11-28-2016, 11:51 AM
(This post was last modified: 11-28-2016, 11:53 AM by Mystic Pymp.)
(11-28-2016, 02:50 AM)Shannon Wrote: One thing you may be interested in is... DMSI, all versions, have an ego balancer. It's as powerful as the rest of the program. And in 3.0.1, it gets a direct upgrade and an indirect upgrade.
This may be it, Shannon. It's hard to say but recently I've been very open about myself to others (as well as to myself I guess), I can admit much more easily to mistakes and discuss what is actually wrong with me.
An example. My friend is writing to me all the time for the past couple of days to meet for a beer. I don't mind that normally, it's always a fun time with him, but I don't wanna drink in this emotional state. Normally I would just refuse him but no I'd rather explain him what is going on with me and I'm simply not in the mood for a drink. It's almost obvious but it shows how my thinking changed slightly, I wouldn't bother with explaining myself before unless I'd cancel a meeting.
I've met with my ex today and, despite my best, we broke totally and definitively. We agreed on 3 terms:
* We erase all promises and everything that would weight on our future relations, both good and ill memories,
* I will not avoid her (that was my go-to response during AM run as I was sick of her crap at that time). I don't plan to avoid her right now as it helps me recognize my irrational fears and problems, but if she's going to play with my emotions and hurt me I will cut all ties.
* She is not to flirt with me. She's done enough damage for my emotions and the last thing I'd agree to is getting some hope from this hopeless situation.
All in all this is probably the best I can get out of it. She's not going to change, she's unstable and volotile and while, as I said, this friendship might be of use for me yet there is no recovering for that. I am butthurt? A bit. But I still feel light years better than yesterday and if tomorrow something stupid won't get into my head it should only get better. I give myself a week for full emotional recovery from all the crap she has put me through for the last 9 months.
And what does it mean? That I can start DMSI as fully a free man, with no emotional ties, able to pursuit other women sexually without any shame or guilt that I'm ruining already ruined relationship! Rejoice!
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4