12-28-2018, 01:44 AM
Day 42
I could not post due to several reasons. I had a foreign delegation to cater to and spend almost a full week with them only coming home to sleep. Then I had guests at home and traveled to a hill station for vacation.
I also had this feeling of being bottled up inside. I had a dream that I want to go to toilet and sat on the WC but it was all open from around. An office colleague was standing and talking to me and looking towards my bum. I was too scared to relieve myself. This is a dream I had seen several times in the past and while using E2 I had a dream that I was pissing in public without any fear. I am now thinking that this fear of expression is coming back. Ever since I shifted from E2 to USLM3, I have this feeling on several occasions that I was enjoying E2 better. With USLM3 I have this irritability, impatience, botheration of not achieving my goals. I am working and taking the necessary steps but there seems to be this impasse I would say.
On the business side, i made some progress but when i talked to my consultant / mentor it turned out be a false progress. I had to start again on lets say stage 2. I am still working on stage 2, making sloooooooow progress. it seems I will take forever to finish this part.
On the foreign training side, I had talked to my senior and he principally agreed that I should receive the training. I am not getting too hopeful, because I got a positive response in the past also but nothing materialized in the end.
On sexual performance, I am talking medicines and multi vitamins and also trying to drink more water. Due to one reason or another, I was unable to have sex.
I have participated in some lucky draws and I am keeping my fingers crossed to see if I win anything. The result will come tomorrow.
I have this feeling that the sub does not influence the outside events. It works on my inner self and maybe makes me positive and optimistic in every thought so that I think positive and attract positive things. That's just a feeling I have. Lets see what happens.
I could not post due to several reasons. I had a foreign delegation to cater to and spend almost a full week with them only coming home to sleep. Then I had guests at home and traveled to a hill station for vacation.
I also had this feeling of being bottled up inside. I had a dream that I want to go to toilet and sat on the WC but it was all open from around. An office colleague was standing and talking to me and looking towards my bum. I was too scared to relieve myself. This is a dream I had seen several times in the past and while using E2 I had a dream that I was pissing in public without any fear. I am now thinking that this fear of expression is coming back. Ever since I shifted from E2 to USLM3, I have this feeling on several occasions that I was enjoying E2 better. With USLM3 I have this irritability, impatience, botheration of not achieving my goals. I am working and taking the necessary steps but there seems to be this impasse I would say.
On the business side, i made some progress but when i talked to my consultant / mentor it turned out be a false progress. I had to start again on lets say stage 2. I am still working on stage 2, making sloooooooow progress. it seems I will take forever to finish this part.
On the foreign training side, I had talked to my senior and he principally agreed that I should receive the training. I am not getting too hopeful, because I got a positive response in the past also but nothing materialized in the end.
On sexual performance, I am talking medicines and multi vitamins and also trying to drink more water. Due to one reason or another, I was unable to have sex.
I have participated in some lucky draws and I am keeping my fingers crossed to see if I win anything. The result will come tomorrow.
I have this feeling that the sub does not influence the outside events. It works on my inner self and maybe makes me positive and optimistic in every thought so that I think positive and attract positive things. That's just a feeling I have. Lets see what happens.
E1 182 days: E2 127 days: USLM3 317 days: UMS 210 days...