08-23-2015, 11:44 PM
stage 2 day 9
I quit my job, expecting to leave to india in september. but just found out i'm not leaving til november lol. yay for more sex magnet in america where the women are easy and the men are sleazy. Also, plenty of time means an awesome opportunity to update!
Major mental focus is around self improvement in the "game" area. Thoughts of how things would be perceived by women, such as what I say or what I do. The alpha trait of wanting to "do the right thing" has carried over tremendously, and I felt super guilty today slapping the ass of the blonde girl who's dating my friend. we have an inside joke regarding butts; she was about to slap mine from behind but I turned around too quickly and when i saw her she retracted, and told me what she was going to do. So a few secs later I do it to her... and OMG I FELT SO GUILTY.... but the motion was totally natural and I didn't have to consciously make the decision whether or not I should do it. lol.. WEIRD, but I apologized to her later and cleared up my side of the street saying I was way out of line with my unauthorized physical contact today.
Also some of the stuff I say is REALLY cheesy and my room mate straight up said to me yesterday "dude if I was a girl that would have TOTALLY turned me off" in response to something I said. My other friend also says similar stuff all the time to me in response to my cheezy jokes or statements. I have a lot of work to do in the verbiage department, and what diarrhea comes out of my mouth in the way I am "being myself" around women.
The good thing is, I have totally been viewing those comments towards me as constructive criticism. I want to use it to improve myself in the women arena.
I'm pretty sure approach anxiety is being dealt with. it's far easier to talk to girls that i haven't met yet, although escalation is still an issue for me.
That one tinder girl has fallout, bad.. lol. I used to CRAVE for girls to fallout for me, but now it's almost sad!! I don't freaking understand tho, we went out on monday and she picked me up in her van and then picked up her other friend...... not entirely sure why she needed backup? maybe she needed reassurance since it was her 3rd time meeting me in person and wanted comfort in knowing she's with a good person? idk i don't know the fine art of understanding women scientifically. We're gonna hangout again on thursday. I need to pull the freekin trigger, but i'm such a lil bitch when it comes to that lol. I've missed so many opportunities with countless women because I can't pull that trigger. All over bullshit self image or perception similar to what JUSTIN helped me smash in the previous posts.
There's this one 18 year old mexican chick I see all teh time but just started chatting with a couple days ago, and now she's greeting me with "hiiii frieeendddd" type stuff, but held me for 8 seconds when she hugs me today so.... mixed messages? I tend to hold hugs with women until I sense that the hug has reached it's welcomed time, so i didn't let go until i sensed it with her.
Another mexican chick who's about to start her senior year in high school (most likely not 18 yet) that i catch eyeing me from time to time. i've chatted with her a couple times, good conversations... little bit of flirting but me being uneasy about her age, and i haven't had the balls to straight up ask her tho i should dig around through my network and find out how young she is.
redheaded girl who's tall, pasty, and busty has eyed me "longingly" and smiled sensually a couple times this week. i've chatted with her a bit, and she's had a thing for my friend (who calls me out on my cheesy statements) and he's cut it off with her, so i sense a bit of "i need a guy in my life, doesn't matter who" mentality in her. another friend of mine has fuqqed her already too so it's not that the easiness of the situation turns me off, something just doesn't seem right.
COUGAR NATION for real, azn milf posting straight sexual shit on my facebook, DYING to fuqq.
46 year old HOT 10 from previous post held deep eye contact during our conversation today, and when i told her i'll be here another couple months, she said "good, that means we can spend more time together!" and she told me about how she dated a sri lankan in the past (yet again alluding to justin's self image SMASHER that my view on myself is wrong)
Went out to the movies tonight with a bunch of friends, guys and 2 of the mexican girls previously mentioned in this post plus one chick's mom who's tall pasty and busty. i've chatted with this lady a lot in the past, and our interactions get SLIGHTLY more physical each time I see her (twice a week), most recently being warm hugs and today her telling me she loves me. She commented positively about my mustache and my scent (pheromones).
GOD HER DAUGHTER IS FREAKING HOT AS HELL, 10 looks, 10 personality, definitely long term material. and the daughter was commenting that she loved my mustache, too.
O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O I haven't had SEX yet, but it's getting close O_O
**Side note ---- I JUST REALIZED the sleepphones seem to have speakers on both sides of the fleece O_O.... that means the two dudes I share a room with are getting exposed!!!!???? One of the dudes is gay, so he does not meet the qualification requirement of being heterosexual... but the otehr one who's literally a few feet away from my bed has got to be hearing it all night..
AND ALSO, there's this dude that's in the adjacent room who's got serious depression and self consciousness issues and I'M REALLY HOPING the sleep phones aren't loud enough to where he's being exposed too. Because he's been REALLY FREAKING depressed, anxious, OCD about himself lately. The wall is made of bricks but there's glass windows and if you talk loud enough on one side, you can hear it on the other..................................................................................
This shit has me worried. If I'm exposing my room mates with the sleep phones, I'm just gonna switch back to speakers.
I quit my job, expecting to leave to india in september. but just found out i'm not leaving til november lol. yay for more sex magnet in america where the women are easy and the men are sleazy. Also, plenty of time means an awesome opportunity to update!
Major mental focus is around self improvement in the "game" area. Thoughts of how things would be perceived by women, such as what I say or what I do. The alpha trait of wanting to "do the right thing" has carried over tremendously, and I felt super guilty today slapping the ass of the blonde girl who's dating my friend. we have an inside joke regarding butts; she was about to slap mine from behind but I turned around too quickly and when i saw her she retracted, and told me what she was going to do. So a few secs later I do it to her... and OMG I FELT SO GUILTY.... but the motion was totally natural and I didn't have to consciously make the decision whether or not I should do it. lol.. WEIRD, but I apologized to her later and cleared up my side of the street saying I was way out of line with my unauthorized physical contact today.
Also some of the stuff I say is REALLY cheesy and my room mate straight up said to me yesterday "dude if I was a girl that would have TOTALLY turned me off" in response to something I said. My other friend also says similar stuff all the time to me in response to my cheezy jokes or statements. I have a lot of work to do in the verbiage department, and what diarrhea comes out of my mouth in the way I am "being myself" around women.
The good thing is, I have totally been viewing those comments towards me as constructive criticism. I want to use it to improve myself in the women arena.
I'm pretty sure approach anxiety is being dealt with. it's far easier to talk to girls that i haven't met yet, although escalation is still an issue for me.
That one tinder girl has fallout, bad.. lol. I used to CRAVE for girls to fallout for me, but now it's almost sad!! I don't freaking understand tho, we went out on monday and she picked me up in her van and then picked up her other friend...... not entirely sure why she needed backup? maybe she needed reassurance since it was her 3rd time meeting me in person and wanted comfort in knowing she's with a good person? idk i don't know the fine art of understanding women scientifically. We're gonna hangout again on thursday. I need to pull the freekin trigger, but i'm such a lil bitch when it comes to that lol. I've missed so many opportunities with countless women because I can't pull that trigger. All over bullshit self image or perception similar to what JUSTIN helped me smash in the previous posts.
There's this one 18 year old mexican chick I see all teh time but just started chatting with a couple days ago, and now she's greeting me with "hiiii frieeendddd" type stuff, but held me for 8 seconds when she hugs me today so.... mixed messages? I tend to hold hugs with women until I sense that the hug has reached it's welcomed time, so i didn't let go until i sensed it with her.
Another mexican chick who's about to start her senior year in high school (most likely not 18 yet) that i catch eyeing me from time to time. i've chatted with her a couple times, good conversations... little bit of flirting but me being uneasy about her age, and i haven't had the balls to straight up ask her tho i should dig around through my network and find out how young she is.
redheaded girl who's tall, pasty, and busty has eyed me "longingly" and smiled sensually a couple times this week. i've chatted with her a bit, and she's had a thing for my friend (who calls me out on my cheesy statements) and he's cut it off with her, so i sense a bit of "i need a guy in my life, doesn't matter who" mentality in her. another friend of mine has fuqqed her already too so it's not that the easiness of the situation turns me off, something just doesn't seem right.
COUGAR NATION for real, azn milf posting straight sexual shit on my facebook, DYING to fuqq.
46 year old HOT 10 from previous post held deep eye contact during our conversation today, and when i told her i'll be here another couple months, she said "good, that means we can spend more time together!" and she told me about how she dated a sri lankan in the past (yet again alluding to justin's self image SMASHER that my view on myself is wrong)
Went out to the movies tonight with a bunch of friends, guys and 2 of the mexican girls previously mentioned in this post plus one chick's mom who's tall pasty and busty. i've chatted with this lady a lot in the past, and our interactions get SLIGHTLY more physical each time I see her (twice a week), most recently being warm hugs and today her telling me she loves me. She commented positively about my mustache and my scent (pheromones).
GOD HER DAUGHTER IS FREAKING HOT AS HELL, 10 looks, 10 personality, definitely long term material. and the daughter was commenting that she loved my mustache, too.
O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O I haven't had SEX yet, but it's getting close O_O
**Side note ---- I JUST REALIZED the sleepphones seem to have speakers on both sides of the fleece O_O.... that means the two dudes I share a room with are getting exposed!!!!???? One of the dudes is gay, so he does not meet the qualification requirement of being heterosexual... but the otehr one who's literally a few feet away from my bed has got to be hearing it all night..
AND ALSO, there's this dude that's in the adjacent room who's got serious depression and self consciousness issues and I'M REALLY HOPING the sleep phones aren't loud enough to where he's being exposed too. Because he's been REALLY FREAKING depressed, anxious, OCD about himself lately. The wall is made of bricks but there's glass windows and if you talk loud enough on one side, you can hear it on the other..................................................................................
This shit has me worried. If I'm exposing my room mates with the sleep phones, I'm just gonna switch back to speakers.
