day 19
I notice an pattern in relation to people, an sort of reflection. It lifts something up. One example is seeing people smoke is an turn off which removes the urges completely in the moment.
Women I thought to be hotr before this sub are now somewjhat dull, nothing special and this is empowering. was pretty much centred at the gym, not giving an shit about people and doing my thing, which in turn made me very expressive and caused the ball to be rolling. In my head I reject them pretty much as of late, and yet this elevates me.
Made an appointment for an new haircut and the girl I formerly thought to be hot is now nothing special. yeah, nice blue eyes, blond, pegged down to an 7 at most. I see this possible spread further. Raising standards.
I have thoughts about masculine/male empowerment, becoming more cynical about people, thinking about dominance and submissiveness and its goes pretty far, stripping away many layers and it can get pretty dark at times, such as dark role play, agressiveness, girls getting turned on by gasping for air while kissing, being the boss and being cold. the shift from niceguy to something else has begun.
Its all so self-centred, focussed on myself, inner game, its very strong and its pushing through.
Will definitely do an second run of AM. Also understand the SM lead in and how SM will be an extention of AM. has to be the lead in. Reason for an second run is to deepen the programming in the end and improve masculinity aswell as independence, also I sense that AM pushes me that way, to become this fully rounded independent man. Still not finished my first run but the future visions are nothing but amazing ( aswell as the forcefull masculine fist on the table demanding commanding ) and can sense how it is changing me for the better. Not to mention, I feel pretty much conflicting right now, composure in public was off, thinking in split seconds about some women as "airheads"which is an big improvement, The external results, interests and what not will be an bonus as far as I'm concerned.
I notice an pattern in relation to people, an sort of reflection. It lifts something up. One example is seeing people smoke is an turn off which removes the urges completely in the moment.
Women I thought to be hotr before this sub are now somewjhat dull, nothing special and this is empowering. was pretty much centred at the gym, not giving an shit about people and doing my thing, which in turn made me very expressive and caused the ball to be rolling. In my head I reject them pretty much as of late, and yet this elevates me.
Made an appointment for an new haircut and the girl I formerly thought to be hot is now nothing special. yeah, nice blue eyes, blond, pegged down to an 7 at most. I see this possible spread further. Raising standards.
I have thoughts about masculine/male empowerment, becoming more cynical about people, thinking about dominance and submissiveness and its goes pretty far, stripping away many layers and it can get pretty dark at times, such as dark role play, agressiveness, girls getting turned on by gasping for air while kissing, being the boss and being cold. the shift from niceguy to something else has begun.
Its all so self-centred, focussed on myself, inner game, its very strong and its pushing through.
Will definitely do an second run of AM. Also understand the SM lead in and how SM will be an extention of AM. has to be the lead in. Reason for an second run is to deepen the programming in the end and improve masculinity aswell as independence, also I sense that AM pushes me that way, to become this fully rounded independent man. Still not finished my first run but the future visions are nothing but amazing ( aswell as the forcefull masculine fist on the table demanding commanding ) and can sense how it is changing me for the better. Not to mention, I feel pretty much conflicting right now, composure in public was off, thinking in split seconds about some women as "airheads"which is an big improvement, The external results, interests and what not will be an bonus as far as I'm concerned.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus