05-17-2016, 01:51 PM
(05-17-2016, 12:44 PM)Lowe Wrote: Shannon, I have been looking into the Enneagram, and they pointed out Anger, Shame & Fear as the key issues for the respective personality "types". I have been thinking, doesn't anger seem like a bigger, more serious issue than guilt (considering that you focus on Guilt, Shame & Fear for your subliminals)?
I am just curious, as I know people who struggles with anger issues, but guilt is not something I feel to be terribly damaging. It would be interesting to hear your reasoning behind choosing it.
I don't think anger is any bigger of an issue than guilt, shame or fear. It's not necessarily any less of an issue, either, but it will depend on the person.
Guilt is just as damaging as any of them, but each personality/physiology type will be more susceptible and affected by/damaged by a particular one or two of them. Any of them can be as destructive as any of the others, but anger is generally, as far as I can see, best dealt with by growth, which my programs focus on heavily. To outgrow certain things is to deal with anger.
Also, I believe that anger is also a result of fear, whether directly or indirectly, in many cases. Fear of action to rectify something often produces anger as a response. For instance, let's say someone mugs you. They steal all your hard earned money and jewelry, at gunpoint. Fear is likely to prevent you from grabbing the gun and beating them silly with it; you want to stay alive. But when you are out of the situation in which fear potentially kept you alive, you feel angry that it happened that you got robbed, and possibly angry that you didn't beat the hell out of your mugger instead of give him your money and jewelry. In this case, anger is the result of fear.
But in all cases, anger is the result of resisting "what is". In the case above, "it is" that you got mugged. But is getting angry going to do anything but fill you with negative, corrosive and self destructive emotions? No. It's just going to destroy you. It makes no sense to get angry at something that "is", but which you cannot change. Therefore, the answer to anger, the correct answer, is self growth; outgrowing the tendency to respond this way when you cannot change "what is".
That is not to say that one should lay down in the road and let everyone walk and ride all over them. That is why the very same monks who ascribe the "accept what is" path, also frequently practice and master the martial arts at the same time.
Awareness is the key here; awareness of what anger really is, how it affects you, and what it does. It does nobody else any harm for you to get angry, but it is self destructive in the extreme. We must learn to find a balance between preventing ourselves from being used, abused, taken advantage of and otherwise mistreated, and getting angry. That balance is based in self awareness, maturity and self mastery. And these are things my programs are working towards.
As far as I can see, it is very rare to find anger that is not in some way the child of one of the other three (guilt, shame, fear) at it's root. And where it is found, it is generally due to pure uncontrollable victimization, where the person literally was helpless to stop or intervene in whatever mistreatment they were experiencing. By this I don't mean too afraid, I mean, literally prisoner of war, physically rendered helpless and abused type thing. But again, in that case, anger can be dealt with by outgrowing it, and that requires again, self awareness, self mastery and maturity. Accepting "what is" and choosing a positive path forward instead of the negative one. Living intentionally, which only people who are aware, mature and have self mastery do.
Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!