12-01-2015, 06:04 PM
I've been thinking more lately, and I think I'm in a state of depression right now. It's not as bad as when I was on EPRHA initially, but still...it's definitely affected my life in a huge way. I'm just starting to feel like I'm not enough or that I just may not do well. I mean the semester has gone by and I haven't been on a "date" or anything at all. That's a hell of a lot worse than my previous semester. And I'm feeling like I'm small and caged. Like there's nothing I can do in certain situations. I almost feel like a lot of stuff is just meaningless. Right now, it almost makes more sense to play a fucking video game than to go out in the world and try to do something. At least in a game, I can understand how to achieve a certain goal and simply DO IT or practice and DO IT. I just don't really know what else to do at this point. I just want to feel comfortable and accepted by the people in my major and I want girls to obsess and fantasize about me. That's what I want right now. But I want bigger things in life to, it's just that those are the things I REALLY want RIGHT NOW! I just want to fucking succeed!
