.

don't feel much from it now -- in fact I'm not sure how much different I feel since i even started the program. I've had waves where things changed temporarily.. but I also had that before using the program. I will stick it through and assess at end.