11-14-2015, 12:31 AM
For the course I do not Saturday's I had all week to do some homework that to be done for today, I got most of it done but kept putting finishing it off over and over again. Last night I had a really late night and I was really disappointed in myself, I ended up waking up very tired and groggy and emailed my tutor say I can not come in today.
I now feel really dispointed with myself and It is all because I automatically sabatage myself.
It sucks that myself goes against myself.
I missed another appointment I had last night too.
I think OF is giving me weird resistance, resistance that I don't notice untill it is too late. It's very stealthy and sneaky!!! I feel like I have been manipulated by my frickin self!
When I miss certain things I should and want actually do, I start to feel like a failure and hope of progress feels gone? Which is a really horrible deep sinking feeling in middle of my body.
Yesterday day time I was all positive, hopeful and motivated and when it all really matters and counts, I automatically fucked it up.
I now feel really dispointed with myself and It is all because I automatically sabatage myself.
It sucks that myself goes against myself.
I missed another appointment I had last night too.
I think OF is giving me weird resistance, resistance that I don't notice untill it is too late. It's very stealthy and sneaky!!! I feel like I have been manipulated by my frickin self!
When I miss certain things I should and want actually do, I start to feel like a failure and hope of progress feels gone? Which is a really horrible deep sinking feeling in middle of my body.
Yesterday day time I was all positive, hopeful and motivated and when it all really matters and counts, I automatically fucked it up.
