11-12-2016, 05:18 PM
(11-12-2016, 05:06 PM)Cozy Wrote:(11-12-2016, 03:29 PM)Shannon Wrote:(11-12-2016, 12:42 PM)Cozy Wrote: Shannon, do you think believing you're high value is all you need to be high value?
You ask that question like it has a short or simple answer.
The first and primary step to being high value is going to be accepting yourself as having high value.
Most people consider themselves "high value" (in what way?) because someone else told them enough times that they are sexually attractive. In this sense, high value is determined by others, but they are only parroting what you express to the world (to a large degree).
You take the very same man, and put him in nice clothes, groom him, make him have good posture and give him confident body language and an attitude based on believing that he is as good as or better than anyone else in value, etc. and he will be universally rated many points higher on the attractiveness scale than that very same man who is sporting a mindset of failure, negativity, hopelessness, thinking he's worthless and ugly, etc., wearing dirty and ratty clothes, slumped over, unwashed....
So is he a 4 or an 8?
Looks do matter, but they are far from everything. And the looks you were born with can also be adjusted by these very factors. Why do you suppose I take the time every day to shave my head and face? It's because when I do, I am more physically attractive than when I don't. Why do I brush my teeth every day? Same thing. Mossy teeth are not attractive. But it's the exact same person.
Ultimately, only you can determine your actual value. Whether you determine it based on how others tell you you look and what value they assign you, or your own assessment, others will decide what you look like and how high value you are based on a lot of factors, and those all ultimately are based on what you think of yourself.
Even a scary ugly "1" can become a 3 or 4 by taking care of themselves, having the right attitude, and influencing others by showing them that they are more than just their looks.
Telling yourself you are "high value" and genuinely believing it independent of what anyone else says, does or thinks is a big difference. When it becomes genuinely true in your awareness and mind, it will eventually become true outside of you.
How important do you think positive reinforcement is, because I don't think anyone can get very far without it.
And by high value I don't just mean by women, by society as a whole.
Positive reinforcement is important depending on how well you have mastered your understanding of where your value actually comes from.
If your value pretends to come from within (internal), but really comes from what others say (external) then sure, positive reinforcement will be important and necessary.
If your value comes entirely from within, because it is your genuine and complete internal reality, then positive reinforcement externally is unnecessary. It is because it is. Mountains don't need valleys to remind them of or validate who and what they are.
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The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!