Overcoming Fear 1.1 Journal

[koshas]

Day 4

I had a string of nightmares last night, all charged with fear and anxieties hehehe

Today, I noticed some results from my releasing on negativity toward women and even toward myself.

I had a sense of safety about my future. I had also a lot less the feeling of being excluded.
During certain moments, I had burst of appreciation toward some of my female friends.
When I walked in the street, I felt more present and relaxed.

Usually in the past, when I work with the Goal process from the Sedona Method, it takes about 45 to 60 days to see real solid changes.


I remember back in 2012, I worked with the affirmation "I allow myself to be able to seduce any girl I want"
It worked great, It got me girls that are still in my life to this day.

But I realized that a seducer lifestyle its not what I wanted....
I remember I approached these 2 Australian students. It was easy to charm and entertain them. But, deep down, I didn't like these girls.
It was like being a PUA. Many PUAs don't like women and they end up feeling depressed and resentful.

What the affirmation did for me, it created a reality where I was able to easily approach any girls I wanted regardless of my mood.
I approached many girls in the streets, bars and clubs etc....
It was easy but eventually deep down I still had a lot of negativity and disapproval.
At one point, one of my friend challenged me to approach a "total 10" in a club. He chooses the girl for me. I did approach her and to my surprise it worked great, she was initially even more attracted to me than I was to her. We stayed in contact for a month or so, but alas my negativity got the best of me.

I have no idea what will be the outside result of the affirmation I'm currently using. It is really a surprise journey, we will see

I am struggling with this same issue with negativity towards women.its more of subconscious beliefs.and some rather messed up life experiences.it has gotten a lot better since I started this sub journey ,but I am not where I want to be yet.