12-18-2015, 11:38 PM
(This post was last modified: 12-18-2015, 11:42 PM by JackOfHearts.)
Stage 4 Day 32:
This last 3 days I have been very witty, even to the point that it seems very stupid. Yet it's seems natural to me. It the second time I noticed that I become less dominant or less rigid in a social setting.
The first time happened this last week from around day 25. I noticed that my voice is more nice, appealing, more sexy or more voluptuous, pleasing, elegant. I also noticed that people reactions when I talks are different, I feel more in touch with my feminine side or I feel that it's okay to be warm when talking with people. Yet I do it naturally and I like doing it. I feel great about it. Like when you are talking with a friend you genuinely like. I talk with strangers like I would talk with a friend or even warmer than with a friend. I feel like it influences people a lot, it breaks down barrier. It's a bit like a naive childish aura that is warm and trustworthy but in a very positive way. By that I meant that it's natural and not premeditated to gain something but just by pure joying of living through the moment like a child do when around people. When I'm writing about his I'm realizing all the similar pattern that I noticed in my daily interaction. Like an old friend of mine which is 20 years older than me told me that he really appreciate my presence and he doesn't know why because usually he doesn't have that closeness with people, especially with someone much more younger than him, it's really something when I know that this guy is really secretive, and doesn't allow low individual in his circle. Also like the last 2 stage it's like everything I did was related to developing this charisma further. It's like I was focus on this idea of charisma. It was a recurring theme through my study, with the Casanova autobiography first and then with astrology. This autobiography from Casanova is worth gold yet it's freely available, I learn so much from it and it was fun.
I seems a lot of people have appreciated my presence recently. A family member from France came here recently and we played poker together. This guy really appreciated my presence, I was able to throw a joke out of a very boring conversation during the first minute we talk and we both laugh as if we were best friend. Then during the whole poker time he was very kind and offered me a lot of cigarette, he look for my advice every time when I wasn't supposed to be the guys in charge, I was at my cousin house. And he was very jealous to say the least (my cousin) or angry. At some point my cousin ask him why he ask me all those things (he was surprised and frustrated).
I was like an authority but yet not with a authoritarian vibe, more warm, or “This guys is so cool yet he is caring, funny”
This make my month even more over the top when I remember that my Ex told me that I have no friend and that everyone hated me, even her mom. I actually think it's the opposite and that I made a great impression to her mum and if I didn't I don't care because her mum is a freak like her or even worse actually. She has this strange aura around her, like someone you don't want to approach her or talk to (her mum).
I saw my Ex last Friday in town when I was with my friend. After I leave my friend to go to my car she followed me with her female friend. It seems like she was just passing with her friend but she was following me. So we talk and through her conversation her friend pointed out discretely that my Ex new boyfriend made anal with her.
Out of that I think that her female friend couldn't throw out those kind of hint with her own will. It simply means that when she was following me she told her friend to say that during the conversation to make me jealous. It's not the first time she did that, she always does it. She always try to make me jealous. Why doing so much work to make jealous? It's obvious to me.
Another interesting thing is that I was able to make her friend laugh when my Ex tried to convinced me about her friendships being genuine. I criticized her last time about her being to much self centered and she tried to convince me it's not true. Her friend couldn't prevent herself from laughing when she was supposed to help her, not laugh at her. Her other female friend behaved like that too and couldn't prevent her self from agreeing with me. Even when I know that my Ex certainly told her to do everything so that she make me jealous. She certainly failed. All her lies, all her manipulation.
I didn't want to talk about her though but it was to be more complete about my report.
2 days later I met another female friends of my Ex when I was near a beach. She was very happy to see me to say the least and I had a conversation with her. All that just confirmed that my Ex is complete lier. This girl was supposed to hate me but she wasn't at all. It's like nothing happened.
Stage 5 Day 4:
Interesting part:-------
I realized yesterday night that I hold much more longer that I used to without doing anything. Usually I would last around 1 min at best and then I would have to use my pc muscle. Yesterday and today I lasted around 10 minutes and maybe even more if I wanted. Huge improvement, I was even tired that I hold it that long.
----------------------
Now I'm wondering if that SM3 lead in doesn't have some sentences related to pleasure in bed. Because the way I experienced it was exactly how I read it somewhere in some SM3 description about lasting longer in bed.
If not then it would mean I did it on my own will when I read about that here. Weird.
Beside that I didn't feel great the last 3 days. I felt not good, somewhat okay. I feel like a drug addict recovering from something. When I'm out I look at girls non stop, I get horny easily. When I'm home I'm bored mostly, I try to let the time pass but I can't stay home long. If I stay home I don't feel good.
This AM6 is still a beast. When I read this forum I'm f*** bored, most journals is boring. AM6 is a boring journey it seems unless you are getting really good with your life.
Conclusion: It is pretty intense right now. Internal war zone.
It's crazy that with all this assertiveness getting into my life that I feel like my voice tone is a pure bliss coming from heaven. My friend told me that I'm courageous yet I don't go overboard about it (jerk). I think my friend here is a manifestation from AM6 because I know he will never betray me. I knew him from a long time ago but he call me back after his problem with some church about 6 month ago and now we hang out. He is the most alpha guy I know, this guys is a natural but with a lot of problems too.
I missed a lot of hours due some mistakes with my computer when I set the tracks.
This last 3 days I have been very witty, even to the point that it seems very stupid. Yet it's seems natural to me. It the second time I noticed that I become less dominant or less rigid in a social setting.
The first time happened this last week from around day 25. I noticed that my voice is more nice, appealing, more sexy or more voluptuous, pleasing, elegant. I also noticed that people reactions when I talks are different, I feel more in touch with my feminine side or I feel that it's okay to be warm when talking with people. Yet I do it naturally and I like doing it. I feel great about it. Like when you are talking with a friend you genuinely like. I talk with strangers like I would talk with a friend or even warmer than with a friend. I feel like it influences people a lot, it breaks down barrier. It's a bit like a naive childish aura that is warm and trustworthy but in a very positive way. By that I meant that it's natural and not premeditated to gain something but just by pure joying of living through the moment like a child do when around people. When I'm writing about his I'm realizing all the similar pattern that I noticed in my daily interaction. Like an old friend of mine which is 20 years older than me told me that he really appreciate my presence and he doesn't know why because usually he doesn't have that closeness with people, especially with someone much more younger than him, it's really something when I know that this guy is really secretive, and doesn't allow low individual in his circle. Also like the last 2 stage it's like everything I did was related to developing this charisma further. It's like I was focus on this idea of charisma. It was a recurring theme through my study, with the Casanova autobiography first and then with astrology. This autobiography from Casanova is worth gold yet it's freely available, I learn so much from it and it was fun.
I seems a lot of people have appreciated my presence recently. A family member from France came here recently and we played poker together. This guy really appreciated my presence, I was able to throw a joke out of a very boring conversation during the first minute we talk and we both laugh as if we were best friend. Then during the whole poker time he was very kind and offered me a lot of cigarette, he look for my advice every time when I wasn't supposed to be the guys in charge, I was at my cousin house. And he was very jealous to say the least (my cousin) or angry. At some point my cousin ask him why he ask me all those things (he was surprised and frustrated).
I was like an authority but yet not with a authoritarian vibe, more warm, or “This guys is so cool yet he is caring, funny”
This make my month even more over the top when I remember that my Ex told me that I have no friend and that everyone hated me, even her mom. I actually think it's the opposite and that I made a great impression to her mum and if I didn't I don't care because her mum is a freak like her or even worse actually. She has this strange aura around her, like someone you don't want to approach her or talk to (her mum).
I saw my Ex last Friday in town when I was with my friend. After I leave my friend to go to my car she followed me with her female friend. It seems like she was just passing with her friend but she was following me. So we talk and through her conversation her friend pointed out discretely that my Ex new boyfriend made anal with her.
Out of that I think that her female friend couldn't throw out those kind of hint with her own will. It simply means that when she was following me she told her friend to say that during the conversation to make me jealous. It's not the first time she did that, she always does it. She always try to make me jealous. Why doing so much work to make jealous? It's obvious to me.
Another interesting thing is that I was able to make her friend laugh when my Ex tried to convinced me about her friendships being genuine. I criticized her last time about her being to much self centered and she tried to convince me it's not true. Her friend couldn't prevent herself from laughing when she was supposed to help her, not laugh at her. Her other female friend behaved like that too and couldn't prevent her self from agreeing with me. Even when I know that my Ex certainly told her to do everything so that she make me jealous. She certainly failed. All her lies, all her manipulation.
I didn't want to talk about her though but it was to be more complete about my report.
2 days later I met another female friends of my Ex when I was near a beach. She was very happy to see me to say the least and I had a conversation with her. All that just confirmed that my Ex is complete lier. This girl was supposed to hate me but she wasn't at all. It's like nothing happened.
Stage 5 Day 4:
Interesting part:-------
I realized yesterday night that I hold much more longer that I used to without doing anything. Usually I would last around 1 min at best and then I would have to use my pc muscle. Yesterday and today I lasted around 10 minutes and maybe even more if I wanted. Huge improvement, I was even tired that I hold it that long.
----------------------
Now I'm wondering if that SM3 lead in doesn't have some sentences related to pleasure in bed. Because the way I experienced it was exactly how I read it somewhere in some SM3 description about lasting longer in bed.
If not then it would mean I did it on my own will when I read about that here. Weird.
Beside that I didn't feel great the last 3 days. I felt not good, somewhat okay. I feel like a drug addict recovering from something. When I'm out I look at girls non stop, I get horny easily. When I'm home I'm bored mostly, I try to let the time pass but I can't stay home long. If I stay home I don't feel good.
This AM6 is still a beast. When I read this forum I'm f*** bored, most journals is boring. AM6 is a boring journey it seems unless you are getting really good with your life.
Conclusion: It is pretty intense right now. Internal war zone.
It's crazy that with all this assertiveness getting into my life that I feel like my voice tone is a pure bliss coming from heaven. My friend told me that I'm courageous yet I don't go overboard about it (jerk). I think my friend here is a manifestation from AM6 because I know he will never betray me. I knew him from a long time ago but he call me back after his problem with some church about 6 month ago and now we hang out. He is the most alpha guy I know, this guys is a natural but with a lot of problems too.
I missed a lot of hours due some mistakes with my computer when I set the tracks.
