09-04-2015, 08:50 AM
(09-04-2015, 03:24 AM)DarthXedonias Wrote: Congrats on the improvements. I do have one question though. I'm currently on day 95 (continuing pass 90 days per Shannon's suggestion) and I'm experience a lot of rage. I'm came to the conclusion that, just like you, I was driven by a lot of rage that I wasn't even aware I had. The first 45 days was pretty good but then days 45-90 there was a lot of resistance and anger. About how long did the resistance last for you while running this sub? Also, were you using Ultrasonic or Masked version? Lastly, on a different note, have you noticed people talking to you more now? I've noticed that past day 80 every time I go to the grocery store and wait in line someone always, 95% of the time, tries to start up a conversation with me. Not that I mind but way different from what I'm use to.
It's interesting that you had a lot of rage as well. Just to note, before running EPRHA, I ran ASC for a month and I did get angrier quicker and much more frequently during that time. Then I took off the week before running EPRHA.
That in between week was nice for me. I didn't feel any resistance at all lol (obviously since I wasn't running anything).
When I started EPRHA, I was ready to dive into it because of all the great things everyone said about it on this forum. So I started listening to it HEAVY (probably at least 16 hours consistently). I played it nonstop in my room and always listened to the ultrasonic when I slept. During the day, I would listen to the ultrasonic through my tv speakers for the first month, then my X-Mini Speakers. On certain days, I would get at least 1 hr of masked track listening in through my apple earbuds (that was very inconsistent and I got WAY WAY more hours in from speakers).
The first two days of EPRHA were fine, the third day resistance kicked in! It built and built. And for the first about 3 months, I had that rage resistance. Rage towards the past, people from my past, the present and how it isn't what I want it to be, people in the present who seemed to easily have what I've worked my ass off for so long for, people in the present who were in my way or made things more difficult for me emotionally. It got to the point where I would have to lock myself in my room because I thought about how nice it'd be strangle them. Never before in my life have I felt rage directed towards so many people at one time. But around the 3rd month it started to go away.
It was also sometime around the 3rd month that I noticed sometimes someone would say something when I took my mother to the grocery store. The times I went by myself, it didn't really happen. But before I got to this point with EPRHA, it didn't even happen when I did take my mother to the grocery store, so I fully believed it was EPRHA. I'm guessing it was some kind of "approachable" aura...of course I JUST started to stop being angry at the world, so it makes sense people would talk to my mother since she was near me.
As of right now, I can't say that many people have approached me since I've been back on campus. But it was always typically older people (not college aged) that approached around the grocery store.
