09-25-2015, 07:41 PM
Something weird is happening with my computer. At random times, my computer's audio will just simply stop putting out. Not in the middle of playing something, but when I go to do something else on my PC. It's pretty annoying. I have to reboot it each time I want the audio back.
Anyway, still strong with EPRHA. This is where I am right now internally. I am getting back into my flow and trust me...I've REALLY missed it. I actually hung out with one girl for a little bit after class and I approached an attractive one from another class and in both scenarios, I just went with whatever was there. I'm glad I still have it and I'm glad I had those interactions today.
Before, I use to think that the world was a hopeless place. And that mankind is pretty much fucked. While I do still think that, I don't feel desperate for hope anymore. I feel like I just accepted it and whatever will happen will happen, but I want to have fun and enjoy my life.
Also, before I felt like I was cheated out of what I deserved and I wanted others to experience the same thing. Now I don't really feel that way. I feel like I am going to get what I've always deserved and wanted and I'm going to do what it takes to accomplish that. At the same time, I'm okay with any collateral damage, but the causing the damage isn't my main objective (whereas before I feel like it may have been).
I'm overall starting to feel my personality again. A version of my personality that isn't fueled by anger, vengeance, and jealousy. A version that is fueled by my drive to accomplish, succeed, and really enjoy the kind of lifestyle I want to live.
I think it's funny. I'm feeling like the closer I get to completing the last month, the more I feel that EPRHA is completing the process with me. Interesting
Anyway, still strong with EPRHA. This is where I am right now internally. I am getting back into my flow and trust me...I've REALLY missed it. I actually hung out with one girl for a little bit after class and I approached an attractive one from another class and in both scenarios, I just went with whatever was there. I'm glad I still have it and I'm glad I had those interactions today.
Before, I use to think that the world was a hopeless place. And that mankind is pretty much fucked. While I do still think that, I don't feel desperate for hope anymore. I feel like I just accepted it and whatever will happen will happen, but I want to have fun and enjoy my life.
Also, before I felt like I was cheated out of what I deserved and I wanted others to experience the same thing. Now I don't really feel that way. I feel like I am going to get what I've always deserved and wanted and I'm going to do what it takes to accomplish that. At the same time, I'm okay with any collateral damage, but the causing the damage isn't my main objective (whereas before I feel like it may have been).
I'm overall starting to feel my personality again. A version of my personality that isn't fueled by anger, vengeance, and jealousy. A version that is fueled by my drive to accomplish, succeed, and really enjoy the kind of lifestyle I want to live.
I think it's funny. I'm feeling like the closer I get to completing the last month, the more I feel that EPRHA is completing the process with me. Interesting
