(02-07-2024, 02:02 AM)Benjamin Wrote: I agree that physicality is an important part of it, definately. I've been working on things such as playing with 'roughhousing' type stuff in my men's group, and also working out is a big part of it when that's flowing, then martial arts training.
Since not having a training partner and not doing my martial arts training for around 3 months I feel like i'm missing something important.
But through all of that my aim has been to develop a groundedness, not that over the top bullshit "look at me i'm tough" vibe that posers put on, but a calm and relaxed vibe that you project into the world, that also says "I'm a good guy, but don't fuck with me". I basically would call it a calm, strong groundedness that radiates from you naturally.. not the old over the top fake 'alpha' thing some guys try to put on where they try to intimidate and push everyone around that initially alot of us have been lead to believe is 'alpha'.
Being calm and grounded in uncomfortable situations or confrontations as opposed to losing your shit.
I personally would say that this groundedness you are talking about needs to be developed at the same time as the character/beliefs/programming. I say that because i've been to the level of being one of the most in shape guys in the gym with an impressive physique but still had deeper insecurities going on. Plus as much as martial training helps and I feel better when I do it, I haven't fully discovered how to take what comes from that into all situations which would be ideal.. just that calm groundedness and strong vibe, which I believe is due to insecurities, fears and deeper programming going on. So ideally I think both needs to be developed.
I personally haven't been able to find much body based training that is directly about connecting with Masculinity, such as Qigong or other things about getting into your body, and the occasional thing i've found that seems to be going towards that is full of bullshit like "balance your masculine and feminine equally" or "sensitivity is your strength" and other bs things that have seeped into the 'men's work' industry to weaken men.
Also recently i've found in my men's group that sitting around talking about things, 'sharing circle' and such actually seems like a detriment to me, and last time especially announcing my plans for the year discharged the energy around them in a negative way.. and that my physical training, roughhousing type practices, martial arts have done more to help me feel grounded as a man.
Something is still missing, but it's done more for me than sitting in a circle talking about things, and i've especially realized this since not having my regular training for 3 months.
Most of the so called 'men's work' industry is not helpful and actually a detriment to men. I've seen some incredibly bad and disgusting things some of them have been preaching that I won't go into here.
I've had good results from meditating on the root chakra, and focusing my attention on that area. both in silent meditation and with sounds in the frequency of it (check out meditative mind on YouTube).
From time to time I feel a "release" of energy in the area, almost in the wsy your stomach rumbles when you are hungry.
We collect tensions in our bodies and this make us rigid and tense, working on the root chakra has helped me slowly working trough those tensions. Can also recommend trauma releasing exercises, sometime I just get the feeling of shaking my body and legs like crazy and energy is released and I always feel better afterwards. Also going out dancing and just enjoy the dancing without focusing on hitting on girls etc feels really good.
