(12-14-2015, 10:11 PM)essy Wrote: I could be a real killer, but I'm still not willing to act on or create opportunities; and it's extremely frustrating. This is literally my greatest mental hangup, and it consists of fear, shame, and a deficit of confidence.
That's a HUGE problem I had during AM6, and way way way worse during SM3. And STILL do, to be honest. I just don't believe it's possible for me, despite all my massive, epic accomplishments in my life other than with girls. Girls/sex are clearly viewed separately by my mind from everything else, and maybe by yours too. They both seem so out of reach oddly, no matter what.
Half of me would be seeing some things with girls that may or may not be real, but I'd have this internal conflict where I wouldn't believe it and that I'm nowhere near able to attract girls that hot etc. so I must be mistakening their behaviour or intentions. It's a very strange feeling. I mirror your experiences. I've called it a "duality", that's been my experience constantly. With SM3 in particular, I just couldn't believe the program could work like the sales page claims it can, as that sales page is SO far out of my reality it seemed ridiculous to even go for it but I forced myself to. And I had a massive disconnect the whole time on it, and almost constant exhaustion. I was waiting for something amazing to happen to PROVE to me SM3's script it can be reality for me, but it never happened. I guess it was like the chicken and the egg. All the other programs have worked well for me, but SM3 did not.
Now apparently, Shannon says you don't need to BELIEVE in the sub for it to work, so maybe it's a coincidence. But, for me, I felt like two different men during the run. One that daydreamed of being a hot alpha male sex magnet with girls I know or famous girls etc. and believing in the script's intention and being positive and open to it, and the other hugely doubting it and not believing it can work and constantly being disappointed in it when it over and over and over failed to do anything tangible during outings with girls. Maybe also contributing to this are terrible past experiences with girls and having ZERO sexual experience and not even a kiss in my life...ruining my confidence in myself and my abilities to ever attract attractive girls and have sex with them. SM3's goals felt so far out of my realm of reality it's hard to even describe accurately. Like trying to teach a fish how to operate a nuclear power plant...
Maybe another run of SM3, can breakthrough, but to be honest after how blank and negative the run was, I don't even know if the program CAN work for me regardless of how often it's run. I literally don't know. I do know that perhaps next up will be OF5G for awhile, then an AM6 redo. I'm still waiting to see how my two current subs deal with girl issues, and they seem to be doing an amazing job. So I may not need OF5G after all and can skip right to AM6 again. After that, we'll see if I feel up to SM3 hell again lol
. Maybe SM4 will be needed in 6G...I don't know.Just know, you aren't alone pal. Transforming this fast in such a short time can create this kind of duality I think. 6G will likely make it happen faster and easier and more reliable and permanent, but for now, just trust in the system and keep moving forward as best as you can each day getting all the hours in you can.
We got your back, bro!
