(07-09-2016, 06:58 AM)Dilettante Wrote: I am a hispanic-looking shorter asian man but I can relate to terry's and catman's dilemma. I don't get a lot of attention either. so yeah I don't have my +5 bonus either but I'm just as disadvantaged as white men in the dating game.
women like confidence and black men have self confidence whereas I willingly admit have doubts about myself. women in the west tend to be very self assured and confident this seeking a mate that supercedes her confidence.
it's also a pattern I've observed over and over, that black men, who are self confident (willing to approach hard and risk rejection) tend to go home with women from the club/bar/whatever at the end of the night. whereas my charming but demurred self goes home alone. It's definitely frustrating when women seem to choose the same type of guys over and over.
will you be discounting my experiences as stupid ass too?
You recognize that there's other elements in play, such as self-confidence. You openly admitted that you lack confidence and it prevents you from approaching women with the same level of boldness as your black peers. Dating is a high-risk (arguably) high-reward process. If you can't handle rejection, you won't succeed. As men, we're molded in the flames of rejection. We're mentally and physically built to withstand rejection and failure. Women couldn't handle the sheer amount of day-to-day rejection that we experience as men.
See the difference? Terry said that his black friends "weren't any better at pickup and didn't have better personalities," insinuating that race was the ONLY difference between them. While it may be frustrating, at least you're recognizing that there IS something you can work on and that's what turns the situation into a moment of mental and spiritual alchemy, rather than "why all da white wimmenz with da black menz."
But, I'll make myself clear: Screaming, "omg, you're discounting my experiences," means little to nothing to me because we're talking two different languages. I don't believe that every opinion is equal, I don't believe that every opinion has value, nor do I feel like I should respect everyone's opinion on virtue of "reasons".