09-27-2023, 05:47 PM
I was thinking about what I wrote yesterday.
I realized that I have these intense emotions come up and I interpret it in a way that causes panic and fight and flight and wanting to run away from it. So I run away to porn, games, whatever.
But these feelings are almost a call to action, especially yesterday. It was telling me "You need to go and do more stuff instead of sitting at home". And instead i'm like "ah nope" and push it down with whatever coping mechanism. Though sometimes I do use it, but the problem is it's a weird cycle, like if I take girls for example the frustration might eventually get me to go out and go somewhere to meet them, then fear stops me from doing anything and even more frustration and intensity. So then I go home and it ends up with the same ending that isn't helping me and I know it's taking me further away from physical relationships, yet logically knowing it doesn't help.
I had a thought next time these intense feelings come up I need to sit with it quietly, and then ask myself "what can I channel these feelings into?". This might be going somewhere, creating something, doing some training or whatever. The idea of these feelings being a call to action come from the book I finished reading this morning "Turning Pro" by Steven Pressfield. Interesting timing for me to start reading it, because that idea rings true.
I realized that I have these intense emotions come up and I interpret it in a way that causes panic and fight and flight and wanting to run away from it. So I run away to porn, games, whatever.
But these feelings are almost a call to action, especially yesterday. It was telling me "You need to go and do more stuff instead of sitting at home". And instead i'm like "ah nope" and push it down with whatever coping mechanism. Though sometimes I do use it, but the problem is it's a weird cycle, like if I take girls for example the frustration might eventually get me to go out and go somewhere to meet them, then fear stops me from doing anything and even more frustration and intensity. So then I go home and it ends up with the same ending that isn't helping me and I know it's taking me further away from physical relationships, yet logically knowing it doesn't help.
I had a thought next time these intense feelings come up I need to sit with it quietly, and then ask myself "what can I channel these feelings into?". This might be going somewhere, creating something, doing some training or whatever. The idea of these feelings being a call to action come from the book I finished reading this morning "Turning Pro" by Steven Pressfield. Interesting timing for me to start reading it, because that idea rings true.
