09-30-2015, 10:07 PM
stage 3 day 16
Day 5 of no fap
A bit unusual of me to be posting every day now, but I was told today by one of my best friends that he thinks I'm a "babe magnet" now. even his girlfriend of 2 weeks has (present tense) a crush on me, as he says... and her touchy feelyness towards me kinda proves it.
I was depressed today out of nowhere. I'm pretty sure I hit 22 hours out of 24 hours listening as I've been keeping my kindle fire on as often as possible, so that could be one reason. Another possibility is that I raised the volume on my listening (ultrasonic) so my subconscious is responding to the sub literally screaming at me by depression, and as a last minute defense.
I didn't even realize it but approach anxiety is definitely being dealt with. It's easier for me to talk to girls I don't know. The super hot ones are still not as easy to talk to, but in more of a "i don't really care if I talk to her now or not" way.
Sometimes I'm a dickhead to women and don't feeling bad about it. I'm sure it's part of the stage 3 process, and will need to be rounded off later in the program. It's like sarcasm with a touch of abrasiveness, which is NOT who I was before. I used to be a people pleaser, shy, 'stay out of conflict at all costs' type of person, but i'm surprising myself and my friends with some of the comments I make.
It just hit me like a ton of bricks that I'm barely halfway through this program, so there's way more to come and i'm ridiculously excited on what's already happened so far, plus what more is to come!
I feel like I'm becoming what I've dreamed of becoming ^_^
Day 5 of no fap
A bit unusual of me to be posting every day now, but I was told today by one of my best friends that he thinks I'm a "babe magnet" now. even his girlfriend of 2 weeks has (present tense) a crush on me, as he says... and her touchy feelyness towards me kinda proves it.
I was depressed today out of nowhere. I'm pretty sure I hit 22 hours out of 24 hours listening as I've been keeping my kindle fire on as often as possible, so that could be one reason. Another possibility is that I raised the volume on my listening (ultrasonic) so my subconscious is responding to the sub literally screaming at me by depression, and as a last minute defense.
I didn't even realize it but approach anxiety is definitely being dealt with. It's easier for me to talk to girls I don't know. The super hot ones are still not as easy to talk to, but in more of a "i don't really care if I talk to her now or not" way.
Sometimes I'm a dickhead to women and don't feeling bad about it. I'm sure it's part of the stage 3 process, and will need to be rounded off later in the program. It's like sarcasm with a touch of abrasiveness, which is NOT who I was before. I used to be a people pleaser, shy, 'stay out of conflict at all costs' type of person, but i'm surprising myself and my friends with some of the comments I make.
It just hit me like a ton of bricks that I'm barely halfway through this program, so there's way more to come and i'm ridiculously excited on what's already happened so far, plus what more is to come!
I feel like I'm becoming what I've dreamed of becoming ^_^
