11-19-2018, 02:27 PM
Hey guys,
I haven't been to this site in a long time. I don't regret it or anything but I feel like I should come back and start reporting again every now and then. Here's my story for the last year or so.
Last Autumn I've been on Tinder a bit and there I met my gf. Cute, shy, nicest person I've ever met. Solid 8/10 if she had confidence to show her beauty outwards, but her body language, choice of clothes and overall lack of care for herself made her 6-7/10. But I took a shot with her because why not, what do I have to lose? At that time I thought she was perfect for me. A far cry from my crazy ex I lost so much sanity over. But after a year of knowing her, after me taking her virginity, after taking a trip around Europe etc. I feel empty around her. I've been drifting away from her since about July and I cannot help it.
A couple of weeks ago she broke to tears when after I didn't want to bring her to my house after a premature end of go-out with her friends. She said she needs some rest from me and that I should not escort her home. At first I was angry, she might be mad at me for something stupid but I'm a man and I'll make sure she gets home safe. But she was persistent, so I let it go. The next day she wrote in apologizing. I declined, assured her she needs this rest. Ever since I've been cold towards her. We met twice since then and I didn't even want to hug her. We didn't break up yet, but in my mind I'm single again.
I don't want to end things like that but what am I to do? With every fiber of my body I feel that's not it. Problem is she's extremely into me and I don't want to break her heart. Throughout this year I tried to improve her self-esteem and I failed, but break-up will make her much worse than she was before. Still I will not try to save her and I will let this relationship die.
All this year I've been listening to the DMSI on and off, when I felt like it. That was a mistake I think. For like week or two now I listen to it every night as per instructions again and I'm not sure if it helps or not. It surely gives me comfort though and that's important.
Before I started using subs I was pathetic, lacking self-esteem virgin. Now I'm ending relationships simply because I'm not fulfilled in them. I would have never believed that way back when! But there is still huge room for improvements, if I were to make a list I would stop right away simply out of being overwhelmed. However, if I do things slow but steady, step after step, I will find the fulfillment I seek. Lonesome or with someone by my side, that makes little difference for me right now. It's about travel, not the destination.
Thank you all for your support throughout all my runs: Alpha Male, DMSI and surely some more subs I forgot about. I'm a different man because of subs and you and I hope maybe I'll be able to give some back to the community.
I haven't been to this site in a long time. I don't regret it or anything but I feel like I should come back and start reporting again every now and then. Here's my story for the last year or so.
Last Autumn I've been on Tinder a bit and there I met my gf. Cute, shy, nicest person I've ever met. Solid 8/10 if she had confidence to show her beauty outwards, but her body language, choice of clothes and overall lack of care for herself made her 6-7/10. But I took a shot with her because why not, what do I have to lose? At that time I thought she was perfect for me. A far cry from my crazy ex I lost so much sanity over. But after a year of knowing her, after me taking her virginity, after taking a trip around Europe etc. I feel empty around her. I've been drifting away from her since about July and I cannot help it.
A couple of weeks ago she broke to tears when after I didn't want to bring her to my house after a premature end of go-out with her friends. She said she needs some rest from me and that I should not escort her home. At first I was angry, she might be mad at me for something stupid but I'm a man and I'll make sure she gets home safe. But she was persistent, so I let it go. The next day she wrote in apologizing. I declined, assured her she needs this rest. Ever since I've been cold towards her. We met twice since then and I didn't even want to hug her. We didn't break up yet, but in my mind I'm single again.
I don't want to end things like that but what am I to do? With every fiber of my body I feel that's not it. Problem is she's extremely into me and I don't want to break her heart. Throughout this year I tried to improve her self-esteem and I failed, but break-up will make her much worse than she was before. Still I will not try to save her and I will let this relationship die.
All this year I've been listening to the DMSI on and off, when I felt like it. That was a mistake I think. For like week or two now I listen to it every night as per instructions again and I'm not sure if it helps or not. It surely gives me comfort though and that's important.
Before I started using subs I was pathetic, lacking self-esteem virgin. Now I'm ending relationships simply because I'm not fulfilled in them. I would have never believed that way back when! But there is still huge room for improvements, if I were to make a list I would stop right away simply out of being overwhelmed. However, if I do things slow but steady, step after step, I will find the fulfillment I seek. Lonesome or with someone by my side, that makes little difference for me right now. It's about travel, not the destination.
Thank you all for your support throughout all my runs: Alpha Male, DMSI and surely some more subs I forgot about. I'm a different man because of subs and you and I hope maybe I'll be able to give some back to the community.
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4