This is more of an observation than an update.
I've always been a charismatic person, and that comes out in the way I talk. When people don't return a comparable level of energy, I take it personally. I feel...rejected. Of course, this falls under approval seeking behaviour, which I'm intimately familiar with. When I feel this way, I sometimes make a conscious effort to blunt my charisma, and it always feels unnatural.
I've been told that my charisma inspires others, and I've observed people become seduced it, and I don't mean sexually. But I should expect nothing in return, and it's foolish to think that a dull, or monotone response has anything to do with me personally. Even if it does, who the fuck cares?
I've never put this into words, and maybe it will help with my development.
I still think I would benefit from being a little less excitable overall.
I've always been a charismatic person, and that comes out in the way I talk. When people don't return a comparable level of energy, I take it personally. I feel...rejected. Of course, this falls under approval seeking behaviour, which I'm intimately familiar with. When I feel this way, I sometimes make a conscious effort to blunt my charisma, and it always feels unnatural.
I've been told that my charisma inspires others, and I've observed people become seduced it, and I don't mean sexually. But I should expect nothing in return, and it's foolish to think that a dull, or monotone response has anything to do with me personally. Even if it does, who the fuck cares?
I've never put this into words, and maybe it will help with my development.
I still think I would benefit from being a little less excitable overall.
Under heaven all can see beauty as beauty only because there is ugliness.
All can know good as good only because there is evil.
All can know good as good only because there is evil.
