07-05-2016, 10:13 AM
(07-05-2016, 09:43 AM)Natious Wrote:(07-05-2016, 01:53 AM)LionKing Wrote:(07-05-2016, 12:22 AM)heavysm Wrote: [Observation of EPRHA 2.0 usage]
For other E 2.0 users, I'm wondering if anyone has felt or experienced an enhanced ability to manipulate their own energy. By this I mean either throwing it into your aura (or outside of yourself) or shifting it into different parts of your body at will (consciously).
Yes. I came across the visualization where you're circulating energy up your spine and down on the front some 1.5 years ago but dropped it later on. Lately, for some reason, I've been doing that a lot - more or less on autopilot. I can feel something fairly easily, and idk about charging my aura, but I can charge my state, and maybe view the world through that more aroused state a little.
Maybe I'll write more in my journal, but something interesting happened yesterday. I've been in a real funk for the last week or so; sad, depressed, weak, passive/reactive, no direction, wallowing, just want to sleep and all that. Then I sat down and thought long & hard about what it is that I want, and the answer is basically that I want to be free, directed (self-directing, self-actualized) and energized - especially using more sexual energy and anger, and focusing it and my attention instead of spreading it wide & weak in an effort to not NOT be polite. Very ASC/SM/AM ish. Not that I'd want to be angry all the time, but its like I feel this slight pressure of "you need to be good, quiet and content" all the time because my environment is 100% like that, so I feel I need some anger just to say **** you, I don't need to be subdued like this. Anyway, I went to that state and started listing out loud some accomplishments while pointing my finger "I did THIS, and I did THIS, and I did THIS!", and right then, in 1-2 seconds, I felt a slight pressure at the base of my spine, an energy going up to my head, and I was suddenly wide awake. It was just such a clear, immediate contrast, and I could feel it happening in real time. Really hammered that state in for the next 1-2 hours and I was so energized at 1AM I had to walk around and clap my hands and stuff the whole time. For the longest time I had a sense of direction again; made me really want to do ASC/AM/DMSI/SM. But I digress; the point was that I haven't felt such sensations so clearly before.
E: Also, I was thinking and sort of experimenting with how I'd communicate with people in this better state, and I noticed a lot of energy forming in my upper chest to throat area. As in, someone's in front of you and you're speaking to him/her, and your intent goes out to him/her in a direct line from those areas.
Interesting, this seems alike to my current experience with E2. Similar to yours, my journey is filled with a lot of apathy and depression. Late at night while almost falling asleep AND when waking up staying in bed are the moments when I discover a lot of things while reflecting on my thoughts.
I wonder if the depression will fade at any point, because it's a little debilitating. Maybe it's because I don't want to do the things I thought I did. Maybe it just accompanies big change and things that once seemed to matter, no longer do.
It's not easy seeing progress on E2, even thought there's constantly this feeling that something is indeed changing.
The weirdest thing is when some days I realize that I have changed in a particular way. The very next day it's no longer true. So is it change? Why the reversal?
The energy part I'm not sure about. Haven't really paid any attention to that.
Waking up and falling asleep is when the conscious and subconscious are at balance, and so communicate most easily between themselves.
Depression is, as far as I can see, usually caused by subconsciously feeling hopeless and/or angry. It is very likely that E2 is pushing you to deal with a fear you're trying hard to avoid, but can't. That could result in depression.
When you consciously notice a change and then the next day it's not true, what has happened is that you consciously changed back to what was previously, usually because the change scares you. Sometimes, changes need to be taken in baby steps, and occasionally, they need to be taken two steps forward, one step back.
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The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!