god dangit man, every single day i've been saying something that's really getting me into trouble! I've been coming off as sarcastic, rude, sideways, etc. and people around me are REALLY not liking it! NEITHER AM I! I want to shut myself off from everyone and just be silent, to avoid risking hurting people. I'm being insensitive and arrogant, and it's not even because I'm trying to be. I've been really stressed out lately, and it kind of sucks when you live at the place you work, since work never stops and "having a life" separate from work is a big feat. I am pretty sure I'm burned out. I had an hour long conversation with my mentor about some stuff and I feel pretty OK about it now, but I'm teetering on the edge of life at this point, an explosion waiting to happen.
Could it be that SM3 is changing the way I communicate? I was reading my posts in my AM6 thread after posting the legotroll, and I noticed my posting style is a lot different than it is now. I even mentioned a premonition of how SM3 might change the way I communicate lol. I mean it's not like I stopped giving a FU** about people around me, I'm not a rude person by nature. And it's definitely not alpha to be taking verbal shots at people the way I have been lately. Either SM3 is working on something sex related, or something is being resisted. Maybe all this shit is just refining my communication skills. I'm tired of these confrontations though. It's really stressful, and at the end of the day I know it's a GROWING EXPERIENCE, but it freaking SUCKS when your closest friends call you out for being an insensitive asshole to them out of nowhere, and then telling me to take a look at myself because I'm lashing out.
ORRRR i just had a thought! maybe i'm not channeling my sexual energy in a constructive manner! I noticed I can stay up a lot later at night, and I don't need a nap during the day anymore. My energy levels are a lot higher for the past couple days as well.
another thought could be all this pent up testosterone having nowhere to go. i remember my buddy who does MMA fighting would "strategically bust a nut" (his exact words lmao) to get ready for his next fight and maximize the amount of testosterone in his system.
One thing i'm really worried about though is blowing my entire load prematurely and embarassing the shit out of myself in front of the (un)lucky girl who helps me wet my dry spell
Could it be that SM3 is changing the way I communicate? I was reading my posts in my AM6 thread after posting the legotroll, and I noticed my posting style is a lot different than it is now. I even mentioned a premonition of how SM3 might change the way I communicate lol. I mean it's not like I stopped giving a FU** about people around me, I'm not a rude person by nature. And it's definitely not alpha to be taking verbal shots at people the way I have been lately. Either SM3 is working on something sex related, or something is being resisted. Maybe all this shit is just refining my communication skills. I'm tired of these confrontations though. It's really stressful, and at the end of the day I know it's a GROWING EXPERIENCE, but it freaking SUCKS when your closest friends call you out for being an insensitive asshole to them out of nowhere, and then telling me to take a look at myself because I'm lashing out.
ORRRR i just had a thought! maybe i'm not channeling my sexual energy in a constructive manner! I noticed I can stay up a lot later at night, and I don't need a nap during the day anymore. My energy levels are a lot higher for the past couple days as well.
another thought could be all this pent up testosterone having nowhere to go. i remember my buddy who does MMA fighting would "strategically bust a nut" (his exact words lmao) to get ready for his next fight and maximize the amount of testosterone in his system.
One thing i'm really worried about though is blowing my entire load prematurely and embarassing the shit out of myself in front of the (un)lucky girl who helps me wet my dry spell
